not_myself Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 To keep it short - I recently learned in a 'all-honesty' converstaion with the guy I have just started to see that he has slept with a few of his female friends, who remain his female friends. All situations seem to be one-night affaris. This immediately bothers me. First off I dont think it a great idea to sleep with your friends. I have been in many drunken situations with my very attractive male friends and have always drawn the line. Second, this makes me uncomfortable as I am just getting to know all his friends. How can I casually hang out with these girls after knowing this? It is almost impossible to put out of your head. Third - I supposed I am just jealous. We have only been seeing each other about a month or so, but it has been quite intense, and so my reaction to this news has become rather intense as well. I don't know how to proceed with him feeling like this, or even if I should. It seems the relationship has been tainted before it really had a chance to go anywhere? Or am I over-reacting? Should I not care about this because it is in his past? I have been single for a while so am not used to dealing with drama like this. Any advice would be helpful! Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 I think it's each individual's choice as to whether they feel comfortable with their partner being friends with people they had sexual encounters with in the past. That being said, I don't like it or feel comfortable with it MYSELF, but I am aware that others do. If I were in your position I would reconsider a LTR with this man, because I know my limits and I know that I could not handle knowing that we were having Tina over for dinner, and by the way my BF had hot monkey sex with her 2 years ago. It just wouldn't fly with me. I'm not saying, breka up with him. I'm saying, know your limits and your boundaries. Stick to them. If this is not OK with you, that is totally fine. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 I know my limits and I know that I could not handle knowing that we were having Tina over for dinner, and by the way my BF had hot monkey sex with her 2 years ago. It just wouldn't fly with me. :laugh: Same here. I can handle the fact that are a lot of other women who know what my partner looks like naked or what he's like in bed. I can even deal with the fact that everything he's said and done with me have been practiced on someone else. But if I had to actually "look" at that stark reminder in the face every day, befriend it, and even accept her as part of my partner's "package deal" … I don't know how I'd ever be able to continue feeling that I was somehow special to him. I don't know. I guess for me ... as long as it's outta sight, it's outta mind. Link to post Share on other sites
audmc911 Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 It's a problem if they continue to see each other and talk on the phone. This early in the relationship, you should consider it to be non-monogomous. In other words, you do not owe this guy a committment just yet - and he is not committed to you just yet either. It's too soon for that. Just date him and date other people as well and see how it goes for now. But, take it slow. Link to post Share on other sites
john2776 Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 If I found out what you did in the first month before I was too emotionally involved, I would pull out of it. There are plenty of other guys around who have not slept with their girl 'friends'. I don't think he is a match for you. Move on while its easy. Link to post Share on other sites
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