Girlfriend's past, I'm struggling here..

[MarkWarner2006]

Hi, Ill keep it brief. Met a girl 5 months ago who is great fun and seems to be really into me. Everythings ok in the bedroom, in fact its great but, (and this is a big but), we had the sexual history conversation 3 nights ago and my brain is fried. Im not the most moral of people but what my girlfriend told me has made me look at her slightly differently. She told me that several years ago she had a ' gang bang' with four guys, one of whom was her partner at the time. She told me that they were all at it for 9 hours and in her words 'filthy.'

 

Now before you start pasting me here for being concerned and weak, I am, and I cant help it. Im shocked. I havent told her Im shocked of course but Im feeling a little (and I hate to say this word) 'repulsed.' Thinking of four guys with my woman and her loving it has knocked my brain out of gear slightly.

 

Im posting this as I want to know is it normal what Im feeling or am I being jealous/ ridiculous/ pathetic? Im sure people will be reading this and thinking "you lucky fella, what you complaining for." But I have to say Im genuinely genuinely shocked.

 

Its not going to make me leave her or anything but guys can you tell me what you think? How would you feel? Girls too, Id love to hear your comments.

 

 

Thanks

[Saria]

Well for a start she trusts you enough to think you'd be ok with it.

 

It's in the past though so dont let it bother you tht much.

 

If you really have a problem with it you need to have a talk with her about it and why you dont like the idea of it. Maybe she thinks your ok with it cause you havent said anything.

[mslucysue]

Have You Went Through Similiar Things? I Mean, If You Are Guilty Of The Same Background Stuff, Why Punish Her For It? Women Have To Think About Those Things Too You Know. Some Of Us Dont Like Knowing Our Men Have Been With A Slew Of Women.

[MarkWarner]

'Punishing?' 'Guilty?' I think you are missing my point...Im not punishing anyone for anything. I came on here to ask for advice for something Im feeling which I havent experienced before. I havent mentioned my concerns to my partner. So how Im punishing her Im really not sure. And as for guilty, well that usually means someone has done something wrong and I havent said that either. So Im not really sure where you are coming from and vice versa. I just have mental images that I find a bit disturbing and I dont know what to do about them.

[theantibarbie23]

I think I would be repulsed too. I would tell her it bothered me if I were you. You need to make sure the two of you are sexually compatable because she sounds as though she is very sexually adventurous.

[megnog]

well my boyfriend told me he once had a threesome and that shocked me. more because i didn't think he was the type at all... but yeah i don't think you should feel like you aren't handling it the right way. thats a big deal. just don't let it get in the way because it WAS in the past. its not a reason to break up with her (obviously) but if you feel like it would help you to get over it by bringing it up with her, then do so.

[Tim'sAngel]

Hi' date=' Ill keep it brief. Met a girl 5 months ago who is great fun and seems to be really into me. Everythings ok in the bedroom, in fact its great but, (and this is a big but), we had the sexual history conversation 3 nights ago and my brain is fried. [/quote']

 

Why would you do that??? What on earth would make you think that "talk" is necessary?? Trust me you are not the first of men to come on LS to say they had "the talk" with their gf's and now look at her in repulse and disgust. Maybe I'm just crazy or out of the loop, but I do not want my SO to know all the things I've done in my past, neither do I want to know all the "ins and outs" of his past. Not only is it absolutely noones buesiness, but it is completely unhealthy for any relationship. What concerns me the most about this post is how casually you mentioned "the talk" like it was perfectly normal you guys talked about this. Damn, maybe I am just the weird one...

 

Im posting this as I want to know is it normal what Im feeling or am I being jealous/ ridiculous/ pathetic? Im sure people will be reading this and thinking "you lucky fella' date=' what you complaining for." But I have to say Im genuinely genuinely shocked. [/quote']

 

Well of course its normal!! Of course you do not want to think of your gf with 4 men banging her in every hole. There is nothing not normal about that, which brings me to my first question, why would you want to put yourself through this? OK, well it's already been done. This has obviously damaged your relationship, there isn't any advice I can give you that can salvage that, but I can say (from personal experience) that it does not mean she will be unfaithful to you in the future just because shes had a promiscuous past. Alot of people have, men and women. I did as well. I have never cheated on anyone, nor would I ever cheat on my current SO because I have devoted my life and faithfulness to him. Every sexual act I did in my past was done when I was completely single and unattached.

 

Its not going to make me leave her or anything but guys can you tell me what you think? How would you feel? Girls too' date=' Id love to hear your comments. [/quote']

 

I would feel a little disgusted if I knew every detail of my SO's past. Maybe not as much as you since I have had a pretty experienced past myself. He is 36, so he has had quite a long time to do alot of things with alot of people. I do not know how many women he has slept with or what all he has done. I know he is very experienced and very good in bed, which in that case works well to my advantage. Look, you made a huge mistake in your relationship. It is now up to you whether or not you will let this hinder it, for you at least. I'm sure she is feeling some of the same feelings right now about you a well. It's just such an unhealthy thing to do. Try your best to put it behind you and remind yourself over and over that this was all done before you guys were in each others life or before you decided to start a relationship together.