Ex obsession

[Guest]

If you don't feel like reading my long post then just skip to the bottom paragraph and give me some advice. THANK YOU!

 

Am I the only one in the world who is pretty much completly obsessed with my boyfriends ex? We've been dating now for 4 months and he's my first "real" boyfriend. I care about him so much but out start wasn't the best. He was dating this girl, i think we'll call her "evil ex", for a bit over a year. She was his first "love". He lost his virginity to her and her to him. They broke up last summer, him dumping her. There were a bunch of reasons which he told me. When he was going out with her she wasn't exactly a looker. Now we come back from summer and she's SO pretty. But anyways, we were friends before and then we begin to get invovled about 2 or 3 months after they were broken up. Bad idea. We were "together" and we ended up making-out and i thought we were DEFINETLY going to be boyfriend and girlfriend. WRONG! We were "together" and it was good for about a week. Then he starts flirting with his ex and she flirting with him. He stops calling me and caring about me pretty much. So I gave him the silent treatment for a month. It's now around Christmas time and we start talking again. But then him and his ex keep flirting and talking and all. "Evil ex" was convinced that they were going to go back out and she asked but he rejected it. So that confussed me cause I thought he wanted her back. Meanwhile, I feel horrible and used and worhtless. "Evil ex" gets a new boyfriend. Me and the other guy start talking again and hanging out and he eventually asks me out. But for the two months of our relationship I felt like he was just using me to make "evil ex" jealous. Like at prom, I felt like he was constantly looking at her. I hate being in the same room as both him and her cause I feel like she's what he thinks about. The past two months I know he doesn't do it anymore but it's still in my head and I get paranoid about it. Then he talks about her to me all the time. I don't understand it cause I've told him that I can't stand her. I don't know if him talking about her means that he still has feelings. I'm not sure.

 

Here's why I can't stand her besides for the obvious reason that she stole him away from me when they were clearly OVER!!!! She's one of those girls who always has to be the center of attention. Everything has to always be about her and it's annoying. For example, me, her and a couple of our friends werer hanging out. She was the center of attention and every convo was about her until I got fed up. Ends up it was pretty easy stealing the limelight from her. I talked to other guys in the group and then pointed out something about another girl in our group and they would start talking to them. Well, "evil ex" didn't like all the other girls getting talked about so she left and went home. I also think the only reason she's dating her current boyfriend is for his social status. It's not only me who thinks that either, it's EVERYONE! But everyone thinks she's this perfect person when she's not. It annoys me! She's also filthy rich! She has all this nice stuff. I had this whole plan to break into her house and take her faveorite stuff little by little so she just thinks she misplaced it. I've been trying to talk myself out of this cause it's bad, i know. She just bugs me! I know I'm jealous. I don't need people to tell me that. She's got pretty baby blue eyes while I only have these brown ones. She also has one of those million-dollar smiles. Mine's a normal smile. I do have MUCH better hair then her though! She straightens her hair everyday so it's straw, falling out, completly unhealthy and dull. I officially have the best hair in the school. Also, I know I can kick her butt anyday. She's weak and I am DEFINETLY not, lol!

 

Ok, what scares me about myself most is how I'm willing to commit an obvious crime in order to ruin her life even a tiny bit. I'll do ANYTHING to have full comfort in my boyfriend and to not be obsessed! I would just go punch her in the face but it would literally divide my whole school in 2. A third on my side, a third on her side and a third having no idea where to go because they're with us both. Someone help me stop!!!!

[Outcast]

Being jealous of your partner's past speaks badly of you because it screams 'I'm desperately insecure'. Now is that the image you really want to portray? Do you realize that she probably never gives you a thought yet you spend a lot of your time thinking about her? Do you realize how bizarre that is?

 

Any sort of obsessive thinking is unhealthy. If you can't get it under control on your own, you need to get help before you do something real stupid and lose the bf when he realizes that you're a nutjob. Seriously, this is trouble in the making so do NOT allow yourself to give in to your obsession.

[megnog]

okay i'm guessing you are young.. i am too although i think a bit older than you.

i am jealous as well. very jealous at times but i can maintain myself. if you really feel like all he thinks about is her, then drop him. it seems to me like he can't make up his mind about what he wants

 

but i must say if they were eachothers first loves, then he probably still loves her, just isn't in love with her.. you know what i mean??

its hard to try and date someone who still has baggage and stuff. he could possibly be using you but i really haven't a clue. i think you should give it more time before you start seriously dating him. finding out in a few months that you were just a rebound could hurt more than just telling him you'd like to play it safe for now and not date him.

anyway .. so you don't like the girl, thats fine. i had a boyfriend in high school that was my first love and although he didn't date this girl -angela- i knew he had a huge crush on her before we started dating and i would just lose my breath whenever me and him were together and she was around the locker bay. but i never thought about breaking into her house. you don't want to go there. its not worth the trouble. if you get into trouble you WILL regret this and lose probably a good amount of friends. seriously just take a breather and realize this is all high school bulls***. its not worth anything you are about to risk!

[Brittanyjean06]

If you don't feel like reading my long post then just skip to the bottom paragraph and give me some advice. THANK YOU!

 

I had this whole plan to break into her house and take her faveorite stuff little by little so she just thinks she misplaced it. I've been trying to talk myself out of this cause it's bad, i know. She just bugs me! I know I'm jealous.

!!

 

I know what It feels like to want to plot something out to ruin someone, When me and my ex broke up and he got with another girl( who was my friend) I wanted to take bee bee guns and go over there and shoot her in the face, i was filled with rage and jealousy It was such a horrible feeling. but that was only in the shock of this all and in shock you bound to do something bad.

 

Like make a fool out of your self, like you would be doing, thats why I don't let my self revolve my world around my ex's new girlfriend, and either should you. Jealousy has to be the most unattractive trait for a girl, and I meen it. It's ugly and makes you look horrible, we all feel it sometimes but the way you are thinking makes you look very foolish and you don't want that. You want to look like the bigger person here and block her out of your head, I hate attention cravers to and that makes her a loser, but don't make your self look like a loser

 

If he wants to go rewind his life to trouble, let him do so, your the one better off and you will have feelings for someone. Move on and get a new hang out group so you don't have to be around her. Both him and her won't matter to you years from now. You are young and I am young to, but we have emotions that every older person has, and yes adults feel rage and jealousy too.. I meen for all they know you could be like 30 hahaha Jk, But I'm sure as we grow up we do matture and have already experience stuff like this so we know what to do.

 

Please don't commit that crime your really going to make your self look stupid and crazy trust me. Be a woman be strong and move on. Try to take control of what your feeling, It's hard believe me I know but the sooner you do it the more you will have control over how you feel about all this!

[MrsHellFire]

How is it her fault. Your boyfriend is the one who was obviously interested in her and dumped you FOR her. In fact, you seem to be runner up or whatever you call it because she obviously didn't want him. I doubt his story that "he dumped" her. Do you really want to be 2nd and just a last resort because no one is left to date?

[JCD]

Tell him to leave his ex baggage at the front door otherwise you'll leave him. He should be mature enough to understand that bringing up his past with you will make you feel jealous and insecure and that it will hurt you. What guy that is worth having would want to be hurting you like this? I would leave his ex alone and not do anything illegal to her.