I need help

[Jimmy]

My friends sister and I have liked each other for the longest time. I finally asked her out and I was so happy when she said yes. I hung out with her on Thursday and I know she wanted me to kiss her but I couldn't do it for some reason. On Friday I think I killed her interest in me because I acted like a fool. I didn't do it on purpose, I've been so stressed over college and my father recently had surgey to have a tumor removed from his neck which didn't go as planned and he has to have another operation in coming months. I hung out with her until about 4 in the morning and then when I was leaving I told her to call me on Sunday and I stupidly said unles you want to be mean to me and she was like ##### You and flipped me off, I don't know if she was joking or not. Now she didn't call me on Sunday so I tried calling her around 7 at night but she wasn't home. I didn't call her on Monday and then on Tuesday I called around 5pm and she wasn't there again. I want to tell her how much I feel for her and that I have been stressed out lately and that's why I've been so abrupt on being an idiot but I can't even get ahold of her anymore. On Saturday she went clubbing with some of her friends and because she's not home at the usual times that she is I'm thinking she met someone either at work or at one of the clubs and now she's blowing me off for not kissing her on Thursday and then acting like an idiot on Friday. I don't know what to do, I am so confused over what she is doing. She said she liked so much but then she pulls this stunt and now I'm beginning to think she has lost total interest in me. I like her so much but she seems to not want to give me a chance. What should I do?

[arthropod98]

sorry, not getting the "flip-off" incident here . . . what exactly did you say to her??

 

well, she was probably excited because it seemed like things may have been sort of "starting" with you two, and then you made your comment . . . she was probably hurt!

 

have you left her a message when you called?? i think she needs an explanation of what happened, but you also can't be chasing her around like an idiot trying to give her that.

 

now, i'm saying this based on what i THINK was said, so i could be WAY off here!

 

don't worry about the not-kissing thing . . . you didn't, and that's that!! sometimes it's the right thing to do, and sometimes it's not -- you just don't always know!

My friends sister and I have liked each other for the longest time. I finally asked her out and I was so happy when she said yes. I hung out with her on Thursday and I know she wanted me to kiss her but I couldn't do it for some reason. On Friday I think I killed her interest in me because I acted like a fool. I didn't do it on purpose, I've been so stressed over college and my father recently had surgey to have a tumor removed from his neck which didn't go as planned and he has to have another operation in coming months. I hung out with her until about 4 in the morning and then when I was leaving I told her to call me on Sunday and I stupidly said unles you want to be mean to me and she was like ##### You and flipped me off, I don't know if she was joking or not. Now she didn't call me on Sunday so I tried calling her around 7 at night but she wasn't home. I didn't call her on Monday and then on Tuesday I called around 5pm and she wasn't there again. I want to tell her how much I feel for her and that I have been stressed out lately and that's why I've been so abrupt on being an idiot but I can't even get ahold of her anymore. On Saturday she went clubbing with some of her friends and because she's not home at the usual times that she is I'm thinking she met someone either at work or at one of the clubs and now she's blowing me off for not kissing her on Thursday and then acting like an idiot on Friday. I don't know what to do, I am so confused over what she is doing. She said she liked so much but then she pulls this stunt and now I'm beginning to think she has lost total interest in me. I like her so much but she seems to not want to give me a chance. What should I do?

[Ed]

Hey! You goofed up! So what!

 

This is how you learn NOT to act...by goofing up. Don't worry about her or what she is doing. Try to think of someone else you can practice on and ask her to go out with you. Just keep pluggin' away. Laugh at your own mistakes, but try not make the same mistake more than a few times.

 

Good Luck!

[Jimmy]

I just told her to call me on Sunday and then I was joking around and said "Unless you want to be mean" and then she said ##### you and flipped me off, I don't know if she was joking or not. I have talked to her sister when I call her place and I tell her to give the message to her and call me but she never does. I can't get ahold of her to tell her my feelings and now I think she has lost interest in me.

sorry, not getting the "flip-off" incident here . . . what exactly did you say to her?? well, she was probably excited because it seemed like things may have been sort of "starting" with you two, and then you made your comment . . . she was probably hurt! have you left her a message when you called?? i think she needs an explanation of what happened, but you also can't be chasing her around like an idiot trying to give her that. now, i'm saying this based on what i THINK was said, so i could be WAY off here! don't worry about the not-kissing thing . . . you didn't, and that's that!! sometimes it's the right thing to do, and sometimes it's not -- you just don't always know!

[Tony T]

Just stay cool. Leave her a phone message to call you and then just forget it.

 

If it makes you feel any better, a lot of people act like idiots with no reason at all.

 

You have to understand that everybody's different and some people may not be so flexible in their thinking to overlook some of your strange words or behavior. Telling this lady why you've been stressed out would be nice but most of the world doesn't really care.

 

If she's met someone else, don't worry. That was supposed to happen. Stop worrying and stressing about things which are out of your control and start being happy in your life. Until you are back in the happy zone, it's not likely people will want to be around you very much. That's just the way many people are.

 

Only your very best friends will put up with you when you're stressed out and weird.

 

Maybe it's better that you don't see this girl until you're in a better frame of mind.

[Jimmy]

How do I fix my goof when I can't even get ahold of her to tell her my feelings. I wish she understood the stress I have had in the past month, but I think she is blowing me off because of the way I was acting. I like her too much to lose her.

Hey! You goofed up! So what! This is how you learn NOT to act...by goofing up. Don't worry about her or what she is doing. Try to think of someone else you can practice on and ask her to go out with you. Just keep pluggin' away. Laugh at your own mistakes, but try not make the same mistake more than a few times. Good Luck!

[arthropod98]

well, if that was it, i don't quite understand her reaction. unless i'm missing something, i don't see why something like that would generate such a response. BUT, i wasn't the one HEARING it, so who knows!

 

sounds like there's just not much more you can do here. you don't want to be chasing her all around trying to explain yourself. if you see her again, see how things go then . . . but i'd leave it alone for now.

I just told her to call me on Sunday and then I was joking around and said "Unless you want to be mean" and then she said ##### you and flipped me off, I don't know if she was joking or not. I have talked to her sister when I call her place and I tell her to give the message to her and call me but she never does. I can't get ahold of her to tell her my feelings and now I think she has lost interest in me.

[Ed]

The sad fact is, you can't always fix things when you goof up.

 

I remember one time I wanted to clean the heads on my VCR. So I get a Q-Tip® and some alcohol and I start cleaning. After I got through, I played a tape and it was more messed up than it was before I tried to fix it. I messed up somehow and my VCR never forgave me. I had to throw it away and get a new one. The moral of the story is...you can't always fix things.

 

I really liked that VCR too.

 

How do I fix my goof when I can't even get ahold of her to tell her my feelings. I wish she understood the stress I have had in the past month, but I think she is blowing me off because of the way I was acting. I like her too much to lose her.

[Carrie]

Have you tried asking your friend? He knows her better than anybody.

 

What did you do to act like a fool? Were you goofy? Did you say stupid things? Were you quiet and non-talkative, maybe giving her the impression you weren't interested? If you acted uninterested, it's kind of a big let down, especially when she was anticipating this date or getting to know you for so long.

 

But being a girl, I've felt that way before about a guy. He's disapointed me and I've gotten turned off. I would suggest not chasing her. Now it's important to play it cool. If you were showing a lack of interest in her on the date, have your friend explain to her that it's because you have other things on your mind and it definitely wasn't her, it was just probably not a good time to have a first date. If you chase her too much, she's really going to lose interest. Remember it's the anticipation and the waiting that has built up your interests in each other - and the always wondering how the other felt. You chase her or act too desperate, it will all go out the window. A phone call and leaving a message is just fine. Then don't call her again. By the way, what did you do or say to her that would make her swear & give you the finger? It sounds like she really might be angry. She may even have been home, but has been blowing off your calls (sorry, but it may be true) because maybe she's now unsure of her feelings or she may be just plain angry. Just give her a few days to think things over, she may come around. If you're worried that she's met someone so soon, then do you really want someone who can change feelings that quickly.... shallow.

 

If you've got her email address, send her an email explaining how you feel and why you acted the way you acted. If you don't have her e-address, get it from your friend. If this girl really likes you, she'll give you a chance, especially if you have a good reason. It might all be a misunderstanding and she may just be super sensitive.

 

Anyway, good luck and I hope things work out.

[Jimmy]

My friend works 3rd shift right now for a month so I don't want to bother him if he is sleeping. As for acting like a fool I know I did because she was being really quiet and she acted very distant, I was saying stupid things and being a sarcastic spazz. I am so nervous around her because i like her so much that I catch myself acting uninterested when I really am interested. She kind of knew me already because I hang out with her brother and I'm always over their house on the weekends so I'm good friends with their family, but it's the fact that she's my friends sister and I view their family in a totally different perspective now. She has dated some jerks in the past and I feel that because of the way I acted she saw me as being just like them. I just want to tell her the issues I have been having this whole crappy month that have stressed me out and made me such a spazz but I can't get ahold of her. She used to always be at home most of her time but now it seems she is always out and about with her friends. As for the finger incident, I was joking with her because she was acting distant and I told her to call me on Sunday and then I said "Unless you want to be mean to me." and then she was like ##### you and flipped me off, but I don't know if she was joking or not. Then she didn't call on Sunday and I figured she lost interest in me because of how I acted on Friday. So now I'm in this low slump because she hasn't called or even tried to talk to me.

Have you tried asking your friend? He knows her better than anybody. What did you do to act like a fool? Were you goofy? Did you say stupid things? Were you quiet and non-talkative, maybe giving her the impression you weren't interested? If you acted uninterested, it's kind of a big let down, especially when she was anticipating this date or getting to know you for so long. But being a girl, I've felt that way before about a guy. He's disapointed me and I've gotten turned off. I would suggest not chasing her. Now it's important to play it cool. If you were showing a lack of interest in her on the date, have your friend explain to her that it's because you have other things on your mind and it definitely wasn't her, it was just probably not a good time to have a first date. If you chase her too much, she's really going to lose interest. Remember it's the anticipation and the waiting that has built up your interests in each other - and the always wondering how the other felt. You chase her or act too desperate, it will all go out the window. A phone call and leaving a message is just fine. Then don't call her again. By the way, what did you do or say to her that would make her swear & give you the finger? It sounds like she really might be angry. She may even have been home, but has been blowing off your calls (sorry, but it may be true) because maybe she's now unsure of her feelings or she may be just plain angry. Just give her a few days to think things over, she may come around. If you're worried that she's met someone so soon, then do you really want someone who can change feelings that quickly.... shallow.

 

If you've got her email address, send her an email explaining how you feel and why you acted the way you acted. If you don't have her e-address, get it from your friend. If this girl really likes you, she'll give you a chance, especially if you have a good reason. It might all be a misunderstanding and she may just be super sensitive. Anyway, good luck and I hope things work out.