I hate my mom

[Broken2peices]

Hi,

I am 15 and my mom is driving me crazy... It started out with my sister she would let her hang out with her friends but tried to keep her very close. She is WAY to ever protective. And my mom gave all of her trust to her and my sister toke it. She had sex with every guy in her grade and she moved out twice and just came back for money.. I have tried to tell my mom not to let her back but she does anyways. I do understand that she does love my sister and wants the best for her but my sister could care less about my mom. And now my mom thinks that I am going to follow in her foot steps. I have this boyfriend and I know that at my age I shouldnt be thinking at long term relationships but he treats me well. He always wants to hang out with me but my mom says that I cant no matter what!!!! Maybe he could come play cards with the whole family but only for like an hour.... I really like him and I like hanging out with him but now my mom will rarely let me even go and hang out with my girl friends. I want her to trust me but she doesnt think that it is right for her to trust me and that I should just trust her. She thinks that her kids should just help around the house and just be glad that we have eachother... And that we should get straight A's and be little perfect kids... She was abused when she was little not like hard core but hit alot and was more like the Cinderella in her family.. So now she thinks if she treats us better even just a little better that she is the best mom in the world. And I dont want to hurt her feelings but shes not I think that she is way over protective... My summer so far has been of cleaning the house, going camping (w/only family) and planting flowers... No friends unless I sneak around... But i hate doing it because it only proves her theory. And I dont know how to get her to losen up... you are my last chance I think that I might run away soon too.... I just have no where to go....

HELP ME

~Broken2peices

[stacym75]

I know u won't want to hear this but it might just be that your mom is trying to protect you .My parents wouldn't let me do alot either.Although my boyfriends could come hang out at my house and sit and watch tv or play cards or whatever.Just give it time.Things will be better.And remember its your mom ,you may not like everything she does now but one day you will understand.

[Broken2peices]

Hey,

I know that it is because she is trying to protect me but I dont know if I can take it anymore.... I dont think that I hate her hate her but I cant say that I love her.... I am just looking to find away to get away from this and to get her to trust me and my friends... If I am forced to stay at home with no one it sucks, but if I choose to be at home alone it would be different... Do you know what I mean? I just dont know what to do my only thought is to run away and I just dont want to... Everything I love is in my town...

Please respond

Broken2peices

[Tim'sAngel]

First of all, your title so insensitive! I can see you saying that if your mother abused you or allowed others to abuse you, or made you feel ugly or unwanted, and then I read your thread and see she is only trying to protect her little angel. You should be grateful that you have a mother that loves you, alot of young people your age do not!!

 

With that being said, it wasn't so long ago I was 15 and feeling quite the same way. It is normal to feel smothered because you are really wanting to spread your wings and you feel that your parents are trying to keep you grounded. So I have my doubts that your mother is as horrible as you are making her out to be. In fact, your not even making her out to be horrible. She sound like any normal, sane parent. So your telling me you aren't ever allowed to have friends over for sleepovers or pizza and movies? Is your bf allowed to come over and do things with you at the house? 15 IMO, is a little too young to allow to date.

 

I'm sorry but the only real person I feel for in this situation is your mother. I'm guessing she is a single parent since you did not mention your father, am I right? If so, then think about it, all the responsibility is on her. You will never know how hard that is on her unless you are in the same situation some day. First she loses her oldest daughter, is being used by her for money and a place to stay and not appriciated for it, now her other daughter is talking about running away. Very sad. You have a roof over your head, food to eat, clothes to wear, transportation to school, and a loving mother am I right or wrong? If so, then you really don't have much to complain about.

 

I know its hard growing up. We've all been there. And the thing is you will never know how good you had it until you look back one day as an adult. Try to not say such hurtful things to your mother. Instead, go hug her and tell her what a fantastic job she is doing as a mother and explain to her you need more time with your girlfriends. Ask if they can come stay the night and start from there. There will always be boundaries so get used to that. Maybe your mother doens't approve of the friends you have? How about you give us a little more insightful information of your home life and the situation.

[Buttaflyy]

Because you are 15 there are alot of things that you don't understand. Number one, PARENTING. Your mother sounds like a great mother. She hasn't given up on raising you kids even after all of the hell she's been through.

 

I agree with Tim's Angel, your title was way harsh and insensitive and instead you should appreciate your mother much more than you do. You already know what she's been through with your sister so you should try harder to see things from her perspective.

 

I'm sorry honey, but from your tone you sound very ungrateful and bratty. You sound like you are trying to become everything she's trying to protect you from. I'm glad that you came to a place (here) where you can talk to adults out of your home. I hope that you take heed to what is being said to you here and show your mom as much love and support as she does you. You know that your mother loves you all very much. If she didn't care she'd let you do whatever you wanted and become whatever you choose.

[Tim'sAngel]

You know that your mother loves you all very much. If she didn't care she'd let you do whatever you wanted and become whatever you choose.

 

Agreed. I had lots of troubles with my mother growing up and way up into my teen years. As I look back I can say that out of all the doubts I had, her love was definately not one of them!!!

[Buttaflyy]

Agreed. I had lots of troubles with my mother growing up and way up into my teen years. As I look back I can say that out of all the doubts I had' date=' her love was definately not one of them!!![/quote']

 

I too have had some very trying times growing up. I've tested the waters and when no one else was there (those friends you care so much about at 15) my mom was there to pick me up off my behind, wipe off my knees and tell me what it was I did wrong. Those same things she'd already told me and I ignored.

[Tim'sAngel]

I too have had some very trying times growing up. I've tested the waters and when no one else was there (those friends you care so much about at 15) my mom was there to pick me up off my behind, wipe off my knees and tell me what it was I did wrong. Those same things she'd already told me and I ignored.

 

When I got pregnant, all my so called "friends" left without a trace or a phonecall, and my mother took me in and helped me raise my son the first year of his life. She is undoubtedly the best friend I've ever had!!

[Buttaflyy]

When I got pregnant' date=' all my so called "friends" left without a trace or a phonecall, and my mother took me in and helped me raise my son the first year of his life. She is undoubtedly the best friend I've ever had!![/quote']

 

Same exact story for me, that's why this thread hits so close to home! I hope the OP is listening. You will be saving yourself from alot of heartache if you just take heed and listen now.

[Broken2peices]

I know that it might sound a little harsh but you dont know everything its just those things that bug me the most... I know that she is just trying to protect me becuase I am the only girl that she has left, but its just the fact that she knows how I feel but still wont try to help me get through it... a while ago I had this dog (Dusty) and he was the ONLY friend I had... (I wasnt very social) and he got sick but it was fixable and we had the money but mom just desided to either let him suffer or put him to sleep... she didnt even consider the fact of how I felt. I was the only one in the family who cared about him and I was a very good mother to him... but my mom put him to sleep a.s.a.p. I would cry about it(yes that is bratty but I lost my not only best friend but my only friend) and she would just tell me to shut up... She does hit me some times which isnt alot but when she does its big time. she threw a frying pan at me and it hit me, she didnt even apologize... and I dont know about you but that makes me feel like I am not important and she doesnt care about my dreams, I want to be a vet but when I say that she practically disowns me... She told me flat out that she doesnt want me to be a vet weither I would be happy or not... And one time she told me that she doesnt want me any more and that she is going to put me in a foster care... and I just dont like the way that she is with me she always makes me feel like I am a pill of dirt.... And she knows how I feel. And now I have actual friends but she wont let me hang out with them... I just dont understand her world... And not even for sleep overs... And I may seem young to be dating but its more like going steady... I cant actual go out on a date with him because my mom wont let me... And I really care about him... And at my age friends/ boyfriends mean alot to me some times they are so close they are practically family... And sure they wont be there in the future and family will be but thats even more of a reason to hang out with them while I got them... If you knew that in 3 years you would never see your kid(s) for a long time would you want to be with them more? And no my mom isnt divorced but my dad does have his boundries for me but doesnt keep me in a cage.. My mom says that she hates him too... And I dont tell me mom I hate her. I would never be that mean even though she is to me... And yea I have a roof to live under but she doesnt pay for that my dad does.. And my dad buys the food too... My transportation is the Free bus to school and other then that its mostly my dad... And weither she loves me or not I dont know for sure... And I try to tell her or explain to her that I need more time with my friends but when I ask she says that I dont help around the house enough... And all day when I am not doing home work I am either doing some relaxing time (when she cant see me) or I am cleaning or serving her.... And when she does let me do something I thank her a ton and pamper her even more but she doesnt care... I dont know what else to say PLEASE respond...

~Broken2peices

P.s. The name "I hate my mom" I only put on there because [i think that I might hate my mom] wouldnt fit...

[Buttaflyy]

Broken2pieces,

 

My heart goes out to you because believe it or not I have been here too. I'm not going to try and judge you or your mom, but I will tell you that most girls have strained relationships with their moms during our teenage years. I hope that it will get better for the two of you, and I believe it will. When I was your age, yes, my friends were very important to me. It was like my mom spoke a totally different language than I did. We didn't get a long much at all, and I made plenty of mistakes in defiance or rebellion against her.

 

It does not matter in your household who is the bread winner. You mentioned that your dad pays for everything and your mom doesn't. This is totally irrelevant to your relationship with her. That's between the two of them and their relationship.

 

Also, you can be whatever it is you choose as a profession for yourself. Don't let it bother you what your mom says about you being a vet. I think this is another sign of a parent wanting the best for your child. Sometimes, parents live through their children. Maybe she hadn't gotten a chance to do what she wanted and she's trying to live out her own dreams in you. When you are of age, you will choose your own future. Please just stick it out and do your best in school so that you can be whatever it is you choose at that time.

 

I'm also a parent who doesn't allow my daughter to attend many sleepovers. There are many different reasons, and I'm sure that your mother has her own. You are not a daughter who "hates" her mother. And it shows. You just sound pretty ticked off right now and you need to blow off some steam. Are you closer with your dad? What does he say about all of this? You should never expect to get what you want all of the time, and you even said yourself that your mom lets you do some things sometimes.

[Tim'sAngel]

I agree with everything Buttaflyy says!! Look, nothing in your posts make me believe that you are a terrible daughter or that your mother is a terrible mom. My mom and I said some powerful and hurtful things to each other, things so horrible I don't want to repeat them. Yes, we hurt each other, and yes, she was overprotective, and yes I was rebellious, but in the end, looking back, I now see that neither of us were right or wrong. It isn't easy being a teenager especially in todays world, but guess what, it is even harder to be a parent!! She is responsible for you until the day you are of age. She has already lost one daughter which I'm sure is the reason she is clinging even more tightly to you. It isn't fair to you, but in the long run, no major damage is being done here. I don't expect you to understand everything we're trying to say to you and in time, you will know exactly where we are coming from, especially if you are a mother some day.

 

Right now just try to work on important things like school and sports. Try to talk to your mother with respect, even if you don't feel like it because she is still your mother and she deserves your respect. If she sees that you respect her and that you are not talking back, I can almost guarantee she will let up a little bit.

 

You know you can always come here and vent whenever you need to. Don't say you hate your mother, because its obvious that you don't. Your just going through a rough time in your life and you say things you don't mean.

[sno]

You should love and adore your mother....I know I know you dont think this now but guess what she loves you and only wants the best for you. I was 15 once and I ran away to live with my boyfriend that she wouldnt let me be with decided I should quit school and work for aliving because I can make it on my own yeah right. My mom cried so many tears for me.....she search all of north carolina for me. Became depressed because of me. She found me Luckily it was before it was too late with school. I still rebelled all the time. At the age of 17 I ran aways again right after I graduated High school. I thought I was 17 and a hs graduate I was grown. So I went to live with a new boyfriend. She called my cell phone for about 3 months wanting me to talk to her. Tracked me down 100 miles away. At a drug house. Luckily i was never stupid enough to use drugs but my boyfriend did and didnt ever let me know. One day he didnt have any cocaine....he took it out on me. Beat me form 12 am to 2 am. I couldnt even reconize myself in the mirror. I was in so much pain. Looked like a monster. I was beaten so bad I was talking out of my head. He sat there and watched me for the rest of the night broke my phone and wouldnt allow me to leave. Even tried to force me to have sex with him. I am not talking about a couple of bruises he attemped to kill me. He choked me until I blacked out then put a belt around my neck. One of my neighboors acalled the cops at 9 am the next morning. They transported me to the hospital where I was in icu for a week and not allowed to eat because I had a whole in my trachea and would probably die if I ate any food, drank anything I couldnt even have a peice of ice. My mom who I hated so much came and sat by my side every min of everyday for that week. My mom that I hated so much the one who was so stricked on me went to the court house with me every single time I had to go testify. My mom who I thought didnt love me and was so strick on me was the only person there for me. I am 21 years old now and guys and friends will come and go. But no one in this entire world will ever love you like your mother does. She want be here forever DONT take her forgranted. She is the only person who will forgive you for anything. That is why she takes your sister back everytime She loves her just the same as you she just wants to protect you. She dont want you to end up like your sister she thinks she has miss guided her so she is trying a different approch with you. Baby girl your 15 you have your whole life ahead of you. Just because she doesnt let you go out one night its not the end of the world....it may save your life! Please Please Love and respect your mom.

[Tim'sAngel]

OMG Sno, your post almost made me cry!! What a beautiful story of love!! A mother's love can not be compared to anything!! Thanks for sharing!! B2P I hope you know that if you run away the same or worse could easily happen to you as well!!

 

Although my story isn't quite as extreme, my mother did the same thing. SHe took me in even though I had been so horrible to her!! She stayed up with me through the night when my newborn son was sick because his b*stard a** biological father was no where around. After all the mean horrible thing I had said and done to her, she still loved me regardless and I just wish I could go back through time and undo all the things I did!!

 

And I will do the same for my child as well.

[sno]

I would do anything to be able to go back and erase that from my past too. I hate that I put my mother through that. When you are that young you just think you will die if something dont go your way. And you think your mom hates you or doesnt love you as much when she trys to be strick on you. But I forgot to tell you in my story I have a older brother. Five years older. At the age of 17 he had to kids and was in a very very unhappy marriage, him and his wife where "suppectedly" using drugs. I thought it was my brothers faught to way I couldnt go out, etc. But now he is 26 and afraid to leave his wife because of the fact he want be able to get the kids and I could be just like that if it wasnt for her guidance. Yeah I had bad things happen to me too. My mom couldnt prevent that. But youll never know how much I love her for trying. I have a younger sister she is only 12 now. And my mom will probably be extremely strick on her also but one day she will appreciate it.

[sno]

Yes I wish I could go back and not hurt my mom so bad. But hopefully me messing up so much will help other teenagers and they maybe will realize they don't have to go down that same path. Since I can't change my past I am trying my best to help change others future!

[everlastinggobstoppr]

there's nothing wrong with hating your mother.

[Guest]

Its Broken2peices my internet is being stupid wont sign me on!!!

Sno,

OMG your story made me really rethink this... You are really right and your story make me relize everything that Tim'sAngel and Buttaflyy are true.... No offense I just was in a stubborn mood and me and my mom just got out of a fight when I read the others... And last night I was just at a b-day party and didtn even talk to my mom so it makes me think alittle better having some time off... My mom probably does love me but I just always have this feeling I will give her another chance PROMISE!!!! As parents do you know what could make a mother be less protective though???

P.s. Thanks SOO much I am going to give my mom a big hug when I get home

~B2p

[sno]

Yes you are wrong for hating your mother. Honey she gave you life. Regardless if she is there for you or not. She is the reason you are here....GOD blessed her womb to have you. SHE IS YOUR MOM. I understand some people have mothers not as great as mine......but still you are suppost to honor your mother and father. So yes it is wrong to hate your mother IT IS A SIN.

[everlastinggobstoppr]

Yes you are wrong for hating your mother. Honey she gave you life. Regardless if she is there for you or not. She is the reason you are here....GOD blessed her womb to have you. SHE IS YOUR MOM. I understand some people have mothers not as great as mine......but still you are suppost to honor your mother and father. So yes it is wrong to hate your mother IT IS A SIN.

 

"loving" a despicable person, whether it be child molestor, alcoholic, or your own mother, is just enabling them and does more harm than good for both parties.

[Buttaflyy]

there's nothing wrong with hating your mother.

 

I guess not, if she's SATAN. This girl's mother is not.

[sno]

"loving" a despicable person, whether it be child molestor, alcoholic, or your own mother, is just enabling them and does more harm than good for both parties.

 

I think you have very deep problems you need to discuss in your own thread not this one. Have you even read what this is about. Its about a 15 year old girl wanting to run away because her mom loves her.

[everlastinggobstoppr]

I guess not, if she's SATAN. This girl's mother is not. .

hold on, since when are certain relationships beyond scrutiny here?

 

if she's not allowed to hate her mother and instead be passive about everything, the only way she can cope is by not caring. and that's certainly a worse emotion than hate.

[sno]

hold on, since when are certain relationships beyond scrutiny here?

 

if she's not allowed to hate her mother and instead be passive about everything, the only way she can cope is by not caring. and that's certainly a worse emotion than hate.

 

She basically says herself she don't hate her mom....so if she don't those are harsh words to say. And She shouldn't have her mom you neither....although yeah you have your own opinion.

[everlastinggobstoppr]

I think you have very deep problems you need to discuss in your own thread not this one. Have you even read what this is about. Its about a 15 year old girl wanting to run away because her mom loves her.

yes i have read the thread and i disagree with the idea that the mother is someone holy and can't be criticized.