little_girl Posted July 1, 2006 Share Posted July 1, 2006 iv'e been on this site for a couple of months & replied to alot of threads now i need your help! i'm in a relationship with a guy but not sexual, just platonic (not my choice) but i have a FWB also who is married, i knew that when i met him & i know that isn't going to change, but when we get together we have GREAT sex, so what do i do about all of this? i'm trying to move on in my life, but do i really want to! Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted July 1, 2006 Share Posted July 1, 2006 Great sex is no reason to have an affair with a married man. You can have great sex with a single man who can offer you far, far more than a married FWB can. You can have great sex with a single man who can offer you far, far more than a freind with no sex. Move on from both of them. You deserve more and better than either of them are offering you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author little_girl Posted July 1, 2006 Author Share Posted July 1, 2006 thanks for the reply & i will think about it cuz i know i deserve more than what either one wants to give me! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 1, 2006 Share Posted July 1, 2006 I guess you could say I unEXpectedly got caught up trying to help a friend, in the beginning that is. Let me explain if in a short version of my mental ability at the moment. Atleast that is how I perceived it... then. I knew I had to work on my current status, job, mental capacity to love again, [now there's a Major!] again my self preservation fault to the limits! before I could get involved and truthfully denied the feelings I felt growing on a daily basis. My 'friend' was persistant as I believe he knew some of the aspects I was experiencing and I never gave him the credit by showing him what I truly was feeling. I should of let these feeling evolve then if problems arose, deal with it. NO!!!! I didn't do that and allowed myself all the critique of why and love fails me again. In other words I just allowed what appeared safe, and allowable. I must be a glutton for pain. But I will add the persistance he gave certainly opened my heart and mind and then it was too late. I am not easily a forgiving person when it comes to matters of the heart. Other areas, I'm a fool. So I stood behind that wall of protection, claiming I was right in doing what I didn't do while allowing him into my life and then kicking him out of it when it was not. Fuc----- stupid, and all I managed was, Oh. Now? Well, the managers of heart discontent have kicked in and perhaps he did what I should of done. Certainly didn't have the courage to do. So in retrospect, he has moved on and with his decision, it is best. But I am torn. But as he stated it is best rather than all the hurt to run its course now then dishevel the woebegones over and over again. For our future reference I will be prepared. He has shown me my silly side again, to open your heart to love and fun in the sun and for this and more I will be forever in debted to his dominance to forge the truth out of me. I surely hope he can forgive what perhaps life has not given him yet, or maybe it has. I cannot force him to do what is best for him. And this drives me crazy as I am not one to follow the yellow brick road, obviously or be chained to the books of rule. However, my heart calls out his name, and my tears flow freely as I must do what is best for him if I indeed loved him. THis is killing me and I must refuse to give in to selfishness at the expense of my own. How can I convey this? AM I wrong to deny myself again? Speaking as if it this never happens or did, should I allow it now since one has taken the steps to move on? I am sadlly mistaken, I must add, my heart is broken by the changes I have felt again so soon after past loves' healing process, but I feel endurance and strength are of order. I'll manage. I am sorry as I never meant to hurt anyone. This is not my nature, but some can say l have experienced it at the hands of another. Yet, shi- happens and it was not always good. In fact, it probly was what was needed to break the chains I have linked around my heart and soul for so long. He saw thru all that and more. He was massive and enveloped me like no other. Dam-! Time is needed and I prey that he will understand that his decision to do what he believed is forgiven to an extent, and necessary to move on. But also I too must do what I believe. But that doesn't make the feeling of loss or void that has taken on a life of its own. We must and I must, and respectively we will. How to say so long after he evidently did for so long too. hurts by what wasn't expressed by him. Now I should listen to my own heart for a change. This is what he gave back to me. I do remember,--him and keep forgetting he is not mind anymore. ~ M ~ I am not angry nor am I lost, just feelings of missin' what I wanted to keep kissin'. Now what? This is sooooo long isn't it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author little_girl Posted July 2, 2006 Author Share Posted July 2, 2006 it was long but very interesting, we all deal with life's curves differently! i've been dealing with them for 168 daz now, & not very well either! i'm sure everything will blow up in my face sooner or later & i will deal with that too. tell me "is it better to be loved & lost, then to never have loved at all" i think not!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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