sirjay Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 what do people think about this? opinions please! Recap: My ex of 3 years broke up with me 4 months ago. A lot of mixed messages, wanted to be "best friends", maybe get back together, doesnt want to get back together, give it some NC shes really hurt etc. I am confused about it, think she is too, know we love each other, but she needed me to make changes which i have, bigtime. Anyway, 6 weeks ago i said i couldnt be friends only and broke off all contact. she broke nc a week or so back, tentatively, and i replied in a friendly way. she sent me a mail right back being really nice, said she was really busy for a bit but "speak though" - it was typed wrong so not sure what it was supposed to mean but thought: we'll speak soon though. She had suggested we do 2-3 months NC and then get back in touch and "see how it goes". Not sure where she stands with it now but since i have tacitly agreed not to break off connection completely now, assuming she is still thinking this? that timescale would put us back in touch in august which is when the work she is busy with finishes up so i think thats what she was thinking: to have some space for the summer, focus on work and then see where we are at. does that interpretation make sense? its my birthday soon and i am going to be really hurt if she doesnt at least send me a text. i am not hassling her at all or anything at the mo and giving her all the space she wants but i did give her birthday presents after we broke up and i dont think its much to expect... Link to post Share on other sites
rkman Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 In prepation... They usually send you a short and sweet message. I believe the generally accepted version is: Hey, just wanted to wish you Happy Birthday, hope you have fun! -hername The generally accepted reply is: Thanks Of course I'm just bulls***ting but that's usually how it plays out. Link to post Share on other sites
jmars Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 It's not too much to expect. If nothing else, you can use it as a gauge. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sirjay Posted July 5, 2006 Author Share Posted July 5, 2006 Well, its turned out to be interesting.... she didn't send me a happy birthday message and in the end, i texted her myself. the dialogue went like this: me- you are my best friend in the world and the one person i was hoping to get a happy birthday from her- sorry. ididnt think you would have wanted me to. i had remembered anyway. happy birthday me - what made you think that? her- dont know. didnt think we were really speaking to each other like that [i guess because i had told her i wanted to cut off contact entirely. it was her that broke NC] me- i dont know either. its all been very confusing. i know you were right that we needed space apart and i needed to be single and find myself again. i accept that you wont give me a chance to make things right and thats cool. it doesnt stop me missing talking and hanging out though. her- of course. me too. take care. speak soon. I don't accept that we dont deserve another chance at all but chasing her to fix things up didnt work and i guess thats the only way i will get a chance to show her the new me. i am hoping that friendship is a route back to doing things properly. i know she is still missing me after 4 months anyway so i feel good about that. soooo... i know she is super busy with work at the moment and i infer that she is going to get back in touch when she has completed this project. if it was just going to be a quick "hi" then i dont see a reason to wait so that seems like a good thing to me. i still feel like the relationship could be reborn and much better now i have moved cities and got my life together. what do people think? Link to post Share on other sites
garnet Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 There may be a chance...but she knows exactly where you stand now and the ball is squarely in her court. I wouldn't contact her again, wait for her to initiate. In the meantime, keep enjoying your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sirjay Posted July 5, 2006 Author Share Posted July 5, 2006 i think you are right, i had decided to leave it to her from now. i just wanted a chance to let her know that i wasnt still with my ex and that i did still want to get back in touch. i mean, she doesnt know where i stand really because i do still want her back but i guess i have to play the game, much as i dislike it. the main thing is to get back in touch again after this NC and we both want that so... Link to post Share on other sites
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