smelly house

[HeyYouGuys]

My friend's sister's house smells like dog pee and baby upchuck and diapers. I don't think she realizes it because she lives there all the time. But last time we went over I nearly gagged on it. She is supposed to have a dinner party there in the near future and I can't imagine being able to get through it. How do you eat when the house smells like dog pee and baby upchuck and diapers? I mean, it's BAD. It's not like my house is always perfect. I have dogs too. But I do try to open the windows, use Febreeze and vaccuum constantly to keep the house from smelling like a dog. So what do I say?????

[Pink Amulet]

Tell her house smells....

 

Haha okay seriously... does she have a birthday coming up? Maybe you could pay for a cleaner to come in and de-smell the house! Give her a gift certificate!

 

If you think she might be offended by this just say you had them come in to your house, and "they did miracles!". Just act as though you want to spread the love.

[jerbear]

P_A has a good suggestion.

 

Gift Cert to house cleaning and desanitization. Just don't get her a package, more like a value or the second to lowest package.

[Tony T]

I would type an anonymous not and put it in the mail to them. Be very nice and positive about it but let them know their odorous house could cause health problems and also cause comments to fly and multiply in the town.

 

People who live with a constant odor or a particular noice adapt to it over time and they don't realize it usually. It's actually an adaptive mechanism in the brain that does it. That's why you'll have to be convincing in the letter.

 

Ask them, in your anonymous letter, to get a third party to come over and give them an HONEST evaluation. I can almost smell their place in my imagination and I wouldn't have a picnic in their yard much less stay in their house. Whether you realize it or not, there are most likely bacteria and micro-organisms hanging around there that could kill.

 

YUK!

 

If they won't clean the place up, don't go to the party. Take charge of your life. Don't do things you don't want to do and don't hesitate to tell them exactly why you didn't go...in a nice way.

 

The gift certificate for a cleaning is nice but these people have got to learn to keep their own place clean, especially before visitors.

[Fun2BMe]

I went to a friends a few weeks ago and the house had the same diaper dog smell you describe. As soon as I walked in I said gross it stinks in here and walked back out. She ended up putting the dog in the garage and opening up windows and thanked me for telling her, saying she's used to the smell and can't tell. She was going to call a housekeeper and was both embarassed yet more relieved at the same time that I told her.

 

I'm not sure an anonymous letter is a good idea. It might upset her and stress her out trying to figure out who sent it.

[a4a]

If it is in the subflooring it may never come out! :sick:

 

I have 8 dogs in my house and 2 cats/ a indoor outdoor pig and a chicken...... my house does not stink.

All hardwood floors, central vac, and bleach goes a long way.

 

Carpet even without pets is disgusting...... :sick:

 

Also if you do offer to clean her rugs/ sanatize don't forget to get the dog washed :lmao: and chuck the dirty diapers out of the house!

 

Just because she has a dog does not mean her house should stink.

 

and holy smokes people if I got outdoors and have a cig before I do so, I sure as hell can smell it when I come back inside...... how could someone not smell their own stanky house .. .... unless they never leave it?

 

Hell I can smell the friggin bananas on my counter right now..... suckers got little brown spots starting........ trash time for them!

 

you can try some Natures Miracle or something similar as well. But my guess is the subfloor has been tainted already if it is that bad

 

Tell her that her house stinks in a nice way. Offer some solutions.

 

BTW pick up the dog crap in the yard so it does not waft into the house either.

[basscatcher]

I'm blunt. When I walk into my friends house I will tell them straight out that something smells and I will tell her what it smells like.

Sometimes her response is she is offended but she will soon thank me for telling her because she says she smells it all day and sometimes doesn't leave the house so she can't recognize it when she walks in the door.

 

I get like that with garbage in my kitchen. If I toss old food in there and don't take it out the same day by the next day it is stinking... I can smell it when I go out and come back in...

[Buttaflyy]

I'm blunt. When I walk into my friends house I will tell them straight out that something smells and I will tell her what it smells like.

Sometimes her response is she is offended but she will soon thank me for telling her because she says she smells it all day and sometimes doesn't leave the house so she can't recognize it when she walks in the door.

 

I get like that with garbage in my kitchen. If I toss old food in there and don't take it out the same day by the next day it is stinking... I can smell it when I go out and come back in...

 

Exactly Pada;) ! If she is a friend, why not just mention that you smell something. Be nice about it, tell her that it happens to everybody. You mentioned that she is a sister of a friend (I think?), has anyone discussed this with the sister? Maybe she can tell her.

 

It would be much more embarrassing IMO to have a party and everyone is gagging and not eating.

 

I had a friend who's mother's house was a complete mess. This woman was well aware that her house was plain nasty! Smelly, dirty, and hazardous to the children who lived there. My friend also lived there at the time and would invite friends over. We always refused and evenually told her why. We told her that we would help her clean one time and it was up to them to keep it that way. We did it, and they continued to be slobs. We never visited there. We'd meet my friend outside.

[a4a]

No! Don't do it! Make banana bread!!!

 

Too late gave em to the pig and the horses.........

[Pink Amulet]

Oh I reread it- it is actually her "friends sister" so these comments might not be appreciated and the gift certificate might be out of place...

 

Why don't you just stop visiting?

[MarnieGirl]

my ex-boyfriend's sister's house smelled raunch as well. it smelled like animals (though she had none) and garbage, combined with that lovely smell that stale smoke leaves baked into furniture. it reeked. plus, try being pregnant and trying to stomach all that, not to mention whatever she was bludgeoning, i mean, cooking, in the kitchen. ugh. i ended up just making excuses for when he would spend time there, because i simply couldn't.

 

then she moved into a new house, yay! but it still smelled bad! i realize it just must be her and her stuff, because the house smelled the same exact way. unless she started totally over with new furniture and all that jazz, i don't think it would help.

 

i wasn't with this dude for very much longer. good thing too, he moved in with her shortly after.

 

i feel for you, i really do.

[a4a]

Oh I reread it- it is actually her "friends sister" so these comments might not be appreciated and the gift certificate might be out of place...

 

Why don't you just stop visiting?

 

ohhhh...... well the sister could tell her???

 

and yes I would tell my sister it is just too gross to hang out there let alone eat a meal.. nasty......

 

maybe she could pass it on to the friend with some tact?

[Guest]

...

 

Why don't you just stop visiting?

 

I really love my friend and her sister both. They're both a lot of fun. With a new baby, it's hard for her to get out and if I don't visit her, I probably won't see her. I'd also see less of my friend who is over there A LOT.

 

Her sister has been a bit depressed, postpartum, and perhaps this is why the house is trashed all the time. Her husband works two jobs to support them. Money has been a big issue.

 

I think offering to clean her house might be the way to go. I don't think an anonymous letter would fly really well. She'd get really paranoid about which nosy neighbor dropped the note. She is very sensitive and gets hurt easily.

 

I've been thinking next time I'm over I might just say casually, "hey, you really need some fresh air in here. It smells stale"

 

I will offer to do the housecleaning before the party.

 

Unfortunately, I think some rugs and cushions really need to be thrown away. There is no saving them.

 

They don't have a lot of money to replace stuff.

 

 

I'd like to be at the party because I like everyone who's invited and I enjoy socializing.

[whichwayisup]

My friend's sister's house smells like dog pee and baby upchuck and diapers. I don't think she realizes it because she lives there all the time. But last time we went over I nearly gagged on it. She is supposed to have a dinner party there in the near future and I can't imagine being able to get through it. How do you eat when the house smells like dog pee and baby upchuck and diapers? I mean, it's BAD. It's not like my house is always perfect. I have dogs too. But I do try to open the windows, use Febreeze and vaccuum constantly to keep the house from smelling like a dog. So what do I say?????

 

Is her birthday coming up soon? Might be something to consider, tell her that you're hiring a maid service to come clean her house, spic and span! Poof! Her house will be clean and smell better.

 

Maybe that would be enough to get her to notice HOW nice the house is when it's cleaned up and smelling fresh.

 

By doing this, she doesn't have to know that you think her house smells gross. And by offering to pay a cleaning service to come to her house, it's a positive thing - Like "I know you don't have alot of time to clean, so I thought you'd love this..." That way it comes off as a nice thing, rather than, yuk your house smells!

[Fun2BMe]

Is her birthday coming up soon? Might be something to consider, tell her that you're hiring a maid service to come clean her house, spic and span! Poof! Her house will be clean and smell better.

 

Maybe that would be enough to get her to notice HOW nice the house is when it's cleaned up and smelling fresh.

 

By doing this, she doesn't have to know that you think her house smells gross. And by offering to pay a cleaning service to come to her house, it's a positive thing - Like "I know you don't have alot of time to clean, so I thought you'd love this..." That way it comes off as a nice thing, rather than, yuk your house smells!

I don't think that will work. Read what Buttaflyy wrote. They cleaned her friend's mom's house and poof it got stinky all over again, let alone if you clean it without telling them you think it stinks. She has to be told because after a while she can get used to the smell and not notice it. The friend who I told had a stinky house has a maid come in every day and it was still stinky because the diapers add up and she has a lot of pets so she appreciated I told her and now uses some sprays and scented candles, empties the trash more often and lets the dog out for longer periods.

[Buttaflyy]

I really love my friend and her sister both. They're both a lot of fun. With a new baby, it's hard for her to get out and if I don't visit her, I probably won't see her. I'd also see less of my friend who is over there A LOT.

 

Her sister has been a bit depressed, postpartum, and perhaps this is why the house is trashed all the time. Her husband works two jobs to support them. Money has been a big issue.

 

I think offering to clean her house might be the way to go. I don't think an anonymous letter would fly really well. She'd get really paranoid about which nosy neighbor dropped the note. She is very sensitive and gets hurt easily.

 

I've been thinking next time I'm over I might just say casually, "hey, you really need some fresh air in here. It smells stale"

 

I will offer to do the housecleaning before the party.

 

Unfortunately, I think some rugs and cushions really need to be thrown away. There is no saving them.

 

They don't have a lot of money to replace stuff.

 

 

I'd like to be at the party because I like everyone who's invited and I enjoy socializing.

 

This is what I would do! And you're right. Anyone would be paranoid by an anonymous note. The point might even be missed. Help her clean before the party. Throw out what needs to be trashed and hopefully she'll keep it up. If she doesn't you should let her know that it's starting to smell again. You should never leave dirty diapers in the house BTW, and if you do, they have something called a Diaper Genie which contains bad odors. Also, FEBREEZE really works miracles!

[collegegirl23]

I would create a sort of a con and let a vacuum salesman visit their house. of course i hired this guy to act as one. once they come face to face with each other, he will do the usual blabber and start talking about the new vacuum their company is selling and if she wants a free demonstration. afterwhich he will make side comments (in a discreet way) that the vacuum is just right with this kind of "environment" their house has. after this maybe your friend's sister will get a hint and start realizing what a pain in the nose their house is.

[a4a]

I really love my friend and her sister both. They're both a lot of fun. With a new baby, it's hard for her to get out and if I don't visit her, I probably won't see her. I'd also see less of my friend who is over there A LOT.

 

Her sister has been a bit depressed, postpartum, and perhaps this is why the house is trashed all the time. Her husband works two jobs to support them. Money has been a big issue.

 

I think offering to clean her house might be the way to go. I don't think an anonymous letter would fly really well. She'd get really paranoid about which nosy neighbor dropped the note. She is very sensitive and gets hurt easily.

 

I've been thinking next time I'm over I might just say casually, "hey, you really need some fresh air in here. It smells stale"

 

I will offer to do the housecleaning before the party.

 

Unfortunately, I think some rugs and cushions really need to be thrown away. There is no saving them.

 

They don't have a lot of money to replace stuff.

 

 

I'd like to be at the party because I like everyone who's invited and I enjoy socializing.

 

You know why don't you do it this way...........

 

Say a couple of friends get together and send her to a spa for a day.... send the baby to a sitter etc.... you all get together and call the carpet cleaners and clean her house before the party.

 

Tell her: We think that you have been so busy being a Mom you need a day off we want you to have one day all to yourself to enjoy. That way it will not be about the stink but about being a good friend to her.

[sugarplum]

Does she have central air and have the place closed up all the time? I mean can you get her to open some windows and let some fresh air in?

 

Febreeze. Spray it when she's not looking!

 

These have been some good ideas. When you have a new baby and pet (that apparently isn't trained, or is ill, or something) it can be so easy to get overwhelmed. I have several pets and I get paranoid about it, so many times when someone comes over I flat out ask if the house reeks!

[Guest]

"I have several pets and I get paranoid about it, so many times when someone comes over I flat out ask if the house reeks!"

 

LOL! That's me. I just got a dog, and she's house broken, buy I'm still paranoid about that dog smell. So i just flat out ask people.

 

But here is my advice. Just be honest. In a tactful way. Just say that you know she's busy with the baby, and she's doing everything alone and might be overwhelmed, but that her house smells. And help her get it together. It would be embarassing at first, but as long as you don't make a HUGE deal out of it, she'll be alright. I would want a friend to tell me if my house reeked, rather than suffer in silence, or never come over again.

[Mary3]

Exactly Pada;) ! If she is a friend, why not just mention that you smell something. Be nice about it, tell her that it happens to everybody. You mentioned that she is a sister of a friend (I think?), has anyone discussed this with the sister? Maybe she can tell her.

 

It would be much more embarrassing IMO to have a party and everyone is gagging and not eating.

 

I had a friend who's mother's house was a complete mess. This woman was well aware that her house was plain nasty! Smelly, dirty, and hazardous to the children who lived there. My friend also lived there at the time and would invite friends over. We always refused and evenually told her why. We told her that we would help her clean one time and it was up to them to keep it that way. We did it, and they continued to be slobs. We never visited there. We'd meet my friend outside.

 

 

Those who live in extreme filth where there are decaying foods and dishes and dog poop in the bath tub have a medical condition. ( Its called SLOB ,. lol )

No really, there is a mental illness where people live in horrid dirty conditions and even if you clean their house it gets disgusting again.

That person needs counseling and updating to keep their home halfway decent. Can't think of the name of the medical condition.

[Guest]

Those who live in extreme filth where there are decaying foods and dishes and dog poop in the bath tub have a medical condition. ( Its called SLOB ,. lol )

No really, there is a mental illness where people live in horrid dirty conditions and even if you clean their house it gets disgusting again.

That person needs counseling and updating to keep their home halfway decent. Can't think of the name of the medical condition.

 

 

Yes, I know what you mean. Some people have OCD, where they hoard old newspapers, string, garbage until the house is just filled with it. And some people with extreme depression or Azheimer's also live in complete filth.

 

My sister's friend is not that bad. I mean, the house is not covered with dog feces and she doesn't leave crusty food plates lying around. The baby isn't neglected or filthy and it's not like flies are buzzing around. It just smells like dog pee (which I don't think she smells because she is around it all day) and it's hard to see dog pee if you don't catch the dog doing it.

 

Also dirty diaper smell can accumulate when a diaper pail isn't emptied often enough, I guess.

 

The smell has more to do with her not being aware, I think. Or just not having enough time to thoroughly clean.

 

But she's not mentally ill.

[Outcast]

Yes, I know what you mean. Some people have OCD, where they hoard old newspapers, string, garbage until the house is just filled with it

 

I just saw a story where the psych community is starting to think that it's not OCD at all but a separate condition since it doesn't really respond to OCD treatments. However, I seriously doubt this lady has a hoarding condition - it's just that she's gotten used to the smell and doesn't realize that it's obvious to others.

[Fun2BMe]

I agree that hoarding isn't related to OCD. Dr. Phil had a show recently where a man (he was a former city counsil member and currently a school principal) hoarded so much that there was no more room left for his family in their four bedroom house. He bought a trailer and crammed his wife and teenage children into it because he couldn't throw anything out to make room. Dr. Phil never referred to it as OCD. Instead he digged into what could cause it.

 

He started hoarding after the death of his father he took so hard and used objects to fill that void. He felt each item had a piece of history that relalted to an experience he had with it and throwing it out would be a like a piece of him dying. He held on to the junk like it was his life and his famiy was ready to leave him. He also used that behavior to control and tell his family who was in charge. He knew how much they hated his junk and it was a message that he could do whatever he wanted to and even chose the junk over them to 'live' in the house while cramming them into a tiny trailer.

[Mary3]

I agree that hoarding isn't related to OCD. Dr. Phil had a show recently where a man (he was a former city counsil member and currently a school principal) hoarded so much that there was no more room left for his family in their four bedroom house. He bought a trailer and crammed his wife and teenage children into it because he couldn't throw anything out to make room. Dr. Phil never referred to it as OCD. Instead he digged into what could cause it.

 

He started hoarding after the death of his father he took so hard and used objects to fill that void. He felt each item had a piece of history that relalted to an experience he had with it and throwing it out would be a like a piece of him dying. He held on to the junk like it was his life and his famiy was ready to leave him. He also used that behavior to control and tell his family who was in charge. He knew how much they hated his junk and it was a message that he could do whatever he wanted to and even chose the junk over them to 'live' in the house while cramming them into a tiny trailer.

 

Great Post I have heard they are literally * terrified * to thrown anything out. I think I would be *terrified*after seeing a 3 week old box of pizza drawing ants sitting on the counter....