We are in contact, but I feel he should initiate!

[Guest]

My boyfriend and I have been broken up for almost 2 months after a year together. Well, he misses me and wants to fix things so that he can date me again. We were together for almost a year and he broke up with me because he seemed too stressed out and was confused about his feelings for me. He didnt say he didn't love me, he said he was stressed with life and was unsure. He told me before that he was in love with me, but then things in his life put a strain on him and he began to question his feelings. He seems to be going through a really hard time. Well, he began to miss me and wanted to be able to date me again. I have no idea what in the world he means by wanting to fix things, because he is the one who is stressed and needs to learn to balance things out. I think that we will get back together after he sorts his life out but I am unsure of what to do now because he told me he wanted me to call him sometimes and not him calling me all the time. I am so confused about what I should do because when he broke up with me he requested space to be able to sort out everything. I don't know if I should call him or not. BUT then again, I am afraid this will jeopardize our chances of getting back together if I don't call him. He really wants to keep in touch with me and get back together, as he has confirmed, but I don't know about the contact situation. I told him I didn't know about contacting him because of his request for space and he got really defensive and said something like "If you think space means no contact whatsoever, then that is not what I want!" Help!!

[tearful_soul22]

Give it some time and let him figure out what he really needs. No need to rush, just try to be a little bit more supportive. Maybe he's just a commitment phobic. But whatever it is, give him some space as he'd requested. Take care and good luck to you!

[Guest]

Give it some time and let him figure out what he really needs. No need to rush, just try to be a little bit more supportive. Maybe he's just a commitment phobic. But whatever it is, give him some space as he'd requested. Take care and good luck to you!

 

Hello there...thank you for your input. I greatly appreciate it. I wanted to share something with you too. I wrote him a letter explaining how I felt. He hasn't responded yet, but I wanted to see what you guys thought. I really hope I didn't screw anything up with this letter either. *crosses fingers*

 

Hello Dominic,

 

I feel it is time for me to talk to you about where our relationship is going. Okay, well we have been broken up for about a month and two weeks. I respect your decision to end our relationship because you obviously felt you couldn't handle it. Well, I can't handle what is going on now. I have tried my hardest to be patient with you and show you I am willing to wait for you until you can get your life sorted out. It appears to me that you have it sorted out...with everyone else involved. Remember I said I was confused...well I am REALLY confused because you seem to be able to make a lot of time for everyone else. You claim to want to "crawl in a hole, away from everyone....and no one understands." Those are your exact words from my letter. You know, you say you are trying to "balance" friends and things, well I don't understand what you are talking about. David told me (haha, ya, DAVID TOLD ME) that you said you wanted to work everything out and get our relationship back to the wonderful thing we had. Is this true? Because if it is...what in the world is going on? If this is true, I surely don't believe it, because if this was true, I would think you would be willing to tell ME, instead of David. I am more than willing to work everything out, but there is nothing I can do to help the situation. All of this was your decision. You are the one with the problems. You must be strong and sort them out before we can get our relationship back on track. Now, from what I have been told, you have been working on this. Congrats to you!! I hope it is going great for you! If this isn't true, you need to tell me so I can stop relying on false hope. I have learned so much from this heartbreaking experience, but I cannot keep dangling from a string. I can have any man I want (believe me, I shoo them off everyday! It really gets on my nerves!), but yet I choose you. I choose you because you have a good heart, Dominic. You are a wonderful and beautiful person, inside and out. You were able to see me for the person I am , not just the external beauty that many men tend to see from me. Don't you ever let anyone make you feel otherwise. You deserve to know you are a worthy person. I know you hate to talk about this kind of stuff, but it is necessary if you want us to rekindle what we had. You know I love you and love is patient and is kind. Sound familiar?? I have done all that I know to do. For one, I have definitely worked on my perception of things and changed my attitude. I have waited anxiously and patiently for you. You asked for space, and you got space. You cannot say I have crowded you in any way, because you yourself even said that you had not been talking to me because you felt as if you had hurt me. Well Dominic, I have been hurt. I had never experienced a heartbreak, but now I can say I have, and it is the worst feeling I have ever had. I seriously wished I would die because I was so devastated. I prayed to Jesus for him to just take my soul and stop this hurting. But you know what? He shared something very special with me. He explained to me the reason he did this. I am sorry that I cannot share this with you, but it is a very personal and spiritual reason, but maybe someday I can. You see, I am also a very spiritual person, Dominic. I say spiritual because religious doesn't reach the depth of my faith. A lot of people do not see this because I am labeled the "slut" or "whore" and because I am very unique, but you know what? I surely pray for those people because they are very "lost" and I know I don't have to prove my worth to anyone. I am glad he didn't answer that prayer because I have surely learned from all of this. Don't you dare feel bad about what I just said either, because that is the past! The PAST!!!! I am pressing forward. If you want to rekindle our relationship , you must forgive and PRESS forward!! Does this sound familiar?? Forgiveness and pressing forward are very powerful and spiritual concepts. I do not have the least bit of resentment towards you and I still love you as much as the day I started loving you, but I do feel as if you should get things straight in your life if you want to fix things (not only with our relationship, but with your life in general). You keep thinking that I am mad at you or that I hate you or my family hates you. GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD!!...............it is not true! Oh yeah, you also seem to think that I hate everyone that you associate with, well that is not true at all either. I want you to have friends, bunches and bunches of them. I don't care if they are black, white, girl, boy, imaginary or not!! Gosh! Everyone thinks that I am like all the rest!! They think that I am the "possessive girlfriend" who is ready to kill anyone who comes near her man. That is not true at all!! I am not saying that me and you have to jump right back into the girlfriend-boyfriend relationship thing either....I know that it won't happen like that. It didn't even happen like that in the first place. You and I had to build up something in order to get started. Well I am ready for a fresh start! How about you?? I also want to share this with you....maybe it will help your confusion about your feelings. This is actually something I found in a book! Talk about a coinkidink! Here goes:

Yes, your life with your partner should include plenty of romance. But don't kid yourself and expect an unrealistic Hollywood fairytale. The truth is that in the real world, being in love is not like falling in love.

 

Falling in love is only the first stage of love. It's impossible to remain in that stage. A mature relationship will shift from dizzying infatuation to a deeper, more secure love.

 

Don't make the common mistake of thinking that when the initial wild passion fades you aren't in love anymore. The answer is not to start a new relationship so you can recapture that emotional high with someone else. The answer is to learn how to move on to the next stages of love for a different but richer experience.

We have to work TOGETHER, Dominic, to bring life back into our relationship. I am willing...are you?? Please tell me how you feel. I just want to know if we have a chance in the future. I am not saying it will be easy, but please don't give up. You may write me back or call me if you wish. Until then just make yourself happy. If you cannot be happy, no one around you can.

 

Much love always,

 

xxxxxxxxxxx