GuySimple Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 I have noticed a few things about my drinking habits (alcohol) over the past few months. I use to consider myself a sporadically heavy drinker. Doing the empties a couple of years ago I noticed the significant number of empty booze bottles and it kind of bothered me. I never felt that I had a drinking problem as I could go for several weeks without drinking a drop but could make up for it with several martinis over an evening. Looking at the bank statement, which my wife often pointed out, I was spending $50-100 a week on alcohol and wine. Close to a year ago I separated from my wife. I noticed that almost immediately my drinking habits changed. I started to drink far less. I even found myself opening a bottle of wine and only having a glass rather than the whole bottle. My liquor cabinet is fully stocked but much of it is unopened. However, a few months ago I met someone and have dated fairly steady since then. I have noticed that when I am with her I drink. Usually just wine and once again never just one glass. But, the weeks that I am alone I don't drink a drop. This weekend I was alone. Great weekend around the pool of my condo complex where a few people were enjoying various alcoholic drinks, me...nothing. Not even the slightest desire. I realize there is probably some deeper meaning than just being happier with myself than with some others, thus no need to drink. But I find it very interesting that one moment I could be drinking several drinks a night and the next week nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 I'm convinced that drinking will probably land me a wife, kids, a life of stability, and lasting happiness, only because I avoid those things while sober. Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Screamingly funny Wester! GuySimple... you seem to be similar to me,I have noticed the same thing and wondered about it too. Never have made any sense of it. Link to post Share on other sites
BareGoddess Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Could it be that you think you need it when you're around others? It may be that when you first started drinking you used it as a sort of "liquid courage." I don't know. You're a binge drinker though. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 I too was going to suggest that it stems from basic insecurity. I'm guessing that you started drinking as a teenager when you felt you needed booze to make you 'cool' and/or to impress the ladies with your smooth Bond style and became convinced that you're not a man unless you're soused. Think of the great holidays you could have taken your ladies away on with five K per year!!! Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Hmmmm.... Maybe it is the socialising aspect? Going out to bars etc more often? I've never dated or even known a teatotal woman..... Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 I understand that the Isles have a particular fondness for alcohol as recreation. Pity. It just seems so lazy and uncreative to me. Go to a bar. Drink. Puke. Repeat ad infinitum. When there are so many interesting things to do on this planet. Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 I understand that the Isles have a particular fondness for alcohol as recreation. Pity. It just seems so lazy and uncreative to me. Go to a bar. Drink. Puke. Repeat ad infinitum. When there are so many interesting things to do on this planet. Yea... the bar scene is the Irish social scene that is true. It is also true that many do your "Recipe for a night out". But they are losers. We have a really good time when we go out. Play music and meet all the tourists. I have met some really great people from New Zealanders to Canadians and had a whale of time, and no one puked!! Well a few did when they heard me singing but that is another story! Link to post Share on other sites
Nicholas Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 I just got back from a three-week vacation to Ireland, and a lot of the people met me. Some of them told me there's a dark underside to the alcoholism that's passed off as heritable loveliness. Then a different one told me the secret to getting a pint on Good Friday. Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 I just got back from a three-week vacation to Ireland, and a lot of the people met me. Some of them told me there's a dark underside to the alcoholism that's passed off as heritable loveliness. Then a different one told me the secret to getting a pint on Good Friday. Oh dear Nick. Now I have to kill you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author GuySimple Posted July 4, 2006 Author Share Posted July 4, 2006 Could it be that you think you need it when you're around others? It may be that when you first started drinking you used it as a sort of "liquid courage." I don't know. You're a binge drinker though. I am very much an extravert when I drink or don't drink. As for the "liquid courage" part, I never drink at work or family functions other than maybe a glass of wine. I am typically the designated driver type plus the life of the party. Part of me thinks that it is just when I am in a relationship but I can't figure out why. Oh, I have a Scottish heritage, which may explain part of it. Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Oh, I have a Scottish heritage, which may explain part of it. I'll drink to that! Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 I'm still betting on the Bond effect. You grow up with movies of ladykillers doing their best work over a martini or three and absorb that by osmosis. Link to post Share on other sites
Nicholas Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Oh dear Nick. Now I have to kill you! No, I don't remember the secret. I was too drunk. Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 No, I don't remember the secret. I was too drunk. Thash ok, I am ushually too pished to aim shtraight anywaysh up.....hic:sick: Link to post Share on other sites
lovelorcet Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 I also find myself behaving in a similar manner and have even wondered about it at times. I do find that I tend to want to drink and go out when I am frustrated about stuff in life. Maybe my ex was frustrating me just by sitting there on the couch and not having the energy to do anything half-way interesting. I also drink when I am in a good mood as well but I almost never drink when I am depressed about something. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 People who do not have a drinking problem do not ask themselves if they have a drinking problem Something to think about Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 It would take a lot more than three martinis to convince me that I'm anywhere near being as suave as Bond. I was a heavy drinker all my adult life. Never missed a day's work and never drove if I'd been drinking but enjoyued several drinks every evening after work and a Bloody Mary seemed to be just the right breakfast on weekends. Interestingly enough, in social situations I was usually the most sober person around and could nurse one drink for hours and that was it. Six months ago I simply stopped and I haven't missed it. This past weekend we attended a neighborhood BBQ where everyone was drinking wine and beer and attended also a wedding with an open bar at the reception. We toasted the bride and groom with sparking cider (nonalcoholic) and didn't miss the drinking one bit. Looking back at the monthly booze tab that likely averaged $300 I can easily see what a waste it was. For the record, I, too, am a Scot and both my parents were alcoholics. Ah, genes! Ya gotta luvum. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Contrary to popular belief you don't have to drink every day, or even feel the need to drink every day, to have a problem with alcohol. The only qualification AFAIK is that you tend to use alcohol with a particular motive (conscious or unconscious) -- use it in order to achieve something. If you notice a pattern, and it is enough to upset or distress or frustrate you, then it does deserve some consideration. I personally think it has something to do with your confidence in regards to relationships. Being around family and friends is one thing, a lover is quite another, and extraversion isn't a good marker in regards to confidence when performing around the opposite sex. IMO, even extraverts can have insecruties about relationships and how their partner analyzes them and sizes them up as a potential LTR. Ultimately I think you should examine how you are and feel in your relatinships and whether you may be choosing incompatible mates or what insecurities you may deal with regarding those interactions. I'm just saying. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GuySimple Posted July 4, 2006 Author Share Posted July 4, 2006 Very wise words from "the swamp". I agree with your comment about extraverts. The more "out there" a person can be, the less people are going to see their faults. Link to post Share on other sites
Nicholas Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 The only qualification AFAIK is that you tend to use alcohol with a particular motive (conscious or unconscious) -- use it in order to achieve something. But, doesn't everyone use it in order to achieve something? That just seems a little bit too vague? Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 I use it in order to achieve a pleasant-tasting accompaniment to a meal. I don't use it to 'relax', for courage, or for the feeling of being 'buzzed' (which I HATE). I don't use it daily or even monthly; maybe a few times a year if that. If you're drinking it for any reason other than having it in reasonable quantity as a beverage to accompany a meal, then IMHO you're already heading towards the place where trouble lies in wait. I think there are plenty of people who don't 'use' it at all but just drink it to accompany food. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 The only qualification AFAIK is that you tend to use alcohol with a particular motive (conscious or unconscious) -- use it in order to achieve something. But, doesn't everyone use it in order to achieve something? That just seems a little bit too vague? Not that I know of. Most of the people I know who are able to enjoy alcohol just drink it socially. They don't have any intent as to where they want the alcohol to take them, mentally or emotionally. IME if you drink to get drunk, you have a problem. I am a recovering alcoholic btw, I was sober for almost 6 months and then drank while I was in Europe with disastrous consequences that involved very nearly losing all my front teeth. Link to post Share on other sites
BareGoddess Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 Let me add this too. If you end up drunk when you weren't meaning too, it may also indicate a problem. Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 maybe alcohol is your catalyst in dealing with your emotions....or not dealing with them rather? or maybe it was a way for you to schleck responsibilities of being a couple..... since you were not totally sober.... HOW much could some expect? Link to post Share on other sites
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