Good for now girl or Potential Girlfriend?

[Totally Confused]

This guy used to live in the apartment upstairs and he was moving out. I had the hugest crush on him, even though I only new him from Hi and bye. I never made my move and he moved out, so I told my roommate about my crush. He called the guy up and told him I was interested. The guy called me and we spoke and decided we'd try to get together the following week that was in Sept. He didn't call until November, 2 1/2 mo. later. We went on our first date the following Friday. We had a great time. Two weeks later we had our second date and had a great time. At this point it was now X-mas and the holidays. I went away for 2 weeks and didn't come back until after New Years and we, at that point, set up a 3rd date. From Nov - Jan, we spoke on the phone once or twice a week or e-mailed each other a couple of times back and forth and he would call to wish me happy holidays and even a happy b-day- the day before my b-day, the day of and the day after, because my b-day was in Dec. He even called getting off a plane from a business trip on his cell phone and we spoke for 1/2 hour. We had a great 3rd date, which he even agreed. There was so much passion between us, just in the kiss alone, it was almost freaky. Well after the 3rd date, he stopped calling consitently. He'd e-mail every two weeks and finally it came down to a call or two or an e-mail or two every 1 - 2 mo. from Jan - Sept. Now here it is September, 8 mo. since the 3rd date and a year later since we first started talking, and he calls me out of the blue for a 4th date. We went on the date and again had a great time, but I haven't heard from him in a week. I don't get him. I've played by the book, I know he's very,very attracted to me. I've never had sex with him and he knows I won't sleep w/ someone until I know them well, which he told me he respected. He's never pushed himself on me, he's a gentleman. I thought maybe it's been a year, now maybe he wants something more serious, but it's still the same game. I don't know how I could be considered a "good for now girl', if I won't put out, and then again why would he waste his time w/ a girl who won't put out? I don't get it. What does he want from me?

 

-Totally Confused

[Liz]

If I were you, I'd have a talk with him. Tell him that you really like him and that you like spending time with him, you always have a good time with him, etc. But tell him that you are looking for a more involved, committed, CONSISTENT, relationship. Let him know how you feel and that you need to know from him what he wants as well. Since it has already dragged on for a year, its about time he makes himself clear and decides what he wants out of this relationship. He owes you this much. Let him know that youre not just there for a date now and then when he decides to come back in the picture for a short time. It isnt fair to you and if he doesnt want the kind of relationship you might want, he should tell you so you two can then decide what to do from there.

This guy used to live in the apartment upstairs and he was moving out. I had the hugest crush on him, even though I only new him from Hi and bye. I never made my move and he moved out, so I told my roommate about my crush. He called the guy up and told him I was interested. The guy called me and we spoke and decided we'd try to get together the following week that was in Sept. He didn't call until November, 2 1/2 mo. later. We went on our first date the following Friday. We had a great time. Two weeks later we had our second date and had a great time. At this point it was now X-mas and the holidays. I went away for 2 weeks and didn't come back until after New Years and we, at that point, set up a 3rd date. From Nov - Jan, we spoke on the phone once or twice a week or e-mailed each other a couple of times back and forth and he would call to wish me happy holidays and even a happy b-day- the day before my b-day, the day of and the day after, because my b-day was in Dec. He even called getting off a plane from a business trip on his cell phone and we spoke for 1/2 hour. We had a great 3rd date, which he even agreed. There was so much passion between us, just in the kiss alone, it was almost freaky. Well after the 3rd date, he stopped calling consitently. He'd e-mail every two weeks and finally it came down to a call or two or an e-mail or two every 1 - 2 mo. from Jan - Sept. Now here it is September, 8 mo. since the 3rd date and a year later since we first started talking, and he calls me out of the blue for a 4th date. We went on the date and again had a great time, but I haven't heard from him in a week. I don't get him. I've played by the book, I know he's very,very attracted to me. I've never had sex with him and he knows I won't sleep w/ someone until I know them well, which he told me he respected. He's never pushed himself on me, he's a gentleman. I thought maybe it's been a year, now maybe he wants something more serious, but it's still the same game. I don't know how I could be considered a "good for now girl', if I won't put out, and then again why would he waste his time w/ a girl who won't put out? I don't get it. What does he want from me? -Totally Confused