mess4u Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 My Husband is not affectianate enough for me. I find myself getting mad at him because he doesnt want to. I mean stuff like hold hands in public, cuddle while seeing a movie. Simple things He's just not a touch & feel kind a guy. He does alright before sex but, even then I wouldnt mind a little more.Then If I bring it up he gets mad at me for even having a problem in the first place. I bust his balls to much. So he says. Is there ways to want him to be more affecinate or should I just give it up? Which is going to be hard because I really appreciate a little . He does do good with telling me I look good or Im sexy in an outfit. Wich i do appreciate and he Knows that. I would just like the actions that back that up. In public places or family get togethers. I guess It matters to me because Its him showing me he loves me everywhere all the time. It makes me feel secure. Not just up stairs. Is this to much to ask or even want? Link to post Share on other sites
Tim'sAngel Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 When you say you bring this issue up to him, how do you word it? Do you come out him in a way that could make him defensive or do you sit down and calmly explain to him that you love when he puts his arm around your soulders while watching a movie or holds your hand while walking down the mall. The way you word something can make a HUGE difference in the response you get!! Was he affectionate while you were dating? Is this a change in him or has he pretty much always been this way? Link to post Share on other sites
superconductor Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 If he's not a touchy-feely kind of guy, especially in public, you should be thankful. Pawing at you in public is hardly respectful. And holding hands is fine if you both walk the same speed, but wandering through the mall clasped to a partner can be difficult if one or the other is forever heading into stores and whatnot. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mess4u Posted July 6, 2006 Author Share Posted July 6, 2006 We have been married 5 years. When we were dating he was more attentive not so much affecionate.For example order for me at restaurants get me things around the house. I know that has changed because of the baby but, We both give her the better end of things. I like that he is a carring father so missing those things dont get to me.Maybe that is why I want to be given attention in other ways. things I thought were simple to do. I dont think I come off to strong when i tell him whats up. We have never been good communicaters When it comes to the thing that are bothering us about each other. Other tings like bills, house work & stuff we dont have a problem .Always on the same page. But, as soon as I say how I feel he's done . Not interested or change subject. Doesnt matter how I bring it up. I would like to understand what freezez him up with that subject. I Have always told him thank-you for the sweet things. I think thats why I get what I do. Ha! Ha! I just dont get it. First one to ask for sex last one to give you a hug. Link to post Share on other sites
Tim'sAngel Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 Have you considered marriage counseling? That is always best for couple's who seem to have communications problems so you can both sit together and share exactly how you feel and there is a refferee (sp) there to keep the fighting down and help elaborate what the other is trying to say. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mess4u Posted July 6, 2006 Author Share Posted July 6, 2006 Counseling sounds good but, I have mentioned it before and he said not interested. I dont think he thinks there is a problem. I even read that book men are from mars and women from venus. I enjoyed it .helped me relax with all the agrivating things men do. I learned alot about whent to back off or go in. But, I cant get him to read it. I gave up asking him to a year ago. I think I said all the right things like I would appreciate it I would love it. Blah Blah. He said he didnt need it. All was well. Thank-you for your input . I just stumbled upon this sight and I love it. You can learn so much from other people questions & concerns. Im finding it hard to think of my own They are so common. Link to post Share on other sites
Whatsyourpleasure Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 Are men ever really that affectionate? Doesn't it seem that after a while you just get comfortable and all the hand holding and kissing in public slows way down? Is that safe to say? My man takes things to heart. If I try to explain that I would like more attention he takes it as he makes me unhappy. When that is not the case. I try to explain that the little things mean alot. Like calling me from work just to say hi. Come in the door from work and give me a huge hug and kiss. Slap me on the ass now and then. Ya know those things. Do you think women crave romance? And if so why? I know I do. I would love for my man to sweep me off my feet once in awhile. Maybe im watching to much deperate housewives? Link to post Share on other sites
Tim'sAngel Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 Are men ever really that affectionate? Doesn't it seem that after a while you just get comfortable and all the hand holding and kissing in public slows way down? Is that safe to say? My man is very affectionate by nature, lucky for me. I mean we aren't always hanging all over each other, but we stop at least 8 or more times a day and just hug and kiss and say I love you. I hope it never stops. Maybe im watching to much deperate housewives? It seems to me that their hubbies all treat them like crap!! Link to post Share on other sites
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