I hate my mom

[sno]

yes i have read the thread and i disagree with the idea that the mother is someone holy and can't be criticized.

 

Yeah anyone can hate anyone but if you read the bible it is a sin...thats all basically. SIN God is the one how decided that not me. So I am just stating what she should know before you start saying words so harsh.

[everlastinggobstoppr]

Yeah anyone can hate anyone but if you read the bible it is a sin...thats all basically. SIN God is the one how decided that not me. So I am just stating what she should know before you start saying words so harsh.

if something causes you to sin than you should cut it off.

 

therefore she should leave that situation as quickly as possible.

[sno]

In the bible it say it is a sin....SIN I didn't decided this GOD did. She should just be careful about what you say.

 

NO NO She is 15 years old and she wants to spend time with her boyfriend

 

She want die because she doesn't get to go out for one night. Or he has to come over and play cards for an hour with the family. Her mom is being protect what she should do your telling the girl should cut her mom off because she cant go out

[everlastinggobstoppr]

In the bible it say it is a sin....SIN I didn't decided this GOD did. She should just be careful about what you say.

And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

 

 

Matthew 5:30

 

 

 

 

Her mother is causing her to sin. So it's better for her to cut her mother off by moving out.

[stronger_daily]

Hi! I'm new and didn't seen a place to introduce myself so I guess I'm a noob.

 

But I am twice your age and can tell you that it sounds like you have a pretty good mom. But it is normal at your age to think that you hate your mother. Adolescence is so scary and overwhelming and sometimes emotions get blown out of proportion.

 

You may very well have felt that you hated your mom when you started typing this thread and that's okay. Now you know that you were just angry and we all say things in anger we don't mean so don't ever feel bad about just ranting and raving. I can tell you that coming to a forum to say you hate your mother is much smarter than telling her to her face. Once it's out there you can't take it back.

 

I have plenty of opinions on the off topic crap about respecting and honoring parents, but I'm not sure about the rules here regarding religion and it honestly doesn't apply to your situation at all. Hence, the off topic part.

 

Basically you sound like a normal girl who doesn't hate her mom, but you are frustrated with her. Maybe you can sit down with her and talk about it. I know you think it's impossible, but you'd be surprised how much a parent will snap to attention when their child of any age says, "Mom, I need to talk to you and it's important."

 

And don't blame her for things. Tell her you don't understand and you might not and to be honest, you may not have the right to understand it at this point. At all times, be aware that your mother doesn't owe you an explanation for how she protects you or why she has the rules she does.

 

You want her to trust you? Show her that you're willing to play by her rules and that you're not debating that. You're just hoping she'll let you in a bit on why she treats you the way she does. And give up on trying to make her see your sister as someone who needs to be kept away. It's her child, just like you. She'll never turn her back on either of you, whether you believe it or not.

[sno]

Why would anyone in their right mind tell a 15 year old to move out over not getting to hang out with a boy.....How do you expect a 15 year old to make it on their own...she said she has no where to go..her mom don't beat her or anything of the sort. If you go back and read my story. I moved out when I was 15 and guess what I couldn't make it I went hungary...etc. You should think before you speak. Have you been on your own at 15 the world is a big a scary place You are NOT grown at 15 Your mind isnt mature EVEN though you may believe it is....I am sure I thought I was mature and grown at 11 But I wasnt

[sno]

Guess what then at 17 High school grad. I had a good job and a drug dealer for a boyfriend I still could barely make it. We was having to lie cheat and steal....it is hard to make it out there. Please don't try to get someone to leave a stable environment for the streets if they don't need too. It is sad that a 15 year old is coming here for help and you are confusing her this way.

[Buttaflyy]

hold on, since when are certain relationships beyond scrutiny here?

 

if she's not allowed to hate her mother and instead be passive about everything, the only way she can cope is by not caring. and that's certainly a worse emotion than hate.

 

You are not advising her to cope with anything. Read back, even she has said that she doesn't hate her mother.

 

"loving" a despicable person, whether it be child molestor, alcoholic, or your own mother, is just enabling them and does more harm than good for both parties.

 

If it were any one of these things highlighted here, I could understand your point. Her mother is a loving mother who is trying to instill a certain degree of morality in her children. Did you read the thread? Where are you getting this information? Unfortunately, If she doesn't abide by her moms rules she may wind up with a man that you've described.

 

yes i have read the thread and i disagree with the idea that the mother is someone holy and can't be criticized.

No one is saying that her mother is God. Where did you read that? No one is even saying she can't be criticized. Obviously she can, you're doing it. I don't see that this will help the OP with her situation. This is a 15 year old girl who wants to run away. How would her situation be better if she did?

 

if something causes you to sin than you should cut it off.

 

therefore she should leave that situation as quickly as possible.

 

Again, if it were a situation that was enabling her, I'd agree with you, but what do you suggest for her then? I don't think you are stating anything that would help her. How old are you if you don't mind? Are you a teenager who has problems with your mom? Maybe we can help you out as well.

[Buttaflyy]

Sometimes people find it hard to post without applying it to their own lives. It seems that you, Tim's Angel and myself have similar backgrounds with our moms and are speaking from experience, but no one here is applying her story directly to their own. Because of those experiences we are trying to save this young girl from making a big mistake. I don't see how EGS is helping her situation. Even if you get past her title and agree with him that it's ok to hate your mother. How does that help her any? It doesn't. Instead it makes her life and situation much harder to deal with. Nothing can compare to a mother's love. It's really sad to me when someone is lacking that.

[sno]

Yeah, It sounds like one or the other.

 

Sometimes people find it hard to post without applying it to their own lives. It seems that you, Tim's Angel and myself have similar backgrounds with our moms and are speaking from experience, but no one here is applying her story directly to their own. Because of those experiences we are trying to save this young girl from making a big mistake. I don't see how EGS is helping her situation. Even if you get past her title and agree with him that it's ok to hate your mother. How does that help her any? It doesn't. Instead it makes her life and situation much harder to deal with. Nothing can compare to a mother's love. It's really sad to me when someone is lacking that.

 

That is what I am saying I understand if the mother was some aweful person, drug addict, abuser, something of the sort but she just wants her 15 year old daughter to have the boy come to her house to play cards instead of her going out. That is no reason to hate or run away. Luckily the person that is 15 and going through this, said herself she dont think she hates her mom. I just hope she doesnt have to go the the tribulations I had to go through to understand her mother should be honored and respected.

[Broken2peices]

Omg when I read your article I really desided to give my mom another chance... I really dont hate my mother but I wish that she would be able to trust me and respect me... I know that she is the mother but I am a person too and I feel like I should get some respect back... Its not that easy being the kid and I know that its not easy being the mom either but I think that it would be easier if she trusted me then I could trust her back... Do you have any plans to help me gain my mothers trust? I would like my bf to hang out with my family but my mom already hates him because his family has a bad backround... and because there POOR!! I dont know about you but that is low to me... But I just want her trust and I know that I probably have to do something to earn that do you know how I can get it?

Thanks

~b2p

[Buttaflyy]

Omg when I read your article I really desided to give my mom another chance... I really dont hate my mother but I wish that she would be able to trust me and respect me... I know that she is the mother but I am a person too and I feel like I should get some respect back... Its not that easy being the kid and I know that its not easy being the mom either but I think that it would be easier if she trusted me then I could trust her back... Do you have any plans to help me gain my mothers trust? I would like my bf to hang out with my family but my mom already hates him because his family has a bad backround... and because there POOR!! I dont know about you but that is low to me... But I just want her trust and I know that I probably have to do something to earn that do you know how I can get it?

Thanks

~b2p

 

I have to be honest B2P, it's no easy road to reaching a complete and total understanding with your mom. Some things will be trial and error. Some things she'll approve of, some she'll refuse.

 

I'm curious to know what part your dad plays in all of this?

[sno]

Ok first Talk to your mom, invite the guy over, dont expect anything to change overnight. You mom just wants the very best for you. Thats all. I don't think the poor thing is really the issue it could be but I believe that is something she just adds in there of course all mothers would love for their child to marry a lawyer or doctor....but I think she is just scared his "bad background" may take affect on you. Give her a chance to get to know him. When he comes over to play cards, ect....don't expect the next date to be the movies, the next at his house. Give her time invite him over there every time you want to do something. Thank her for letting him come over. If he is the RIGHT guys for you which you are 15 so I know in my case there have been many right guys for me since then, he will still be there after months of family card night. And she will eventually realize that. But there is no one in this world who will be there for you like your mother. That is an unconditional love. Everything is going to be ok...I knew you didn't hate your mother....your a teenager....and this is normal...I know I went through it. Just please no matter what don't run away your mother seems as if she loves you as much as you love her.

[Broken2peices]

Hey,

After talking to you guys I dont think I will ever run away... I do love my mother and I do see now that I have to respect her because she isnt purposly doing what she is... I hope that I can continue talking to you though I feel like you are my friends... And that you have an answer for everything... I am pretty sure that I wont marry my bf at the time but I just like him so much... And that every body has high school love and I just LOVE being stuck in it... until we break up!!! I hope that me and my mom can work things out... I tried talking to her today but it didnt really work she was too busy... I guess another time but she wants to spend some time just me and her soon... (She has been saying that for years) I try to get her to go shopping or something with me but shes always "Too busy" O well I will never guve up just like she wont...

Thanks SOOOO much

~b2p

[sno]

Sweetie I am here anytime you would like to talk. Your mom propbably don't realize she is always busy...Try to tell her you feel like she is always busy. Tell her you need more of her atention. Sometimes a mom will be so busy with work, you, worring about your sister, working about if you have food cooked, worring about the laundary getting done, she may forget she has a 15 yr old daughter who needs her. You two need to set aside sometime aleast 30 mins a night or a whole night every week to just have you two time. If it is 30 mins maybe just talk over some ice cream, if it is a whole night then you two could go rent a movie or go out to eat, whatever you do you need that time. I hope everything works out and you get you time. I will be praying for you. Love Sno

[Buttaflyy]

Hey,

After talking to you guys I dont think I will ever run away... I do love my mother and I do see now that I have to respect her because she isnt purposly doing what she is... I hope that I can continue talking to you though I feel like you are my friends... And that you have an answer for everything... I am pretty sure that I wont marry my bf at the time but I just like him so much... And that every body has high school love and I just LOVE being stuck in it... until we break up!!! I hope that me and my mom can work things out... I tried talking to her today but it didnt really work she was too busy... I guess another time but she wants to spend some time just me and her soon... (She has been saying that for years) I try to get her to go shopping or something with me but shes always "Too busy" O well I will never guve up just like she wont...

Thanks SOOOO much

~b2p

 

Same for me hun. :) Feel free to message me anytime. That was a very noble thing you did You took a step to getting closer with your mom. Sometimes, we the children think that our parents should automatically come to us. The door opens on both ends honey. I'm glad that you see things in a better light.

 

As for the BF. Isn't young love sweet? Have fun, but try not to break your mom's rules as far as seeing him. Try and talk to her about it more once you two start spending time together. Tell her that you in no way want to dishonor her rules. Ask her if you can come to a common ground with her. Let her know that you really like this boy and that if she gave him a chance she might like him too. Mention the idea from Sno about inviting him over for family game night. She will learn to trust you and you will soon see a certain degree of respect that you hadn't noticed before. Take things slowly.

 

Good Luck Sweetheart! I'm very happy to hear that you are feeling better. More than you would have been broken2pieces had you actually ran away

[Broken2peices]

With out you guys I probably wouldnt have the guts to do this... Tomorrow I will go up to her and ask her for some time for just me and her... And I hope that me and my bf can hang out more too... I really do like him alot but I have my bumbs in my relationship with him too.... I hope that your lifes are going great too... I feel so selfish its been all about me and not you, Is there anything that you think that I could help you with? I know that I am young but you would be suprised... I am REALLY happy that I found you guys THANKS SOOOOOO MUCH!

~B2p

[sno]

You are a very sweet girl and I hope everything works out for you. Don't feel selfish, you haven't been at all. Right now I am just glad we could help you. When I read your story it made me forget about all my problems, because really mine are nosense, nothing to worry about. But I remember those days beening your age. You are probably more mature than I was but I just know I wouldnt go back to your age for nothing....Im still very young so Im sure in 5 more years Ill be saying this about my age now. I would really like to keep in contact with you also....I would like to see how things work with your mom and maybe I can give or recieve some more advice in future. Hugs and Kisses Sno

[Broken2peices]

I know that it has been awhile sense I was on here I just went to the Boundry waters and I just got home... I have been trying to improve things with my mom but even though I am giving her, her respect nothing has changed... I have been just hoping it will all fall into place eventually... I havent asked to do much lately so I am hoping that later on I can do something that I REALLY want to do in stead of wasting all of my "yes's" I am just curious and you dont have to answer this but how old are you? I hope that you get a chance to reply to me...

xoxoxoxo

~b2p

[hchris6738k]

i have 3 kids, my youngest is your age, so i have been thru 3 kids your age now. the hardest thing about being a mother is that even though you always try to do the right thing for your kid, they rarely see it that way, it hurts sometimes because you love your babies soo much, but it is life so, us mothers chuck it up. i don't know your mom of course, but let me tell you, that if she is anything like me, she lives for her kids, 98% of her decisions she makes are evolved around her kids. sounds like your mom loves you and dosn't deserve for her daughter to write "i hate my mom", you're at that highly dramatic age where everything seems to huge because you are so young and you want to grow up fast..

 

my kids have several friends who have mothers who don't care where they are or what they are doing, some have spent the night and they don't even need to call anyone to let them know-amazing. i have actually had some of my kids friends say to me, or say to my kids that they wish they had a cool mom like me because they mom dosn't give a rats ass about them. try to calm down and appreciate what you have in your mother, and realize that you one of her babies, and she sees so much good in you and wants you to have a good life because she loves you so much. maybe you should get a school counsiler to be a mediator with you and her, that may help you both understand each other-try it it worked for me and one of my kids.

[sno]

I am so sorry I haven't been on here in a while, I have been on vacation. You were asking me how old I am right. It is my 21st birthday on the 31 of this month. So I am a little older and experienced alot more but at the same time I am still very young and have alot to learn myself. The one thing I have learned in my experiences is you may have best friends and boyfriends who care about you but you family (for most people I understand there are people who are an exception to this) are the only ones who will really be there forever. And no matter what. I know it feels like you'll never get anything accomplished with your mother and it feels like you'll never get to go out with your boyfriend but the time will come I promise. Everything will fall in place you just have to have patiences. Anyways I hope you get this. Sno

[Broken2peices]

Sno,

I cant even put it into words of how thankful I am to have found you!! I would of lost all hope if it wasnt for you!! And me and my mom have talked alot more lately and come to some agreements... I still am not liking the whole protective side of her but I bet one day I will thank her for it! I have been trying my hardest to be as respectful as she deserves but it is harder then it sounds.. I really do love her and I was just going through a phase, but I dont know how to control it when I do go through a phase like that!! Any advise???

Thanks again

~b2p

[CinderellaElla]

I know exactly what you mean, iam 16 and i have some of the same problems with my mom.

She doesnt let me out of the house to hang with friends, and i feel sometimes i have to sneak, but i dont.

It's true tho you dont hate her, i think it's just that you are soo angry with her because of how over protective she is too you. And i feel the same, that it is over protective too, but the other people that quoted in this thread stated they say it's just from a mothers point of view.

I agree to this in some ways, but in others not always.

Reason i say this is because i feel parents should allow you to go with friends and hangout, especially if you arent doing anything wrong.

I do think that maybe you should talk to your mom ( i know that its hard and sometimes doesnt work at all) but it's worth a try, and maybe she will come around.

But i dont thinkk you should run away, because it wont get you anywheres, it would probably make it worse. I always want to run as well, so i know how you feel.

Hope i was a help.

~CinderellaElla~

[To Broken]

Dear Broken,

 

You and I have the same story. I know a lot of the moms on this agree with your mom, or because they have regrets with the things they did in the past, but I don't believe that you are that kid.

 

My suggestion is to write a letter to your mom and put it in her brief case if she has one, or maybe on her nightstand, its a good idea if she's alone when she reads the letter so that she can let it sink in, also don't be emotional (don't say you hate her)

 

Start off by saying "Mom I love you, and I will always respect what you say. Please treat me like an individual daughter, I know that you have had a very bad situation with my sister, but please understand that I am nothing like her."

 

And go on with your demands and how you will make her feel more comfortable with the new changes that will take place. For example you can say "Mom I would like to see my boyfriend more, if it will make you feel more comfortable I will only see him during the times that you are in the house, we can all watch movies together, or play cards etc. I promise in return to always be honest with you about my life. I promise to never use your trust for my gain."

 

Now the biggest thing is: DO NOT BREAK HER TRUST!!!! Like you, you want your mom to stay an emotionally healthy person, just imagin how you would feel if she broke your trust.

 

I hope this helps, and I hope it works.

Good Luck

[Broken2peices]

Thanks,

Everything you said makes sense and yes I did sneak around in the past week but now I really am going to talk to my mom and if she understands and gives me a chance I will try my hardest not to sneak... I think that it will be hard but when I read your replies I change my mind about everything and get centered and see it in another point of veiw... I think that you all have been a great help and I thank you SOOO much!!! I hope we can still talk..

Thanks

~B2p