How Do Wives Do It?

[Buttaflyy]

to be honest, i really dont see or speak to alot of ow who feel anger or resentment towards the wife. i certainly never felt that myself. in fact the majority of ow feel guilty toward the wife, and feel even more angry at mm for her choice based on his lies, that was also deceptive to his wife.

it might seem hard to believe, but i experienced this myself, and i also witness similar in others.

 

I agree! Yes, usually this is the case. I'm referring to this thread though. I don't see that here.

[casoria99]

Casoria,

 

It seems that in your letter you have answered your own original question. I want you to understand, that no matter what, even if the OW is also a victim, the W is not to be looked upon as weak, or pacifying of her H's behavior after the affair was found out. You asked why she would take him back. I think that in asking that, there is some hostility toward her. It's seems as if you find shame in the fact that she would again sleep with her H after he's been with another woman. I can't understand where these feelings would come from when you, the OW, has done this knowingly.

 

There's alot of talk of women being catty toward one another. Women not respecting one another, I originally brought up this point and the message was that a woman shouldn't be this way toward her sister (figuratively speaking). I agree with this. But this is the behavior I see displayed from you, the OW numerously. You address the W as if you are taunting her, telling her details of your affair with HER H, menacingly. Nowhere did YOU apologize. You were also hurt by him. The after effects of YOUR participation in her betrayal.

 

If you were an unknowing OW for a time, you are not to blame. When you found out and continued.... you either understood the repercussions or you expected you'd win him. In order for women to join together, for the hostility to end, you've gotta understand that you have to take responsibility for your part and yours only. The only victim here is the W in this threesome. What she does after you, is totally up to her.

 

Right...no matter if the OW was a victim. Well, the reality is you don't have to agree, you don't have to understand, you don't have to empathize, you don't have to feel remorseful, you don't have to make the HUSBAND ultimately responsible for his marita penis, but I have my feelings.

 

And the men that have responded have already told you what they did to the OW. They LIED. So I believed him and so does the wife.

 

Your feelings about how you were betrayed, regardless of when and how the OW found out about you, does not stop the fact that the HUSBAND is the one who LIED and was convincing enough to get a woman to believe him. Afterall, you believe him when he tells you that it's all about YOU and it was always about YOU. But these men are not responsible.

 

Any wive's refusal to fully hold her man accountable is just as much as responsible. The wife and the OW are victims in this situation. As long as men get away with it, then other husbands will continue to do this.

 

And yes, women need to come together. The hard truth, I accept. He didn't like me. He used me. He lied to me. He only wanted sex. I was his dumping ground. Yes, I got all that stored in memory. But a wife should hear the truth too. The husband had to have told the OW something horrible about you in order for her to justify being with him. Don't you get it? I mean, I doubt that a woman would be with a married man after he said "you know, I am in a happy marriage, with a beautiful princess, who is the world to me. My wife is the best thing that happened to me. Ultimately, I would never do anything to hurt my wife whom I cherished."

 

Trust me, if the MM said that, then he wouldn't have gotten anything but what he could snatch at home. He might be saying those things to you now to get him a little something something from you, but as his WIFE, I can honestly tell you that if you really want to deal with what happened, it would start with dealing with the man that I KNEW regardless of what you chalked that relationship so little to be.

[silktricks]

to be honest, i really dont see or speak to alot of ow who feel anger or resentment towards the wife. i certainly never felt that myself. in fact the majority of ow feel guilty toward the wife, and feel even more angry at mm for her choice based on his lies, that was also deceptive to his wife.

it might seem hard to believe, but i experienced this myself, and i also witness similar in others.

 

Honestly, it is hard to believe. My observation is that much of the energy that has been expressed on this forum have been EXTREMELY negative towards the wife. If the wife has decided to kick her husband out and go on without him, THEN she is accepted. But if she decides to attempt to work out their problems, she is called stupid and ignorant and quite often most harshly.

 

That type of reaction leads me to believe that many (probably not most, but many) OW, far from being angry with the MM, is really angry with the wife. If it just wasn't for her. . . It seems that much of the questioning of "how can the wife do it?" has an undercurrent of "get rid of him because then he'll come back to me" about them.

[casoria99]

Casoria,

 

It seems that in your letter you have answered your own original question. I want you to understand, that no matter what, even if the OW is also a victim, the W is not to be looked upon as weak, or pacifying of her H's behavior after the affair was found out. You asked why she would take him back. I think that in asking that, there is some hostility toward her. It's seems as if you find shame in the fact that she would again sleep with her H after he's been with another woman. I can't understand where these feelings would come from when you, the OW, has done this knowingly.

 

There's alot of talk of women being catty toward one another. Women not respecting one another, I originally brought up this point and the message was that a woman shouldn't be this way toward her sister (figuratively speaking). I agree with this. But this is the behavior I see displayed from you, the OW numerously. You address the W as if you are taunting her, telling her details of your affair with HER H, menacingly. Nowhere did YOU apologize. You were also hurt by him. The after effects of YOUR participation in her betrayal.

 

If you were an unknowing OW for a time, you are not to blame. When you found out and continued.... you either understood the repercussions or you expected you'd win him. In order for women to join together, for the hostility to end, you've gotta understand that you have to take responsibility for your part and yours only. The only victim here is the W in this threesome. What she does after you, is totally up to her.

 

I am going to get railed on this, but I wasn't so much to blame when I found out he was married and stayed. My blame is that I believed his tricks when he said that his wife wasn't worth a pot to peepee in regardless of when I found out. I believed him and empathized with him. And I find that women in general do this. When a woman gets a boyfriend, she listens to what he has to say about his ex girlfriends. He explains how horrible she was. And of course, as the women that we are, we think "well, I am better than that. I wouldn't do that. She was not as good as me. I am the FAIREST OF THEM ALL!" And then we get involved with a man only to find out that one day that you understand why the ex girlfriend was how she was. In fact, there have been times when I wanted to talk to the exgirlfriend of my exboyfriend to ask her questions about him after it ended. I did with one and our notes matched up. That's when I realized that I wasn't responsible for what went wrong except that I took responsibility. Meanwhile, he never changed and moved on to another woman and is behaving the same way. I used to see her looking at me as if I was the problem and I looked at her to say "sister, if you only knew!"

 

So married or not, men are still men and women are still women.

 

The reality is you don't have to agree, you don't have to understand, you don't have to empathize, you don't have to feel remorseful, you don't have to make the HUSBAND ultimately responsible for his marital penis, but I have my feelings and it doesn't end with the wife and the husband.

 

I am not trying to rub anything into anyone's face. Believe me, I am fairly articulate and if I wanted to detail the stuff to intentionally hurt someone, I could have done that at the BEGINNING of this thread that I started. I am not writing to play games with total strangers so you need to quit acting like every OW is a Medusa. I am trying to find answers and give answers.

 

And the men that have responded have already told you what they did to the OW. They LIED. So I believed him and so does the wife. It's no different.

 

So when a wife finds out of the affair, and she sleeps with him under the premise that "well I am the wife and I can do it if I want to" becomes the third wheel in the responsibility of what happened. Am I telling you to divorce him? NO! But do you think that giving him his way is what stops this from happening?

 

By not holding your husband accountable to your marriage does indeed make the OW a victim. You instantly blame her and give her the responsibilty of your husbands indiscretion. Now he has to attack and justify everything that fits your brain so that he can save the marriage. As long as men get away with it, then other husbands will continue to do this. They have done it and they will continue because WOMEN respond the same way almost every single time.

 

And yes, women need to come together.

 

The hard truth, I accept. He didn't like me. He used me. He lied to me. He only wanted sex. I was his dumping ground. Yes, I got all that stored in memory. But a wife should hear the truth too. The husband had to have told the OW something horrible about you in order for her to justify being with him. Don't you get it? I mean, I doubt that a woman would be with a married man after he said "you know, I am in a happy marriage, with a beautiful princess, who is the world to me. My wife is the best thing that happened to me. Ultimately, I would never do anything to hurt my wife whom I cherished."

 

Trust me, if the MM said that, then he wouldn't have gotten anything from a single woman. He would have only been able to get what he could snatch at home. He might be saying those things to you now to get him a little something something from you, but as his WIFE, I can honestly tell you that if you really want to deal with what happened, it would start with dealing with the man that I KNEW regardless of what you chalked that relationship so little to be.

[Roselia]

People, men & women, are imperfect creatures. All jangling around trying to find what life's all about.

 

Sex can be just sex. An affair with someone married can be all about enjoying the moment in a safe enviroment.

 

Sex can be as powerful and addicting as drugs, for both men and women.

 

Or a way to spend time physically close to someone that's not involved in the drama of daily life.

 

For some marriage is a emotional commitment forever but for some it's one part of fitting into a role in society. If a couple makes an exclusive deal, married or not, and one of them breaks it, the deal has to be renewed or renegotiated or ended on all levels including sex.

 

Husband, wife and other woman all still have physical needs. Everyone has to decide who is going to help meet them. Wife probably feels husband is better option than her looking for someone else while she is sorting out her head.

 

No one person can meet all our needs. And we can't meet them all ourself. So what do we do?

 

Please understand, I'm not taking sides. I read every post and at the end of it, these are my thoughts.

[Buttaflyy]

In short, you are the one who doesn't understand...

 

Your feelings about how you were betrayed, regardless of when and how the OW found out about you, does not stop the fact that the HUSBAND is the one who LIED and was convincing enough to get a woman to believe him. Afterall, you believe him when he tells you that it's all about YOU and it was always about YOU. But these men are not responsible.

 

Any wive's refusal to fully hold her man accountable is just as much as responsible. The wife and the OW are victims in this situation. As long as men get away with it, then other husbands will continue to do this.

 

So I will repeat again...

I've been here before except, I didn't know initially that he was married. He was actually in a terrible relationship with his W. She was clinically insane and put him through lots of crap. In my case, when he was crying on my shoulder his reasons could have been valid. However, when I found out he was married, I had no choice but to leave him alone.

 

I am NOT the wife Casoria. I've been who you are, been in your shoes. BUT ultimately, it comes down to this...(another repeat btw:rolleyes: )

 

I'm in no way saying that she is responsible for his actions. I just don't see that responsibility is taken for hers. The responsible thing to do in a situation like this is to say, "your married, I'm not getting involved". When he comes crying on your shoulder, if you empathise or have an interest in him, you say, "I'll be there if you don't work things out".

 

Hopefully, YOU can have a better understanding??

[Buttaflyy]

Honestly, it is hard to believe. My observation is that much of the energy that has been expressed on this forum have been EXTREMELY negative towards the wife. If the wife has decided to kick her husband out and go on without him, THEN she is accepted. But if she decides to attempt to work out their problems, she is called stupid and ignorant and quite often most harshly.

 

That type of reaction leads me to believe that many (probably not most, but many) OW, far from being angry with the MM, is really angry with the wife. If it just wasn't for her. . . It seems that much of the questioning of "how can the wife do it?" has an undercurrent of "get rid of him because then he'll come back to me" about them.

 

Sounds like what I've been trying to say for a while now. Thanks Silktricks

[silktricks]

I am going to get railed on this, but I wasn't so much to blame when I found out he was married and stayed. My blame is that I believed his tricks when he said that his wife wasn't worth a pot to peepee in regardless of when I found out. I believed him and empathized with him.

 

BUT, you knew he was married. You can say anything you want about what a terrible person he was for lying to you, but it still comes down to a choice that you made to stay with a man who was married. Your choice. He lied, but you KNEW he was married. You knew he was lying to his wife, right? So, you were complicit in his lies. It was OK with you that he was lying to his wife. If it wasn't OK with you, then you would not have been with him when he was still married.

 

So it seems that it was just fine that he was a liar until you found out that he was lying to you.

 

So when a wife finds out of the affair, and she sleeps with him under the premise that "well I am the wife and I can do it if I want to" becomes the third wheel in the responsibility of what happened. Am I telling you to divorce him? NO! But do you think that giving him his way is what stops this from happening?

The wife has her own responsibility for what happened. However, her responsibility begins and ends with the problems in the marriage BEFORE the affair began, and the part she played in those problems. She has ZERO responsibility for any pain the OW suffers. The OW made a choice to engage in an affair with a married man. The married man chose to have an affair. The wife, believe me, did not want those two people to make those choices.

 

The fact that some of us do take our marriage vows seriously, do choose to work on our marriages, do realize that saying for better or worse sometimes means a LOT worse, does not make us bad people. It does not make us stupid, and it certainly does not make US responsible for YOUR pain. There are two people responsible for your pain, and one of those people is you.

 

By not holding your husband accountable to your marriage does indeed make the OW a victim. You instantly blame her and give her the responsibilty of your husbands indiscretion. Now he has to attack and justify everything that fits your brain so that he can save the marriage. As long as men get away with it, then other husbands will continue to do this. They have done it and they will continue because WOMEN respond the same way almost every single time.

Why oh why oh why do you believe that we don't find our husband accountable? Because we also love them? Because we don't kick them out?

 

And yes, women need to come together.

Why didn't you think this before? Why is it only when YOU are in pain that you want women to come together? Why was it just fine for you to be in a relationship with another woman's husband?

 

But a wife should hear the truth too. The husband had to have told the OW something horrible about you in order for her to justify being with him. Don't you get it? I mean, I doubt that a woman would be with a married man after he said "you know, I am in a happy marriage, with a beautiful princess, who is the world to me. My wife is the best thing that happened to me. Ultimately, I would never do anything to hurt my wife whom I cherished."

Of course not, don't be silly. Of course the husband either said bad things about their wives, or simply didn't speak of them at all. So what?

 

Trust me, if the MM said that, then he wouldn't have gotten anything from a single woman. He would have only been able to get what he could snatch at home. He might be saying those things to you now to get him a little something something from you, but as his WIFE, I can honestly tell you that if you really want to deal with what happened, it would start with dealing with the man that I KNEW regardless of what you chalked that relationship so little to be.

What I find amusing in this is the assumption that you know him so much better and more intimately than his wife does. That you are more aware because of his lies to you than his wife could possibly be. Most of us wives have been married to our husbands for a long time. We know their foibles, we know their weaknesses, we know their shortcomings. We also know that they know ours.

 

An affair is a very very bad thing. It is a painful experience for everyone involved. Not all men who have affairs are cakemen, not all ow's who have affairs are cakewomen, and not all wives are stupid. We love, and we forgive.

[Guest]

I just don't understand why the wife blames the OW when her vows were taken with her husband. He is the only one who owes his wife anything. He is the one who stood at the alter with his wife and made a commitment. Your covenant is with your husband not the other woman. Stop blaming her for your husband deceiving you. Unless she is contacting you or stalking you you have no right to blame her. Put the blame where it deserves to be.

[Buttaflyy]

I just don't understand why the wife blames the OW when her vows were taken with her husband. He is the only one who owes his wife anything. He is the one who stood at the alter with his wife and made a commitment. Your covenant is with your husband not the other woman. Stop blaming her for your husband deceiving you. Unless she is contacting you or stalking you you have no right to blame her. Put the blame where it deserves to be.

 

If you don't see the point and have actually read these posts. I guess you just wont get it.

 

I was wrong all of this time...the wife should love the woman who's been f****** her husband eh? :rolleyes:

 

I hope none of you who don't understand, won't find out first hand. Some folks only learn through experience. Maybe karma will show ya what those feelings are.

[newbby]

BUT, you knew he was married. You can say anything you want about what a terrible person he was for lying to you, but it still comes down to a choice that you made to stay with a man who was married. Your choice. He lied, but you KNEW he was married. You knew he was lying to his wife, right? So, you were complicit in his lies. It was OK with you that he was lying to his wife. If it wasn't OK with you, then you would not have been with him when he was still married.

this is very black and white. usually ow thinks mm is very confused, only in a half marriage, that he and wife are in a half marriage, that neither is content with. ow really believes that they are together for convenience only, after all, if it was so good, then why on earth is he chasing ow?

obviously most women dont think like men, and especially not like man alive. that he is going to such extremes for a bit of nooky is unimaginable to most women.

however, i do see your point and you made it well

 

So it seems that it was just fine that he was a liar until you found out that he was lying to you.

 

 

The wife has her own responsibility for what happened. However, her responsibility begins and ends with the problems in the marriage BEFORE the affair began, and the part she played in those problems. She has ZERO responsibility for any pain the OW suffers. The OW made a choice to engage in an affair with a married man. The married man chose to have an affair. The wife, believe me, did not want those two people to make those choices.

 

The fact that some of us do take our marriage vows seriously, do choose to work on our marriages, do realize that saying for better or worse sometimes means a LOT worse, does not make us bad people. It does not make us stupid, and it certainly does not make US responsible for YOUR pain. There are two people responsible for your pain, and one of those people is you.

 

 

Why oh why oh why do you believe that we don't find our husband accountable? Because we also love them? Because we don't kick them out?

 

 

Why didn't you think this before? Why is it only when YOU are in pain that you want women to come together? Why was it just fine for you to be in a relationship with another woman's husband?

 

Of course not, don't be silly. Of course the husband either said bad things about their wives, or simply didn't speak of them at all. So what?

 

 

What I find amusing in this is the assumption that you know him so much better and more intimately than his wife does. That you are more aware because of his lies to you than his wife could possibly be. Most of us wives have been married to our husbands for a long time. We know their foibles, we know their weaknesses, we know their shortcomings. We also know that they know ours.

 

An affair is a very very bad thing. It is a painful experience for everyone involved. Not all men who have affairs are cakemen, not all ow's who have affairs are cakewomen, and not all wives are stupid. We love, and we forgive.

 

a very good post silk tricks

[Guest]

My man lost the house and half his income. He didn't care, it got him out of the marriage. That was worth more to him than bricks and mortar.

 

You. Weren't. Worth. The. Hassle.

 

End of story.

 

 

I've been reading this thread and I must say Mascara, you are downright mean. Would you say the following to the MM's poor wife:

 

You. Weren't. Worth. The. Hassle. (of keeping my dick in my pants)

 

 

Take the stick out of your behind, "hun," and have a little compassion. Isn't that what this board is for??

[saintfrancis]

My man lost the house and half his income. He didn't care, it got him out of the marriage. That was worth more to him than bricks and mortar.

 

You. Weren't. Worth. The. Hassle.

 

End of story.

 

 

I've been reading this thread and I must say Mascara, you are downright mean. More like, the female dog another poster alluded to, Would you say the following to the MM's poor wife:

 

You. Weren't. Worth. The. Hassle. (of keeping my dick in my pants)

 

 

Take the stick out of your behind, "hun," and have a little compassion. Isn't that what this board is for??

[saintfrancis]

Sorry for double post, I didn't think my first one would make it through.

[MySugaree]

I had a lengthy affair with a woman (who also was married with young children) at work. When my wife discovered the affair, and especially its length, she was devastated. Nevertheless, she wanted us to remain together (we're the parents of two late teenagers).

 

Unfortunately, the affair destroyed all my affectional ties to my wife, who's a very good woman, and I left. I live close-by and remain very involved in my childrens' lives, and they in mine. I also have a constructive and amicable relationship with my ex-wife.

 

As for the other woman, she's still married, and she still calls. I will have nothing to do with her, anymore. Never again will I sleep with a married woman. Never.

 

The harm we cause in the name of "love".

[Buttaflyy]

I've been reading this thread and I must say Mascara, you are downright mean. More like, the female dog another poster alluded to, Would you say the following to the MM's poor wife:

 

You. Weren't. Worth. The. Hassle. (of keeping my dick in my pants)

 

 

Take the stick out of your behind, "hun," and have a little compassion. Isn't that what this board is for??

 

You misunderstood what Mascara said. The remark you quoted was referenced to the OP. She said in a nutshell that there is no excuse for the OW(OP here) thinking that she was better (closer to MM) then his wife was. The OP stated that he wouldn't leave his W because financially he'd be ruined. Mascara's answer to the OP was simply "You. Weren't. Worth. The. Hassle".

 

Please read all of the thread before placing judgement, and picking out one quote.

[saintfrancis]

I understood her quote to mean exactly what you said, and I stand by my opinion that it came off very mean-spirited. Mascara undoubtedly would not say the same thing to a W in pain, why would she say such a thing to an OW in pain?

 

I am reading through this entire thread as we speak, and was already more than halfway through when I posted above.

[saintfrancis]

Truth be told there were many quotes I wanted to pick out as unnecessarily cutting against the OW here. But that particular one just made me cringe more than the others.

[Buttaflyy]

I understood her quote to mean exactly what you said, and I stand by my opinion that it came off very mean-spirited. Mascara undoubtedly would not say the same thing to a W in pain, why would she say such a thing to an OW in pain?

 

I am reading through this entire thread as we speak, and was already more than halfway through when I posted above.

 

OK, I thought you said something about her being the wife herself. I can agree that there are definitely plenty of mean things said in this thread...and lots of misunderstandings as well.

 

But, we've all got our opinions. I'm curious to know why you singled that out? Why you saw that as the harshest thing said?

[saintfrancis]

I think because of the terseness. You. Were. Not. Worth. The. Hassle. That's f***ing harsh in my opinion, and uncalled for. It's harsher than saying the same thing, but stated this way:

 

"MM probably thought it wasn't worth the effort to give up his life and possessions, etc. in order to start all over again with you."

 

That, or something to that effect, would have sent a similar enough message, without the completely unnecessary axe-swinging, ice-pick tone.

[bullhunter]

and you really dont see the hypocrisy is this last paragraph?

 

Newby, did you read what I said here?

 

What I did with it was shameful. What I did was shameful. I will carry that shame for the rest of my life. I will carry regret for the pain I caused my wife the rest of my life. There is no excuse for what I did, and I take full responsibility for what I did.

 

I would have liked to see the OW take responsibility for what SHE did. I started reading and writing on this forum, hoping against hope that somewhere, sometime I'd see at least one woman admit to the manipulation that went on on her side, because I doubt that the woman who manipulated me was the ONLY ONE out there to do that.

 

so no, I don't see any hypocrisy to what I said here:

 

I used to think that all people at core took responsibility for their own actions, and owned their own pain. I've changed my point of view. The women that I've encountered on these boards, with very few exceptions seem intent on blaming the man for everything

[newbby]

bullhunter, i think that the women who mainly frequent these boards, are those who were manipulated by a mm.

of course you feel terrible for the pain you caused your wife. she is after all the one who you love. you do not feel terrible for the pain you caused the ow, after all, you did not much like her. so you only feel bad for hurting the one you love.

ow rarely even know the wife, some have not even seen her, and yet you expect them to feel as remourseful towards the wifes pain as you do. you on the other hand did know the ow, and still do not feel bad for the pain that you caused her.

do you not see this as hypocritical?

i would also like to add, that most of the ow who i have spoken to, do feel for the wife, but usually after they have realised the extent of mm's lies, and realise that the wife had no idea that the marriage was good as dead, and they were sleeping in seperate rooms, and had not slept together for years!

[saintfrancis]

So simple as that sounds, to know whether a MM loves you is whether he leaves. The second he gives you any kind of excuse why he cannot do it right NOW, he is lying.

 

 

AMEN!

 

 

I believe the book you're thinking of is "He's Just Not That Into You" - yes?

[bullhunter]

bullhunter, i think that the women who mainly frequent these boards, are those who were manipulated by a mm.

of course you feel terrible for the pain you caused your wife. she is after all the one who you love. you do not feel terrible for the pain you caused the ow, after all, you did not much like her. so you only feel bad for hurting the one you love.

ow rarely even know the wife, some have not even seen her, and yet you expect them to feel as remourseful towards the wifes pain as you do. you on the other hand did know the ow, and still do not feel bad for the pain that you caused her.

do you not see this as hypocritical?

i would also like to add, that most of the ow who i have spoken to, do feel for the wife, but usually after they have realised the extent of mm's lies, and realise that the wife had no idea that the marriage was good as dead, and they were sleeping in seperate rooms, and had not slept together for years!

Newby, although I know you don't believe it, the ow started this mess by being deceitful to me. She portrayed herself (much as most mm portray themselves to ow) as a friend - simply a friend with absolutely NO ulterior motives. Every step to move beyond that friendship was initiated by her, not me.

 

I was talking about the pain, and owning that pain. I do not expect the ow to own my wife's pain, nor do I expect the ow to feel remorse for causing that pain. I caused it, she didn't - at least not directly - I own that pain. I also own my pain, as what I did was a terrible thing.

 

I do not, however, own the ow's pain. She owns it. She had control at every step of her own actions. Anything and everything that she did and felt was totally in her control. At every step she knew I was married. She made the steps anyway.

 

Of course I lied to her, but I never lied about being married. Her pain is hers, not mine, and I'm sure you don't agree.

[BUTAFLY]

Newby, did you read what I said here?

 

 

I would have liked to see the OW take responsibility for what SHE did. I started reading and writing on this forum, hoping against hope that somewhere, sometime I'd see at least one woman admit to the manipulation that went on on her side, because I doubt that the woman who manipulated me was the ONLY ONE out there to do that.

 

How did a single woman manipulate a MM into cheating? Did she tell you how handsome your are? wear revealing clothing? put a switch in her walk when she knew you were watching? did she lean into you and whisper sweet nothings? tell you how nice you smelled perhaps? of course your a man- how could you resist right? OH how about telling you your wife is no good and she is better for you?

Sorry, I don't mean to make fun of this but I hope your not trying to get us to buy "She made me do it" excuse.

 

Of course I lied to her, but I never lied about being married

And those steps she made were based on your lies