Guest Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 Hi there, I'm a 21 yr old college student. I've had a 'friends with benefits' friendship with a friend that I've known for about 5 or 6 years. We've had this arrangement since last November, and we're both fine with it. It's only used if we're both single and not "looking". His best friend moved into town from Montana and for the past month has been spending alot of time with the two of us. Our mutual friend has been there each time, but the fellow from Montana and I have been flirting like crazy. Each other person that's there while we're flirting question why we're not dating yet. Two nights ago I was drinking with my friends w/ benefits and had sex. I didn't think about it til the next day how awful it sounds to a guy that I like that I slept with his best friend. Will this new man from Montana find me undesirable out of principle, or will the situation (that we've been sleeping together since November) prevail and he won't think it's a big deal? The Montana Man and I are in a very premature stage of a relationship, but that all the moreso wants me to have a good impression on him. We haven't even asked eachother out. I don't plan on sleeping with the Friend W/B dude again anyway. Much obliged--Katie Link to post Share on other sites
Bobbie Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 seems to me like you don't know what you want and it's all 'out there' for the next person comes along in the height of passion! Nothing wrong with lack of commitment or emotional attachment- except by your insecurity and questions you reveal you aren't entirely sure what you want, and you want to make an impression which osn't representative of your current lifestyle. WHy don't you drop the fwb for a while and work on attracting a real relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 Hi there, I'm a 21 yr old college student. that about sums everything up here Link to post Share on other sites
Tim'sAngel Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 that about sums everything up here Um... I'm 22 and that is completely opposite of my way of thinking. It has nothing to do with age and everything to do with maturity. Guest, I know you said you and the Montana man haven't had your first date yet so I guess we can't rule it as cheating, however, if it is a silent known thing between you two that you want something more with each other, then sleeping with the FWB buddy was definately the wrong move. I am not a man, so I don't want to generalize or tell you how men think, but if he were to find out about the sleeping with his best friend thing that might hurt your chances with him. Or, it might not bother him at all since you aren't officially an item yet. I just see it was quite disrespectul to want something with one man, only to turn around and jump in bed with his best friend, whether or not it has happened before. He prolly knows the two of you are sleeping together since they are best friends. I wouldn't be inclined to think he is going to want a serious relationship with a girl who is in and out of peoples beds. It might even start some kind of competition between them. My advice would be to drop FWB if you really want to persue a relationship with Montana man. Link to post Share on other sites
Bogun Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 Um... I'm 22 and that is completely opposite of my way of thinking WTF????? I thought you were in your late thirties at least! Link to post Share on other sites
Tim'sAngel Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 WTF????? I thought you were in your late thirties at least! Damn, do I look that old???? I better start pulling out the wrinkle creams!! Link to post Share on other sites
ronnieromance Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 WTF????? I thought you were in your late thirties at least! I was thinking early 30s...But, this answers why she is a little conservative, yet open-minded enough to not be uptight about things. And, no, you don't look old. -R- Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 I am not a man' date=' so I don't want to generalize or tell you how men think, but if he were to find out about the sleeping with his best friend thing that might hurt your chances with him. [/quote'] um yeah...thats generally the way it works Link to post Share on other sites
Tim'sAngel Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 um yeah...thats generally the way it works I don't know about you Alpha, but I don't like getting sloppy seconds!! :sick: :sick: Link to post Share on other sites
Buttaflyy Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 Will this new man from Montana find me undesirable out of principle, or will the situation (that we've been sleeping together since November) prevail and he won't think it's a big deal? Much obliged--Katie He'd probably think it was a big deal if you guys were to get together. Most guys wouldn't take a girl seriously if she'd slept with his bestfriend and him. If it ever came up I'd say that I was interested in the FWB guy for awhile but it didn't work out and we decided to be friends. Good for you for ending the FWB relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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