shoedevil Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 FYI-I have been in the same position as the OP. And, yes, it turned me off to the point of being one deciding factor in not continuing a relationship-but mainly because his past is something I assumed he wanted to continue in the future. But he's had plenty of dates since, so maybe I was being abnormal in that respect. Anyway, i still stick by my decision. What was the decision? Are you still with him? When I was single and dating (quite a while ago), I dated a couple of women who were turned off by the fact that I hadn't slept around. It was almost as if they thought I had psychological/sexual issues. I don't think ethics and values ever crossed their minds. It was pretty condescending, almost like something Ronnie would say. I like to think I'm fairly open-minded, but it's possible to be too open-minded. We've all got our own standards that have been shaped by our past experiences. Values account for a lot if a relationship will survive/die........ Those are the best words of wisdom I've heard all day! Link to post Share on other sites
ronnieromance Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 We've all got our own standards that have been shaped by our past experiences. Or lack thereof. Hahaha. They didn't want to date you because you'd be lame in bed. You're trying to suger coat the fact that you're a mediocre lover. We all have our standards, though. -R- Link to post Share on other sites
climbergirl Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 What was the decision? Are you still with him? When I was single and dating (quite a while ago), I dated a couple of women who were turned off by the fact that I hadn't slept around. It was almost as if they thought I had psychological/sexual issues. I don't think ethics and values ever crossed their minds. It was pretty condescending, almost like something Ronnie would say. I like to think I'm fairly open-minded, but it's possible to be too open-minded. We've all got our own standards that have been shaped by our past experiences. Those are the best words of wisdom I've heard all day! The decision was that I was not (sexually) right for him-he had been into 'swinging' with his ex-girlfriend among other criteria he deemed imperative for a LTR. His reasoning was that partners should feel secure with each other enough to explore (meaning w/other people)-as long as it was with each other. And I have a problem even hearing the most benign sexual details of my partners past. Truth be told, I've never even had a onenightstand-it's something I'm neither proud/ashamed of.........just part of my makeup. Most people I've known think it's ok.........but not something I think I'd enjoy. Both views are alright-IMO. I just choose to explore monogamously. That's all. But I have to say that he really is a good guy. I've known him a long time and I certainly won't begrudge him of his choices if he feels comfortable. After knowing him for 20 years (I was 16 when we met), I realize that just because he's ok with it doesn't mean I have to be ok with it. Neither of us are bad in our train of thought,....but would just be bad together. Link to post Share on other sites
shoedevil Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 Or lack thereof. Hahaha. They didn't want to date you because you'd be lame in bed. You're trying to suger coat the fact that you're a mediocre lover. We all have our standards, though. Well, my fiance disagrees with you. And she had a bit more experience than I did when we met. Those women I mentioned had made sex their top priority, which told me they weren't mature enough for a commited relationship. Looking back, you'd have loved these women. It's good to hear that you still see the world in black-and-white, Ronnie. You know, just because some women don't do it for you in bed doesn't necessarily mean there's something wrong with them... Link to post Share on other sites
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