Anger towards my father

[samsungxoxo]

I'm so mad right now, I hate him, I do, yet I wouldn't want to cut complete ties with him. I was always more attached to him when I was a little kid all the way till I turn 18, even as soon as I turned 19. I didn't get along well with my mother those times, as she used to criticise me for my shyness and lack of social skills, ect. And well dad would stop her form cticizing me, yes to him I was his princess, that's what he use to say, even praise me (I'm the only girl).

 

Reason why I hate him now recently: I got into talking dirty online (just for fun) and while I still had my cam on, I flashed these two guys. But geezz, it's not like I'm doing it in real life, I'm a virgin and besides just cuz I once in a while talk dirty online and the fact that I only flash my top part on two occassions doens't make me a sex freak nor a slut, and I also like looking at porn magazine at the faked men. Nothing wrong with it, it's normal.

 

Then a stupid jerk called that day saying he was my ex's friend and that he saw me on cam, he elaborated some stuff that's not true. This by the way happened 2 months ago and off course they (stupid parents) totally freak out and get the cam taken away. Geeezz I'm 19 already and it's not like I'm asexual (one who's never attracted to anything), so what if I got sex drives, it's normal, everyone has them, some have it higher than others.

 

Well ever since that, he (I'll call it the stranger, not dad anymore) ain't talking to me the same. He'll only talked if I say "hey dad" or "Good nite", bye, those stuff, only smile if I do. I'm sick of acting like a hypocrite, I'm piss as well, where is the dad that use to defend me everything I had problems in school, argue with my teachers who were unfair to me, even go against my mother whenever she use to say mean stuff. 2 months and still with that f***ing attitude, geeez. If he ain't forgiving me completely then what's the use of him paying for my classes, I rather leave already.

 

According to my mother, she told me she does worry about me. Even cried a week after that incident I did with my cam. I don't even care what she says anymore, I'm mad as heck, I'm in tears right now.

 

I dunno what's really to be sorry for, I don't feel sorry for anything, I did nothing wrong. if there's one person who's suppost to apologize, it's him. No point to try acting nice if he's gonna be still with that crap.

[RecordProducer]

They still see you as a kid and their kid is engaging in some possibly dangerous actions. Of course it's natural for you to feel sexual and have sex with men. However showing your breasts to strangers is looking for trouble. You can get raped or made fun of or be taken as a slut. See? The person you trusted and played with happened to know your phone number and called your parents! You were playing with fire. If you talk dirty, do it either with your partner or completely anonymously.

 

Your father is dealing with the situation in a very wrong way. Instead of explaining to you what it meant, he just shows anger. You can't be fully mature at that age so you do the wrong things sometimes.

 

I think you should approach your dad and tell him that you do understand you made a mistake and you do understand his concern for you that comes out of love and care, but you didn't deserve to be treated as if you're an outsider, that you feel lonely, miss your daddy, and being his princess.

 

Believe me, everything will be great if you do that with warmth and sweetness in your voice and eyes. If he wants an apology, apologize, for god's sake! What does it cost you? The truth is, you don't need to apologize to HIM. You need to be careful in the future for your own sake.

 

And don't be so impulsive! You're still his princess. You'll always be.

[Tim'sAngel]

I almost cried when I read this. I have a strained relationship with my father. I love him dearly!! He left me and my mother when I had just turned 18. I was so heartbroken I didn't know what to do with myself

 

I moved to southern Cali with him a few months later right after my graduation. I was so excited and so stupid. I had never been to Cali and I went crazy. I used to meet guys online just for sex. My dad knew, I don't know how, but daddies know. He was so dissapointed in me, and it made me burn with self resentment for it. I was angry with him because he would try to express how angered and hurt and upset he was that his little girl could do such things. We started to distance ourselves from each other.

 

Fast forward 3 years and one beautiful baby boy later. I haven't seen him in almost a year. Not a day goes by I wish I could rewind and take back everything I did that hurt him and just have him in my life again!! I promise you if you are ever without your father in the future, you will look back on these days and think about how good you had it. I'd give almost anything to be near him, hug him, talk to him face to face, watch him play with his grandson. Things are so awkward now and I know its partly my fault. Don't let this happen you hunny!! I promise you will regret it with every fiber of your being. You are his princess, he doesn't want to think of you in a way of giving your beautiful body to hormone enraged boys who just want to degrade you. He is a father. Those boys aren't worth your relationship with your daddy.

 

Damn girl, now you got me crying

[HokeyReligions]

He's hurt and disappointed and probably wonder what he did wrong. He may be distancing himself because he doesn't know how to react and doesn't want to say or do something that will make things worse. You are still living in his house and you are still his daughter - this had to hurt him a lot.

 

It wasn't a smart thing to do on your part for many reasons, not least of which is your own safety. He probably took the camera away partly as punishment and partly to try and protect you.

 

Use this as a learning and maturing experiene. Apologize to him first and try to get back on an even keel. He probably will never feel about you the same way anymore, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love you. It's hard for parents to let go when their children start growing up and sometimes its just as hard for children to adjust to a new relationship with their parents. Neither of you can have it both ways. Talk to him and most importanly - LISTEN to him. Be a grownup.

 

TA: Pick up the phone right now. Call your dad. Say "Dad, I miss you. Not a day goes by that I don't regret what happened and wish that I could rewind time and get our relationship back. I love you. I want you to be part of my life and I want you to know your grandson. I'll be there xxxx" and then go see him. Bring your camera and some tissues. It is not too late.

[blind_otter]

I'll have to agree that it's not the best idea to be flashing yourself online to random dudes. No offense. If I were a parent and my child was doing this I would be pissed, too, but because I would be worried about what this could lead to (IME every bad habit starts out with innocent experimentation). And your Dad is probably waiting for an apology.

 

And I moved out of my parents house when I was 19 because I realized that, regardless of how old you are, if you live in someone's house and they pay for you to live, you have to abide by their rules on some level. They just want the best for you.

 

I would be more worried if your parents didn't give a flying f*** who you showed your tits to.

[Curmudgeon]

As a father with three daughters (all adults now though my youngest one is just 18) and two grown sons, I side with your father (how strange is that?).

 

From a father's perspective he doesn't want his "princess" cheapening herself in any way, flaunting it or giving it away casually. Modern, permissive attitudes towards sex among young adfults (read all about it here) notwithstanding, most of us from the "older generation" don't share them and especially not when it comes to our children. It flies in the face of the moral values, social ethics and personal integrity a great number of us were raised with by our parents. While we "survuived" the 60s and 70s, a great many of us don't want our children making the same mistakes we did.

 

Your attitude, threats to quit school, leave home and your belief that your father should be your defender no matter what you do are all extremely immature and precisely what I would expect from someone who is only 19. At that age, adolescents are famous for shooting themselves in the foot and rushing off to be on their own, usually ending up far worse off than they need to be or would be if they practiced just a bit of humility.

 

You did nothing wrong, huh? Of course not. You just bared your breasts in a very public venue with a wide audience of perverts and predators, giving it away to the lowest bidder (anyone with an Internet connection) and possibly put your well-being at risk. If anyone should apologize, it should be you. If you want to be independent, it's time to grow up. Legal adulthood does not equate to the maturity to handle it as your father obviously is well aware of and which you just proved.

 

As always, just one man's opinion!

[Naughty Peach]

There really is little to no anonimity on the great world wide web. It is a very small world after all. As was proven by this person knowing your phone number and calling your pop to tell him he saw your breasts.

 

I'm sure it seemed like innocent and anonymous fun. It wasn't. Knowing your phone number is one step away from knocking on your door. It is hard enough for Daddy's when they realize their baby girls are having sex, it is quite another thing to realize your princess is baring her breasts to strange men on line.

 

YES, you are your own person. But you live under your father's roof.

 

Go apologize to your Dad. Tell him you are still figuring out what it means to grow up. Tell him you made a mistake. Tell him you dearly miss being his princess. The innocense may be gone for both of you, but don't miss out on the love.

[Tim'sAngel]

TA: Pick up the phone right now. Call your dad. Say "Dad, I miss you. Not a day goes by that I don't regret what happened and wish that I could rewind time and get our relationship back. I love you. I want you to be part of my life and I want you to know your grandson. I'll be there xxxx" and then go see him. Bring your camera and some tissues. It is not too late.

 

I didn't mean to make it sound like we have no contact. We do but it is limited. I'm to the point where I hate talking to him because I know what hes thinking and he will inevitably try to make me think the way he does, which will never happen. I am actually trying to plan a trip up there the end of summer. I am hesitant because of his growing alcoholic problems that I do not want my son around.

 

Ailec, this is very simple. If you want the respect of your of your parents you will have to act like an adult and earn it. Flashing your titties to some random boys on a camera over the internet is not being very mature. Try to step in their shoes and think about how you would feel if you found that out about your daughter.

[Maddy]

I'm 23 and I hate my dad too. He tries to dictate what kind of job I should and shouldn't have based on the salary, and how I should wear my hair, and what kind of TV programs I should watch. The worst part of all is I don't think he's fair because I have a brother who is 20 and he rarely lectures him about stuff like this. That's why when I save enough money I'm moving out and I don't want to have anything to do with him ever again.

[Outcast]

At 19 you should have much more sense than to flash strangers on the Web. You should have more sense than to threaten to quit school.

 

Nothing wrong with it, it's normal.

 

It's not 'normal'. It's trashy.

 

You're showing extremely poor judgement and your poor dad is wondering what ever will happen to you because nothing he's told you about keeping safe and doing healthy things seems to have sunk in. And worse, not only do you not yet realize what mistakes you've made, you're mad at him because he's upset!!!!!

 

If it were me, I'd find some girls' school and send you there and hope they could teach you the things that I didn't before you get yourself in terrible trouble.

[bicky_62]

I'm so mad right now, I hate him, I do, yet I wouldn't want to cut complete ties with him. I was always more attached to him when I was a little kid all the way till I turn 18, even as soon as I turned 19. I didn't get along well with my mother those times, as she used to criticise me for my shyness and lack of social skills, ect. And well dad would stop her form cticizing me, yes to him I was his princess, that's what he use to say, even praise me (I'm the only girl).

 

Reason why I hate him now recently: I got into talking dirty online (just for fun) and while I still had my cam on, I flashed these two guys. But geezz, it's not like I'm doing it in real life, I'm a virgin and besides just cuz I once in a while talk dirty online and the fact that I only flash my top part on two occassions doens't make me a sex freak nor a slut, and I also like looking at porn magazine at the faked men. Nothing wrong with it, it's normal.

 

Then a stupid jerk called that day saying he was my ex's friend and that he saw me on cam, he elaborated some stuff that's not true. This by the way happened 2 months ago and off course they (stupid parents) totally freak out and get the cam taken away. Geeezz I'm 19 already and it's not like I'm asexual (one who's never attracted to anything), so what if I got sex drives, it's normal, everyone has them, some have it higher than others.

 

Well ever since that, he (I'll call it the stranger, not dad anymore) ain't talking to me the same. He'll only talked if I say "hey dad" or "Good nite", bye, those stuff, only smile if I do. I'm sick of acting like a hypocrite, I'm piss as well, where is the dad that use to defend me everything I had problems in school, argue with my teachers who were unfair to me, even go against my mother whenever she use to say mean stuff. 2 months and still with that ****ing attitude, geeez. If he ain't forgiving me completely then what's the use of him paying for my classes, I rather leave already.

 

According to my mother, she told me she does worry about me. Even cried a week after that incident I did with my cam. I don't even care what she says anymore, I'm mad as heck, I'm in tears right now.

 

I dunno what's really to be sorry for, I don't feel sorry for anything, I did nothing wrong. if there's one person who's suppost to apologize, it's him. No point to try acting nice if he's gonna be still with that crap.

 

you do have something to be sorry for and that's for what you did on the web cam, you could have gotten into trouble if any of those guys wanted to meet up with you. you could have put your life on the line, iam sure that your parents care and love you and they want to see that your safe and know right from wrong and what you did on the web cam was very wrong and it showed that you had no self respect so think about it.

[samsungxoxo]

LOL, I'm surprise my post got another reply. Ok nevermind here comes the good news, we have reconciled yesterday, he's now talking to me again. I won't ever hurt him nor disappoint him ever again. Didn't realize I was able to make a man cry (yea mom told me a while ago, that was a week after the incident).

 

[Curmudgeon]

This may come as a surprise to you, Ailec, but men cry easily when they really love someone.

 

But don't tell anyone. It's a secret!

[Fun2BMe]

I can understand your frustration, but think of it this way. The opposite scenerio could have been that your father would not have cared less what you did online. There are parents like that once their child turns 18 they seem not to mind what they do. The fact that your parents got upset is a good sign. It shows that they care about you and you are loved.

 

Instead of getting mad at them, why don't you talk to your father and apologize about what you did. You can act out sexually once you move out but while you are living under their roof, try to be sensitive towards their feelings so they don't misunderstand to think they've raised a sex crazed girl instead of the innocent one. They were raised without webcams so don't understand that what you did was harmless. Try to put yourself in your father's shoes and please don't hate the man.

[samsungxoxo]

Been like what now 3 years since this incidence LOL, yea I'm 22 now....... Funny but if I was single I would be doing this like every day or like 3 times a week or so. Man ever since that, I can't stop this fantasy/online craving from my thoughts. Guess it's something that has no stop to it. Or did I always have a wild side?? It possible I had this repressed and when I did that once long time ago as single, it just brought up whatever was repressed???

[GorillaTheater]

Been like what now 3 years since this incidence LOL, yea I'm 22 now....... Funny but if I was single I would be doing this like every day or like 3 times a week or so. Man ever since that, I can't stop this fantasy/online craving from my thoughts. Guess it's something that has no stop to it. Or did I always have a wild side?? It possible I had this repressed and when I did that once long time ago as single, it just brought up whatever was repressed???

 

I don't know the answer to your questions, but for what it's worth I would have taken the webcam away from you too.

[samsungxoxo]

I don't know the answer to your questions, but for what it's worth I would have taken the webcam away from you too.

I have a new webcam now, like I stated been now 3 years later. The main reason I don't flash on cam now is because I'm in a relationship plus I still live with them. I'm about to move out sometime beginning of next year or this ending year as I will be paying for my boarding pass to go back to the US.

 

This was just an update of my 2006 post. Interesting how curiousity turn into thought fantasy/craving that doesn't go away.

 

No I never apologize as I felt no need to. I felt within myself I just done nothing wrong but just act it out on myself plus I hate doing fake apologies..... If I apologize, then it's when I mean it not just to save my behind...

[Tayla]

nature is such that one is either a voyeur or an exhibitionist. One compliments the other. The difference is, mature adults are mature ENOUGH to keep it amongst the intimate levels and not expose it to the public. Sorry but bragging online is not the most mature thing to do.

 

Some words of wisdom....Never do online, in public or in text anything that can be published against you. Your neighbors, your heirs may sometime read it or view it. Is it worth the shame? If you carry no shame, you carry no humaness. You decide.

[Quinch]

This is a sad story. If I had a daughter I would hate to think she was flashing her tits on the internet. It wouldn't matter if she was 19 or 29. I would feel that I was a terrible failure as a father for raising a girl who had such a poor opinion of herself that she had to seek justification by prostituting herself online.

[Curious-One]

I understand your frustration but at the same time looking at it from his perspective , i KNOW he feels horrible. His little girl is showing boobs to other guys on the internet.. I know you say you are 19 or whatever but you are still his little girl and he knows how guys are because he has been one all his life.

 

On another note, is it ok to show your boobs to random guys on the internet.. IMO heck NO. You seem like a good girl , you say you are a virgin yet you show your boobs to random guys on the internet. I honestly dont see why and IMO that is not proper especially looking at it from your parents perspective. I am 22 yo but if i had a doughter and found out she was flashing guy on the internet, i know that would kill me. I would feel like i failed as a parent.

 

If it was your bf and he saw your boobs than fine but strangers on the internet...cmon!

 

oh crap didnt realize this was like a 3 yr old post.

Edited October 7, 2009 by Curious-One

[sally4sara]

This is a sad story. If I had a daughter I would hate to think she was flashing her tits on the internet. It wouldn't matter if she was 19 or 29. I would feel that I was a terrible failure as a father for raising a girl who had such a poor opinion of herself that she had to seek justification by prostituting herself online.

 

But do you look at porn?

They're all somebody's daughter.

[Tayla]

But do you look at porn?

They're all somebody's daughter.

 

Yes and someones fantasy. No harm in keeping fantasy just that.

This Flasher took it to a sick perversion level that has been an obsession.

What ire's my conscious is the fact this person brags and has no regard for their own actions or family opinions. This person has NO remorse, which is a sign of a socio....totaly egoistic....the Look at me syndrome ....

[Gunny376]

Been like what now 3 years since this incidence LOL, yea I'm 22 now....... Funny but if I was single I would be doing this like every day or like 3 times a week or so. Man ever since that, I can't stop this fantasy/online craving from my thoughts. Guess it's something that has no stop to it. Or did I always have a wild side?? It possible I had this repressed and when I did that once long time ago as single, it just brought up whatever was repressed???

 

Not trying to be harsh on you, but what your not getting is that for those techincally savey enough? There are ways to track you down via your computer connection. With that? They can go even further and find out personal information. From that they can find out where you live. On the internet and via your computer you leave a trail. A trail that can be followed to where you live.

 

With certain internet sites, I can find out what kind of car you drive, where you live, how much you paid for your house, where you work at, what your occupation is etc. All for just $24.95 a month.

 

It really doesn't take all that much ~ just a Google or Bing Search and a lot of time, patience and determination.

 

There are a lot of sick puppies out there ~ and one can never be too careful.

 

You see it as an innocent act of youth. I understand that. But you can never be to careful. Those that you trust (mostly outside of your family ~ but even then some within your family) you can't trust.

 

But one thing is for sure and certain?

 

You can't trust people who are strangers.

[pacific84]

Isn't it possible you just like the attention? Why else would you get a thrill out of a bunch of anonymous strangers seeing you in that way? And your posting the story about it for public consumption fits that theory.

 

In any case, you're making all the guys around here worry that if they ever have a child it may be a girl.

[samsungxoxo]

This Flasher took it to a sick perversion level that has been an obsession.

What ire's my conscious is the fact this person brags and has no regard for their own actions or family opinions. This person has NO remorse, which is a sign of a socio....totaly egoistic....the Look at me syndrome ....

Well excuse me, are you calling me a sociopath? Because I can guaranteed you, I'm not. Just because I used to like flashing and would still do it if I was living alone and was not into a relationship doesn't make me emotionless...

Do you even know what a sociopath is??? And no I have never hurt animals for your information nor gotten jail time....