crazy_grl Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 I find the "be a man" offensive because there are more differences within the sexes than between the sexes. So, "be a man" is along the same prejudicial lines as "all women belong in the kitchen." I agree with the first part. I see your point on the second, but don't necessarily agree. I see "be a man", when used in the manner it was here, to be equal to "act like a human being" in that it's not saying that all are the same so much as there are certain levels of decency that all should uphold. If she'd said it along the lines of "stop crying and be a man" I would agree with you. On a sidenote, I live near Los Angeles. Where are you located in Socal, if you wish to answer. I live somewhere in that general vacinity. Are you cute? People who saw my pic during the few brief times it was up in the past will know the answer to that. Until I decide to put it up again, I guess you'll just have to wait to find out. Link to post Share on other sites
grateful Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 And a post script: Just had a cigarette with the best friend, and all seems back to where we were. I'm very relieved. This whole incident has really made me see how messed up my life's been. My daughter's going to a week-long over-night camp on the 24th, and I'm taking that opportunity to get everything out in the open with my wife. I don't want to hurt her, but I simply cannot go on like this. Good for you ... I'm happy to hear of this development. To purspeed: If you don't like my word choice, man up and ignore it! Link to post Share on other sites
crazy_grl Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 SG, you're probably bummed that she canceled the date, but hopefully in time you'll be glad that she did. If you and your wife work things out, that'll be wonderful. If you don't and you end up divorcing, you'll have the opportunity for a relationship with another woman who can give you the things you need. Maybe it'll be this coworker, maybe not. You and any woman deserve the opportunity to start out a relationship as baggage-free and complication-free as possible. You can't do that when you're already married. I'm not saying it'll be easy, because repairing a marriage or going through a divorce aren't easy things. But they involve a lot less prolonged agony for all involved than an affair. Hope it all works out for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stoopid_guy Posted July 13, 2006 Author Share Posted July 13, 2006 I am happy that you think you can be honest to your wife with the hopes of things becoming better in your marriage. I'll be honest about our marriage, though I probably won't tell her how I feel about the sweety in the office. She doesn't need to know that, just that our relationship can't continue as it's going and why. I think the sweety felt guilty and that's why she canceled... We actually had a two-hour lunch today, a few drinks, and a great time talking. She's been talking to a guy she knew in high school, and is meeting him this weekend, which is why she cancelled. (Another thing in common; we're both basically monogamous.) We both talked a lot more about our mariages, and all kinds of other stuff. (OK, call it an EA.) Link to post Share on other sites
purspeed Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 I agree with the first part. I see your point on the second, but don't necessarily agree. I see "be a man", when used in the manner it was here, to be equal to "act like a human being" in that it's not saying that all are the same so much as there are certain levels of decency that all should uphold. If she'd said it along the lines of "stop crying and be a man" I would agree with you. I live somewhere in that general vacinity. People who saw my pic during the few brief times it was up in the past will know the answer to that. Until I decide to put it up again, I guess you'll just have to wait to find out. How long? Forgive my impatience, but the novelty of these boards are wearing off and I feel very unwelcome here, anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
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