When to call her?

[Benny]

I just met this girl at a party last Saturday. We had a good time. I got her phone number at the end of the night and I told her I will give her a call.

 

My question is how long should I wait before calling her? I don't want to come on too strong. Is two or three days enough? Do most women appreciate guys calling soon to show interest in them? Thanksgiving is coming up and so I was thinking if I don't call her now, I will call her after that. Is that too late?

 

Another question is since she gave me her number, is that mean she knows I want to ask her out and would probably want to go out? I'm assuming a girl wouldn't give out her number to a guy she just met unless she is interested in him, right?

 

Thanks in advance for all your comments.

[BeenThere]

Can't say that I'm an expert on the dating game rules, since I've never abided by them. The honest "be yourself" approach has always worked best for me.

 

I think two or three days is plenty of time. And although I can't speak for *all* women, I would never give my telephone number to someone who I DIDN'T want to hear from. Being "polite" has its limits. However, there's a running joke among women about why so many men ask for numbers than NEVER call?...

 

You may get the answering machine, in which case, leave her a message that you called. Tell her you'll try again in a couple of days (give her an exact day and time.) And leave her your number in case she wants to call back sooner...but don't panic if she doesn't! If you don't hear from her -- and if she isn't available the second time you call, leave a second message but don't pursue it any further. At that point, you've done enough!

 

I think its also important (at least for me) that a guy has something to say when he calls...that he be able to carry the conversation the first time and NOT leave the entertainment up to the female. Unless she's a natural, this will be more awkward for her than it is for you. If you have something interesting to say, she will start to feel much more relaxed around you.

 

Confidence! Confidence! Confidence!

 

Don't get too deep and personal with her just yet. Keep it short, sweet and pleasant unless the conversation takes off and is flowing freely. And when you run out of things to talk about, for Pete's sake, let go of the damn phone!! They'll be plenty of time for "comfortable silences" later on if the friendship develops.

 

As far as when to ask her out...well, I think you'll know the right time when it comes. It will feel right, and you'll go for it!

 

Good Luck!!

 

PS...if a guy asked for my number than waited the proverbial "two weeks" before calling, I'd know he was playing games and it would turn me off immediately. Of course, than again, I'm older and prefer *grownups*

I just met this girl at a party last Saturday. We had a good time. I got her phone number at the end of the night and I told her I will give her a call. My question is how long should I wait before calling her? I don't want to come on too strong. Is two or three days enough? Do most women appreciate guys calling soon to show interest in them? Thanksgiving is coming up and so I was thinking if I don't call her now, I will call her after that. Is that too late? Another question is since she gave me her number, is that mean she knows I want to ask her out and would probably want to go out? I'm assuming a girl wouldn't give out her number to a guy she just met unless she is interested in him, right?

 

Thanks in advance for all your comments.

 

[Carrie]

Definitely 2 days and wait no more than 3. If a guy waits too long (more than 3)it's a turn-off, especially if we really liked him. It makes us think that he wasn't excited enough to call us sooner. If a guy calls too soon (the day after meeting us) he comes across as needy and desperate.

 

As for her giving you her number, she wouldn't have if she wasn't even a little interested. Did she seem interested when you were talking to her? Did you guys have a good conversation? Did she smile as she was giving you the number or did she rush it? I would think she'd give you the 1 digit off number or would say, "I don't give out my number to strangers, but you can give me yours and I'll get in touch with you" if she wasn't interested. Unless she the type of girl that likes total strangers she's not interested in calling her. Either way, you'll know once you make the call.

 

Good luck and let us know what happens.

[Benny]

When she gave me her phone number, she was smiling and appeared to like the idea of me calling her. We were having a good time. In fact, someone asked me if she was my girlfriend at the party.

 

What do most women prefer for a first date? Dinner, lunch, or just coffee?

 

Which is better for a first date? Something to do together like dancing and we can have fun and laugh a lot, or just getting together to talk and get to know each other, like going to coffee.

 

Thanks again for everyone's help on this.

[BeenThere]

DINNER would be my suggestion! Easier to talk and really get aquainted with each other without noise and distractions. It's also really difficult to know what someone is really like until they are "sober." You could always do something together afterwards if all goes well and you're not ready to call it a night.

 

Of course, you could make the suggestion than ask her what she'd like to do and go from there.

 

I'm just as excited as you are! Hope it works! Would be great to finally read a *happy* post here!

 

Go get her!!!!!!!!!

When she gave me her phone number, she was smiling and appeared to like the idea of me calling her. We were having a good time. In fact, someone asked me if she was my girlfriend at the party.

 

What do most women prefer for a first date? Dinner, lunch, or just coffee? Which is better for a first date? Something to do together like dancing and we can have fun and laugh a lot, or just getting together to talk and get to know each other, like going to coffee.

 

Thanks again for everyone's help on this.

 

[Carrie]

I like coffee as a first date, around 1:00/2:00 in the afternoon on a Sat or Sun. After you have coffee and sit and talk, you can always go for a walk. I don't know where you live, but if there are any small shops near you, scenic view or maybe even a zoo or something. I find it fun to walk around and have topics of conversation like, "isn't that a nice shirt?" or "I love polar bears." It takes the pressure and total focus off each other so you won't be as nervous on the first date, plus you'll get to know little things they do and don't like, just by walking around in a store or something. It can also lead to other conversations and help it along.

[arthropod98]

gotta tell you, i don't envy you here!!

 

you are going to hear "wait a week", "wait 3 days", and just about everything else . . . so here's one more!! i wouldn't call the VERY next day, but probably the day after. everyone is different, and everyone RESPONDS differently too, so just go with your gut! i'm HOPING that you DID call her by now though, right??

 

are you comfortable in a one-on-one situation with someone you don't know very well?? if so, then i'd try for something "light", like a lunch. i've always had the mindset of not trying to SCARE someone that doesn't know me, so a nice daytime thing, with people around seems pretty good.

 

now, if you're NOT comfortable with the one-on-one thing, can you set something up with the people from the party, so you'll have a chance to talk to her again?? thing is, she may be a little put-off if you handle it this way, but just tell her you were nervous and didn't know the best, most comfortable way to go about seeing her again! just trying to avoid whatever might be an extremely awkward and difficult situation for you.

 

thing is though, you're going to be nervous no matter what, especially if you have an interest in her.

 

once again, don't envy you here, my friend . . . and GOOD LUCK!!!

I just met this girl at a party last Saturday. We had a good time. I got her phone number at the end of the night and I told her I will give her a call. My question is how long should I wait before calling her? I don't want to come on too strong. Is two or three days enough? Do most women appreciate guys calling soon to show interest in them? Thanksgiving is coming up and so I was thinking if I don't call her now, I will call her after that. Is that too late? Another question is since she gave me her number, is that mean she knows I want to ask her out and would probably want to go out? I'm assuming a girl wouldn't give out her number to a guy she just met unless she is interested in him, right?

 

Thanks in advance for all your comments.

 

[The Girl]

Make a special exception in this case. Thanksgiving is a good oppurtunity to call..just to wish her a happy Thanksgiving. Just my opinion..if I met a guy I liked right before a holiday, that holiday is a perfect time to recieve a phone call.

[Benny]

Everyone, thank you for all your response.

 

I called her but got the machine, so I left her a message and my phone number. It is possible she might already be gone for the Thanksgiving holiday. I intend to call her again if I don't hear from her by Sunday. What do you all think?

[BeenThere]

Keeping my fingers and toes crossed for ya Benny!!

Everyone, thank you for all your response.

 

I called her but got the machine, so I left her a message and my phone number. It is possible she might already be gone for the Thanksgiving holiday. I intend to call her again if I don't hear from her by Sunday. What do you all think?

 

[Carrie]

I'm proud of you. Good job.