chewy01234 Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 So in a nutshell two months ago my GF wanted to go on a break to be with a childhood sweetheart of hers. Then we ended up breaking up a month later and she started dating a new different guy a week after that. She has been stringing me along the whole time and kind of keeping me as back up with the whole "i want to marry you someday" thing. She is young, 20 and I'm 23. He have been dating for 2.5 years so I imagine its normal for her to want to be with someone other than her first ever boyfriend. So anyway, I was tired of being back-up so I initiated NC and she said she was losing her best friend and she needed me. After a few days of absolutely NC she broke and came and found me at a party she knew i would be attending. She said she can't live without me and she can't believe she did this and she doesnt know whats wrong with her and things will be different this time. She seems pretty sincere. She cried and I told her, break up with your new BF we will hang out for about a month and then we will see if we can go out with each other again. She did this once before and it lasted for 3 days but it wasnt after NC and this seems a little more real. Maybe I'm just naive or I'm just hoping its real but my gut tells me this time will be different. If you want more back story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t92213/ (also is it unreasonable for me to want her to never see or talk to the new guy again? and If i tell her she will need to regain my trust? what is going too far to regain my trust?) Link to post Share on other sites
Craig Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 It might be real and it might just be the medicine you need to help you realize that you really don't want her as your SO. A similar thing happened to me once and after she came back we lasted a little while before I finally broke things off with her. If you feel so inclined, then go for the reconciliation all the while understanding that you will never feel the same as you did about her again. In the back of your mind you'll find nagging doubts regarding her sincerity and questions about her understanding of the word "commitment." Or it could be all good, I don't think anyone can predict your future. It may hurt to get back together with her and then have her leave again but it could be a good education for you regarding what you'll settle for in relationships. It is, IMO, completely reasonable for you to want to never see or talk to the new guy again or at least for a couple of years and then not on a regular basis. Uh, yes she will have to regain your trust and that is something that happens over time not through a single act (like crawling over broken glass ). There's nothing wrong with telling her that either. If she doesn't understand or puts up a fuss then that is your sign that you need to set her free so she can find happiness in another relationship with a guy that doesn't mind her talking to recent, former love interests. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 She said she can't live without me and she can't believe she did this and she doesnt know whats wrong with her and things will be different this time. She seems pretty sincere. this chick is playing you like a fiddle. dump her sorry ass and start going out with other women. Maybe I'm just naive or I'm just hoping its real but my gut tells me this time will be different. trust me that she will leave you again and come crawling back when it doesn't work. don't be played for a sap. Link to post Share on other sites
tikigods Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 Wow you need to get her out of your life and move on. She keeps you around cause she knows you will be there when her flavor of the month of gone, and you keep going along with it Link to post Share on other sites
Author chewy01234 Posted July 2, 2006 Author Share Posted July 2, 2006 well i mean to be fair she had doubts for all of two months and now she is back with a fiery passion. I'm sure one more time isnt going to hurt anything. I mean how many people end up with the first person they were ever with? I know how dumb I sound. Trust me. But does anyone here think this could work or I am doing the right thing? She says she is willing to do anything. (Oh btw I love only taking advice from people who are saying what I want to hear. lol.) Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 She says she is willing to do anything. Most 20-year-olds usually are. Link to post Share on other sites
Pink Amulet Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 I resent that!! Link to post Share on other sites
Pantero Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 You've been handling yourself pretty well so far. You're only 23, man...there'll be plenty more where she came from. Hopefully a lot more stable in the brain too. End it. Don't shoot yourself in the foot with this one. Good luck in whatever you decide to do. Link to post Share on other sites
BrandonBP Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 You've been handling yourself pretty well so far. You're only 23, man... Yeah, some guys that are 32 that have done this a million times still make the same damn mistakes over and over again. I was thinking the other day of what an idiot I am to fall for the same crap time and time again. Like when a 21 year old hot college student approaches you at the bar and is extrememly friendly. Now I know damn well that she just wants a free drink from my dumbass, but I still buy her one anyway. I'm thinking, "What if this time is different. Maybe she actually wants to come home with me and get naked." So I buy the drink. She says, "Thanks! Nice talking to you!" and then runs off. I still fall for that crap every single time. I figure it's worth a few bucks just in case, you know? Link to post Share on other sites
Author chewy01234 Posted July 3, 2006 Author Share Posted July 3, 2006 yeah man, I mean i know i am a person that learns from mistakes. I think I am willing to take the chance. One last time. Link to post Share on other sites
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