dub03 Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 I think its been two years since I started a new thread, which I guess is a good thing. I had been crushed then, and this forum helped a lot. Since then I have dated a lot, but hadn't found anyone I felt like I could get serious with. I'm only 25, but I have been in and out of relationships a lot. Some long,some short. I feel like I should know how to handle myself by now when I get into a relationship, but I keep f***ing up! What is wrong with me? I had been dating this girl for 5 months, and she was really into me and we hung out all the time. I loved being with her. However I never gave her that commitment. When she brought it up, I circled around it. Things were going really well, and I started to feel like I could now get into a serious relationship with this girl. However, at this time I started to notice she wasn't acting the same towards me. After talking about it, she confessed that she got drunk at a bar and made out with another guy, and felt so horrible and guilty which is why she was acting differently... Of course I wasn't happy, but it was a druken kiss, and we were not officialy together(which probably drove her to it). I asked her if she still wanted to see me, and with out hesitation she said she did, so I forgave her. I was able to put the kiss behind me, and I finally started to open up to her. However, now it seemed like the closer I wanted to get the further away she kept pushing back. Last night she broke up with me, and I was crushed again. I finally came around, and now she is ending it with me! What is that all about? She said that she thought what she wanted was me, but after she kissed someone else that made her think that maybe she was wrong. Yesterday was the first time we had seen each other in a few days, and she said she was fine with that and doesn't think she has feelings for me anymore...how did that change so quickly??? What gives? Now all I can think about is if only I committed to her earlier, maybe this would never have happened... You think there is anyway to reconcile this? Is there anything I can do??? Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Months 1-3 = infatuation Months 3-6 = beginnings of disenchantment Months 6-12 = infatuation usually wears off and person realizes they were 'in love' with their idea of someone but the real person is different Happens all the time. IMHO, don't believe you're 'in love' until at least after the 6 month mark and better to wait a year. Link to post Share on other sites
Diver012 Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Months 1-3 = infatuation Months 3-6 = beginnings of disenchantment Months 6-12 = infatuation usually wears off and person realizes they were 'in love' with their idea of someone but the real person is different Happens all the time. IMHO, don't believe you're 'in love' until at least after the 6 month mark and better to wait a year. Theres some definite truth to these numbers. Although I have heard of people getting married only after a few months of dating... and these people have been married now for over 10 years. Your situation sounds similar to mine. Ex was way into me, and I was into her. We started talking about marriage, moving in together ect... I remember one distinct day, she called and wanted to go riding with a friend of hers... when she came back she was drunk, was talking about running into a friend of ours... and well.. she somehow seemed different. I didnt notice it at teh time, but looking back I realized that something may have happened with this guy? Its the only explanation that fits to me... Once that emotional connection in a woman is broken by another man, even if its just a passionate kiss, its impossible to get back. I would go strict NC for your own sake. Dont look back, no calls or emails or text messages... Let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
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