Why am i like this?

[Petepala]

Ive been married ten years and my libido and even mindset have gone steadilyI dont know. Im 45.

 

Well before we were married i was a sexual lightning rod. Libido to spare.

 

Then my libido started dropping, my wife kind of sensing it, call it womans intuition, then began ranking on my manhood. Lovingly, but persistently, verbally degrading. Still had sex, and it worked and she was pleasured tobe sure, but the next day shed whine about its lack of size - and arguments aside - aftyer three kids she wanted more size - period. Dont even counter it - some women are like that - period. So in all discretion i "appealled" to her desires in inventive, often sotrre bought methods. Still the loving but cutting remarks persisted. She even said she was kidding about the remarks but she enjoyed making them too much. Iwas often hurt by them still tho. Crying or suicidal, god no but it unsdeated my up til then teflon sexual ego.

 

A few years into the marriage i now know im inadequate for her - certain physical things ARE felt and responses seen. Shed even had mentioned me to her girlfreinds and they said thingsd which she told me. By this time Im in my mid thirties and my libido is droipping and viagra does a quick fix

It was truth in advertising.

 

Still age marched on until Viagra now is only a semi cure, my erections are semi hard and short lived at best and she continues her loving banter but its real now - my lack of drive and mechanical workings are real. Still she persists and through it all something odd has krept in and i dont knwo what to make of it.

 

Fact s Ive grown attracted to her banter and even find it secretly sexually arousing - which doesnt help anything between us frankly. She threatens another man to please her sexually which frank;ly i think might have happened at one point already - but i cant nail it down. The threat both upsets and turns me on a nd frankly im at a loss. What the hell happneed to the driven man i was? Now i find appeal in being her verbal whipping boy - and no shed doesnt whip me or any of that fetish nonsense. I keep it secret but i absorb her insult and find it a turn on - this never used o be the case EVER.

 

Bottomline is i fear my frustrating her will send her to anotehr man for sex eventualy and then theres the relationship dangers... you know i can lose her. Please shes not some evil whicvked person and i do love her and she tlls ,me she loves me..but where is this going?

 

 

Pete

[JCD]

Yes you can lose her but do you want her if she's like this to you? That would be like stabbing yourself just to get some sick pleasure out of pain and as you've stated you are probably doing it right now. Snap out of it. Tell her to shut the hell up and if she's not part of the solution then she is part of the problem and you want none of that. There are times when you just need to lay down the law and set boundaries in a relationship. If she leaves you after that then she wasn't loving you anyways so no great loss. Find someone who is understanding of your problems and who is willing to help you or who doesn't have problems with penis size.