How Do Wives Do It?

[casoria99]

Again this is grade school.

 

Fighting other women and thinking you are the winner. No your man wins. You are just another woman but the woman with the house. Okay?

 

Yes, you might have had a lot of conversations, but why couldn't he come to you to openly tell you about his desires for another woman? Why couldnt' he come to you to tell you the truth about YOU? You gave vows, too, that you could be talked to. You gave vows that you would honor and respect his feelings too.

 

And he doesn't want to lose the house. You are picked not because of some grandiose love but because it's cheaper to keep her. If he didn't have the house and the kids and the alimony, you would be in the same situation as any woman that doesn't have her name on the deeds.

 

Okay? I am not trying to be hurtful, but I am also on the outside looking in and telling you what he said when I was lying my head in his chest and that was on a day that we didn't make love.

[Mascara]

LOL again.

 

Why isn't he with you? Oh yeah, the money and the house. Yawn. What else is he going to tell you? So naive it's tragic.

 

Don't mean to be hurtful either, but honey it's because you weren't worth the hassle.

 

Oh yeah - just to remind you again, I am not the wife.

[Buttaflyy]

Again this is grade school.

 

Fighting other women and thinking you are the winner. No your man wins. You are just another woman but the woman with the house. Okay?

 

Yes, you might have had a lot of conversations, but why couldn't he come to you to openly tell you about his desires for another woman? Why couldnt' he come to you to tell you the truth about YOU? You gave vows, too, that you could be talked to. You gave vows that you would honor and respect his feelings too.

 

And he doesn't want to lose the house. You are picked not because of some grandiose love but because it's cheaper to keep her. If he didn't have the house and the kids and the alimony, you would be in the same situation as any woman that doesn't have her name on the deeds.

 

Okay? I am not trying to be hurtful, but I am also on the outside looking in and telling you what he said when I was lying my head in his chest and that was on a day that we didn't make love.

 

I don't know whom your directing this too, but I'm not the W. I'm actually looking on the outside in and I can see what you obviously can't.

[bunset]

Yes, there is the golden rule: do unto others.

I have no malice for an OW. I do not hold 'her' responsible for my M.

Because I would prefer that it stand strong, regardless of outside influences... human or not.

Should I be pissed at my husband's employer because it demands more hours than I like?

Should I hate his family because someone becomes ill and requires extra care and attention that also drains energy and resources from our M.

How about the horrible weather catastrophes that tear apart my home?

How about my H health problems that prevent him from fulfilling some of my needs?

Or the individual that that a seizure behind the wheel of their car and struck my H, causing those injuries?

What is the point of the anger and malice?

Shock, yes. Acceptance... difficult.

Why can't an A be considered like some sort of natural disaster or accident?

(Because you can only control so much of your own life and actions..not others')

Why so much lack of self-responsibility and control for one's own reaction to such things?

[casoria99]

I am not speaking to anyone in particular, just telling my opinion about it.

And not angry or overly emotional about this. I am just telling you a different side.

 

All I am telling you is that WE AS WOMEN are the problem and many of us don't see our parts as a collection of women.

 

We can all stop this together.

 

Haven't you ever had a friend who was dealing with a man that was trifling? You gave her advice and told her but yet she still continued with him. That's because you are on the outside and detached. I am detached from my married man physically and am dealing with the pain of his pure existence on earth, so I see a full picture of him.

 

It doesn't mean he loves you more. He loves you because you took him back and helped him keep his tangibles. It's more convenient than being with another woman and building a new castle. That's why you are staying with him because it's more convenient than dealing wtih the unknown.

[Buttaflyy]

Yes, there is the golden rule: do unto others.

 

Either you abide by this or you don't, respect it not, if you do, enough said nothing else would follow.

 

Why can't an A be considered like some sort of natural disaster or accident?

 

There is nothing natural about it. Unless you have this mind frame and take to sleeping with someone else's man.

 

Why so much lack of self-responsibility and control for one's own reaction to such things?

I don't quite understand this part. It seems that it's assumed that the wife doesn't is accepting of her H's part in it. What the couple goes through is separate from her feelings toward the OW.

[TheDiva]

I must be really tired, because all this thread question seems to boil down to is an OW asking

 

" How could his wife have sex with him,"

 

And the justifications for why he should be with the OW instead of the W, is like the bible thumpers association that picks and chooses scriptures to interpret without using the whole verse entire verses.

 

So what I seeing in the thread is

 

Its ok for the OW to have sex with MM. NOT ok for the Wife to have sex with her husband. (when she wants to) The art of conversation doesn't exist in marriage, only in affairs...

 

Or maybe I am just really tired.

[Mascara]

My man lost the house and half his income. He didn't care, it got him out of the marriage. That was worth more to him than bricks and mortar.

 

You. Weren't. Worth. The. Hassle.

 

End of story.

[Buttaflyy]

I am not speaking to anyone in particular, just telling my opinion about it.

And not angry or overly emotional about this. I am just telling you a different side.

 

All I am telling you is that WE AS WOMEN are the problem and many of us don't see our parts as a collection of women.

 

We can all stop this together.

 

Haven't you ever had a friend who was dealing with a man that was trifling? You gave her advice and told her but yet she still continued with him. That's because you are on the outside and detached. I am detached from my married man physically and am dealing with the pain of his pure existence on earth, so I see a full picture of him.

 

It doesn't mean he loves you more. He loves you because you took him back and helped him keep his tangibles. It's more convenient than being with another woman and building a new castle. That's why you are staying with him because it's more convenient than dealing wtih the unknown.

 

Believe me, I have no interest in this one way or the other. I am not a W. But wrong is wrong and that's the point that I'm trying take make. About WOMEN betraying other women, in general. Believe me hun, I've been in YOUR shoes. The shoe did fit at a time, but depending on how you handle the situation determines whether your the victim or not. Who needs to take responsibilty here really?

 

For your own sake, I'm going to tell you that your resentment and anger toward the W is unwarranted. You are too intrested in their R. This will only stagnate your recovery from your own heartache. The bottom line is that if he was genuine with his pillow talk that you believed, he'd be with you. Sorry sweetie, but that's the bottom line. If he was so miserable and knew he had you waiting in the wings. He would have gone for it and left her. If for his own hapiness he would have done this. He lied to you as he lied to his W. You have a hard time believing this.

[Mascara]

What Buttaflyy said.

[TheDiva]

I tried to edit but it wouldn't allow me too. So I guess I really am tired it should read

 

 

And the justifications for why he should be with the OW instead of the W, is like the bible thumpers association that picks and chooses scriptures to interpret without using the entire verses.

[Buttaflyy]

I must be really tired, because all this thread question seems to boil down to is an OW asking

 

" How could his wife have sex with him,"

 

And the justifications for why he should be with the OW instead of the W, is like the bible thumpers association that picks and chooses scriptures to interpret without using the whole verse entire verses.

 

So what I seeing in the thread is

 

Its ok for the OW to have sex with MM. NOT ok for the Wife to have sex with her husband. (when she wants to) The art of conversation doesn't exist in marriage, only in affairs...

 

Or maybe I am just really tired.

 

You're not just tired. from one end this is in fact, what you're hearing. Boy am I tired! Sheesh!

[Buttaflyy]

What Buttaflyy said.

 

I quit! Girl, it's useless.

 

Boy oh boy!

[TheDiva]

You're not just tired. from one end this is in fact, what you're hearing. Boy am I tired! Sheesh!

 

Thank goodness! I was thinking maybe it was me.

 

 

 

All I am telling you is that WE AS WOMEN are the problem and many of us don't see our parts as a collection of women.

 

Yep this is a little true. When women are seeing men as some toy to fight over.

 

Honestly I would do whatever it took to make sure my marriage stayed intact, But if my H honestly, truly felt he would and could be happier with OW I would tell him to go. I don't want to be with someone that has me in his bed and another in his heart. (yes I would be able to tell if he was pining or if it was just a flingy thing. I know him better than he knows himself sometimes because we use C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-I-O-N.

[norajane]

And understand that if I wanted your man and didn't want you to have him, it wouldn't behoove me to tell you what I know. I sure wouldnt' be trying to teach you how to really find the spot in his mind and heart that I found. So dont' get mad, take the advice. Handle the WHOLE TRUTH...not just the small truth to pin everything on the other woman so you can sleep with him.

 

I'm a former OW, sweets, not the W. My statement came from my experiences. The spot in his mind and heart that I had was indeed a spot...a spot I used to pin my hopes upon so I could sleep with him.

 

You shouldn't get mad, either, but take your own advice - you also need to handle the whole truth...that his wife holds the rest of his heart and mind, not just the spot you had in it.

[casoria99]

I'm a former OW, sweets, not the W. My statement came from my experiences. The spot in his mind and heart that I had was indeed a spot...a spot I used to pin my hopes upon so I could sleep with him.

 

You shouldn't get mad, either, but take your own advice - you also need to handle the whole truth...that his wife holds the rest of his heart and mind, not just the spot you had in it.

 

Norajene...sorry but I was writing fast and not really directing it to anyone in particular, and certainly not you. I was writing fast because I had to meet with my personal trainer. And I am just talking out loud. So noone needs to take it personal accept to take it in consideration.

 

I swear this is America where if you come in and express your feelings people are ready to attack you if it goes against the grain. I am not trying to hurt anyone's feelings but when a society of women as a whole sleep with married men and then the wives take the men back and sleep with them, we are all in the boat and all responsible for allowing men to continue. How do we as women stop this?

 

The biggest problem with women is that we do not have UNITY and EMPATHY toward one another as women. And we all let men off the hook too easily because we love him. We give him the power to choose and then try to walk around strutting like peacocks saying it's because he loves one more over the other.

 

If women, especially wives, think that he loves them more because he got busted and now remorseful, then wives need to RETHINK what love is. Believe me, I as the other woman is rethinking it!

 

Norajene, I do know that I was in a spot but it was big enough for him to violate his vows and betray his spouse, tell me he couldn't stand his wife and that he wished he never married her because he wouldn't have been manipulated into giving her everything. I didn't betray her. He did. But the thing is that the wives need to get inside that spot and find out what makes him tick in there. Not just the part about him having an affair and for how long. But find out what he really liked about me. And that's why I say that you should allow him to really tell you the truth about his feelings without condemnation and it doesn't always have to end with "but wife, I picked you." Allow him to tell you his deepest sexual desires that might include more than just you. And be open to allowing him to express it.

 

Oh believe me, I know that my MM didn't want to be with me and I am not dealing with a fantasy but with reality. I am on the outside and see the FULLNESS of this betrayal especially knowing that he is lying to her about me (I lured him, I won't leave him alone, blah, blah, blah). And she is just taking it in because she loves him and wants to believe him. But that doesn't mean he is still telling the truth. ADMITTING that he slept around is not the same as telling the wife the entire truth.

 

Women need to quit bickering. Wives you got him. Keep him. Work it out. I am working out with a trainer and getting over my pain and will be smarter and cuter for it and I sure don't have to deal with him any longer. I am not defeated by some cheating, no good, MM. You can have him!

 

But I will tell you this, he does think of the other woman. A day doesn't go by. If they can cover up their actions while they are with the woman, they can cover their thoughts, too. If he is that caring, he will feel remorse for hurting another human being. It might not be while he is waiting for the dust to settle with you. It might not be on Christmas Day either. But those memories will come back and he will feel like crap. You will wonder why he is feeling down or off to himself for a few days. It's because he misses that spot that goes unattended by the wife becasue the wife is afraid to "go there" and he knows that he really hurt another human being. Just because you don't care about my feelings, doesn't stop him from caring even if he can't walk into the livingroom and ask for a moment of silence.

 

Wives, he stays for more than LOVE. Sure he loves you. But he loved me, too. He might tell you it was just physical...but it was love. He picks you because you hold the cards. And most men do not want to give up everything they have to start over.

 

And for the record. I do care for the wife which is the only reason that I am openly telling you my thoughts. But you don't want to listen, you just want to blame the other woman, stick out your tongue and say "I got him!" Have him. I can do better. But try to figure out that spot and be open to dealing with everythign that's in there.

 

And women as a whole need to learn to come together. And if anyone wants to respond to ways that women can come together on both sides, then that would be a nice change of pace in this conversation.

[casoria99]

I mean for all that was accomplished in the women's movement, civil rights movement, gay rights, the million man march, save the whales, save the children, save Michael Jackson's nose (just kidding)....

 

you would think that women could come together to fight adultery no matter what side you are on. And hold men accountable for their straying body parts and slithering words.

[ManAlive]

I’ve been lurking here as a guest for some time; a work colleague who is getting married is forever on here so I came in one day to see why she was never doing any work. I wasn’t going to register, I’ve just been reading posts relevant to my situation. But I have to comment on a few things.

 

I came here hoping to get some insight into the female brain for my situation, but it seems that women are just as clueless about men. So here, if you want it, is the perspective of the MM.

 

First of all let me tell you one crucial thing about men – we are always amazed that any woman agrees to sleep with us. We are always grateful that you are the small percentage that doesn’t turn us down when we come onto you. Don’t dismiss that thought, because for every successful relationship a man has, 20 women have probably said “No thanks”. As a woman, that might be hard for you to understand because as a rule you don’t do the chasing. But men get used to rejection. As a MM this is even more so, because despite what people think, most women will not entertain the idea of sleeping with a MM. So any acceptance we get from someone who will is unusual.

 

So with that in mind, it follows that any woman who does sleep with us (unless she is completely awful) we are going to want to hang onto her, so we can continue to get laid.

 

Got that?

 

Right. In my marriage, like in most, we had a bit of a dip after our second child was born. My W was tired and the “honeymoon” period was over. It was just a dip though, and I knew the deep love I had for my W was the result of a shared history, she had seen me at my best and worst and I wasn’t going anywhere.

 

But I missed the slowing down of sex while the kids were young. We still had sex, but not as often.

 

When I met the OW, she at first wasn’t interested but we got to talking about the little problems I was having in my marriage. I never told her about the good stuff, because when you are upset about something you’re not thinking about that. I noticed that the more I exaggerated what my wife was like, the more affectionate she became, so I carried on. I said some really awful things about my W, things I am ashamed to repeat here. Eventually we started an affair. Finally I was getting the amount of sex I wanted, and I didn’t want that to end.

 

After a while, she went from being cool about everything to getting more and more upset whenever I mentioned my W, kids etc. Over a period of about six months, she went from only being in it for fun like I was, to seeming more intense. To get to the sex, we had to go through a lot of talking about our feelings etc.

 

And frankly, I wanted to get to the sex part, so I told her stuff I shouldn’t have. She would get upset and wonder if I had feelings for her, so I told her that I loved her. She wondered how I could love two people, so I told her that my marriage was over, it was just a loveless arrangement now for the sake of the kids. She asked me if I still slept with my wife. Hell, I may be dumb, but I know the answer to that one.

 

And when I had held her and stroked her hair, told her how much she meant to me, she had sex with me. Mission accomplished. Not necessarily the same day, sometimes she just wanted to know I wanted her for herself. But sex was a big part of our relationship because otherwise what’s the point?

 

As time went on, I got the feeling that she would stop seeing me if I didn’t leave my wife. See my point above – no man wants to lose the sex he’s getting and will do pretty much anything to hang onto it. So I told her what she wanted to hear, and pretty convincingly too. I discovered that most women will think you are amazing for saying you can’t do that to your kids. They will tell you that they couldn’t be with someone who didn’t care that much for the kids anyway. Oh, and the major thing I told her was when she asked me who I would choose if I had to make a choice – of course I told OW that I would choose her.

 

So anyway, a few white lies and she’s agreeing to wait a few years (by which time I hoped I’d have thought of something else), and we’re back to having sex.

 

Eventually, through a mutual “friend”, my W finds out and is distraught. She knew we were going through a not so good time, but unlike me she also knew we would get through it and was prepared to grit her teeth through the not so good times.

 

When my W found out, my world crumbled. I had to face things I hadn’t wanted to face. I had told myself that what my W didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her and didn’t let myself think about the fact I might lose her. Suddenly, all the problems we had been having disappeared, and I saw only the woman who had pledged her life to me, borne my children, held my head when I was sick, made me my favourite sandwiches for lunch. And I had hurt her desperately. And all for someone who was little more than a regular lay for me. Sure I was fond of the OW, but what I felt for her was nothing compared to what my W and our history meant. It took the shock of my W finding out for me to realise that fully.

 

There was no way I was going to leave my W for someone who knew me so little. OW thought she knew me, but that knowledge was based on all the hair-stroking gentle kisses sweet-talk. It was false, to stop her breaking up with me.

 

When I told the OW I was staying with my W, the crap hit the fan and she went hysterical for a while. I’d told my W what I now knew to be the truth – that the OW was just sex and affection. But the OW was threatening to spill the beans on what I had told her. And I had told her those things, but I didn’t want my W to believe they were true, because they weren’t. I did not want to hurt the OW by saying they were all lies, because I didn’t want to mess her up for life. OK, so this is where I become a real bastard. So I met up with the OW one final time, and yes we had sex. I’m not proud of that, but it was a part of convincing her what I told her. I cried and said how much I loved her and wanted her and that my W was holding the kids and the house over my head. I said that I had decided to sacrifice our happiness together and hoped she would understand. Of course she did, because I piled on the flattery tearfully. I held her and buried my face in her neck and she even said I was shaking at one point. She told me she understood and that she would always love me if I changed my mind.

 

I drove away, breathed a huge sigh of relief and went back to my beautiful wife. I cannot now believe my stupidity – that I was willing to risk it all for some woman who I had never spent long periods of time with. The occasional night, one weekend, but apart from that just snatches of time here and there. That isn’t a real relationship. My OW believed we were soulmates, and I used to tell her I agreed. She wasn’t my soulmate. My soulmate is the woman who is there waiting for me every night. The OW and I never got over that honeymoon period (how can you when you don’t share all your life with someone) and as I now know, it’s once that period is over that the real love starts.

 

So why do wives take back cheating partners? I don’t know, but thank god they do. Because otherwise I’d be stuck with someone I’d started off lying to, trying to find a way to get my wife back.

 

Sorry if this all makes me sound cold, I just wanted to state a few hard facts. Because I was that man who whispered love and devotion and promises. I don’t kid myself that anyone is going to apply this to their situation (you’ll tell yourself that your MM is different and he means what he says), but hopefully it might hit home with someone and you’ll stop yourself being hurt before he does it for you. If I could turn back time, I would. Three hurting people would not now be in pain.

[Buttaflyy]

Great post ManAlive. But I think this is the message that most of us were trying to relay to the OP. Seems that we (those of us who disagreed with the OP) have a great understanding of the situation and what you said here. Thanks for your perspective.

[RealityCheck]

I mean for all that was accomplished in the women's movement, civil rights movement, gay rights, the million man march, save the whales, save the children, save Michael Jackson's nose (just kidding)....

 

you would think that women could come together to fight adultery no matter what side you are on. And hold men accountable for their straying body parts and slithering words.

 

I could not agree with you more!

 

I have been on both sides of the fence as a betrayed spouse and an OW.

 

Now, I am not here to judge either party as far as the BS or the OW because every has their own reasons for leaving or staying. I can only speak for myself.

 

I will state for the record as an former OW, it had absolutely nothing to do with low self-esteem as some have made reference too many times in this Forum. I had reasons, but lack of confidence certainly was not one of them!

 

Getting back to being a betrayed spouse. When my exH cheated I was devastated to say the least! Literally sick to my stomach! I couldn't focus, couldn't sleep and couldn't eat! It was as though I was walking dead! I hated the feeling of his betrayal and what HE did to me! All I could think of, was where in our voiws did I ever agree to "love in betrayal". I remember in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, *(which to me would define the ups and downs and phases) of a relationship, but not "love in betrayal".

 

OH! he begged, pleaded and cried for his transgression, but with every tear that fell down his face, there were hundreds of tears that fell from mine. My thoughts were consumed with "how could you".!

 

It was exactly as you mentioned.....

Keeping in mind, I also worked, he came home to a clean house, dinner, and very well behaved kids. He never lacked in the intimate department either! In fact, I believed we had a lot of passion in our marriage. We never went days or weeks without getting to each other! When I asked him "why, why, why", all he kept saying is "Idon't know", "I'm stupid", "I should never have cheated", "it will never happen again" that sort of thing. His response meant nothing! All I could do was look at him and say "pathetic!" I said "All I did was Love you".

 

I tried for a year, because I felt that I owed it not to him, but to myself to see if I could move from my head space. I could not! I could not see the man I married anymore! He killed it! For a year he certainly made a lot of effort to try and get back what we once had, but everytime I looked at him, he only served as a reminder of my pain. His random acts of kindness, I felt were not in the name of love anymore, but a mere band-aid. When he would touch me, my skin would crawl. If he tried to bring humor into our conversation, I felt like he had forgotten his transgressions. Anything he did positively, I did not feel were sincere. That's how deeply he hurt me. I knew I could never love him again. We went to counselling. Counselling helped me to make a decision to leave. Clearly I was no longer happy with my H in my life. I learned to forgive him, but I could never forget.

 

My feelings on the OW in my exH's affair are simple.....

She did not come knocking at my door and say "hello, my name is so and so. You must be the wife. I would like to make out with your H and completely destroy your world!"

 

NO. My exH made that choice.

[norajane]

And women as a whole need to learn to come together. And if anyone wants to respond to ways that women can come together on both sides, then that would be a nice change of pace in this conversation.

 

My view is that we're all in it together - men and women, both - and we all have a part in creating a society that encourages fidelity.

 

It comes down to having a healthy respect for the institution of marriage. We live in a society that teaches children very little about what marriage and commitment are about, and not much more about ethics and consequences of our actions, both external and internal.

 

We're all human and, as such, are prone to mistakes. However, we also raise our children to be ignorant of reality to some degree. How many people get married in their very early 20's with their parent's blessing? How many of those young people know anything about who they are, much less whether this person they've fallen for is someone they could even like 10 years later? Or how the pressures of marriage and life experiences might change them into different people? How many of them have been taught the elements of a successful marriage? How many have been taught to wait to get married until they know the significance of trust, honesty, kindness, generosity, intimacy vs. looks, money, status and lust?

 

Women and men can come together only by respecting each other first...and that's not something children are taught very often, either. Children don't even have respect for their own parents these days, much less other people.

 

It's really not complicated. Married people shouldn't cheat - if you make a lifetime commitment, stick to it. Single people shouldn't get into relationships with those who are married - they are off limits. No exceptions. Any deviation from those rules, and there's no one to blame but yourself for the consequences, whether they be a betrayed spouse's wrath or the loss of your own self-respect.

[bullhunter]

Better yet, bring your man onto the forums and let him tell us what's going on without you standing over him like a hawk. Give him a chance to really express his TRUE FEELINGS about the entire situation. Not just what he tells you because it's what you want to hear and that it will save his worldly possesions. But what's in his heart. You couldn't be unjudgemental and allow him to tell the WHOLE TRUTH. The only honesty that you have so far is that he admitted to being with the other woman but he hasn't told you the complete story and deep down you know that that's why you are still searching for answers.

Bring your man on and allow him to talk about THE REAL YOU, too. Then you might understand why someone else was with him.

I almost never post here anymore, but this I simply must respond to.

 

You see, I am a married man who had an affair. Granted it was an EA rather than a full-fledged all out PA, but an affair, nonetheless. You say you want the MM's true feelings. I can't tell about every MM, I can only tell about myself. I am very ashamed of what I did, but this is the truth.

 

To my OW: I never liked you. If I had like you, I never would have been with you. I know that sounds disgusting, but unfortunately, it is the truth. I never intended to leave my wife. I was angry with her. Unbelievably angry. Anything I did with you was not driven by any kind of love or feelings for you. I had none, other than some degree of disgust. You were nothing, and you meant nothing to me. It wasn't until after I told my wife about it, and SHE pointed out to me that you were hurt by my actions as well that I even slightly considered what, if any, pain you might experience.

 

So that my WHOLE TRUTH. You said the wives couldn't take the WHOLE TRUTH, Casoria. My wife took the WHOLE TRUTH, because I told her the whole truth, every bit of it. Every bit of disgusting feelings, thoughts, actions. All of them. I hid nothing. We are together now because we love each other.

[RealityCheck]

I almost never post here anymore, but this I simply must respond to.

 

You see, I am a married man who had an affair. Granted it was an EA rather than a full-fledged all out PA, but an affair, nonetheless. You say you want the MM's true feelings. I can't tell about every MM, I can only tell about myself. I am very ashamed of what I did, but this is the truth.

 

To my OW: I never liked you. If I had like you, I never would have been with you. I know that sounds disgusting, but unfortunately, it is the truth. I never intended to leave my wife. I was angry with her. Unbelievably angry. Anything I did with you was not driven by any kind of love or feelings for you. I had none, other than some degree of disgust. You were nothing, and you meant nothing to me. It wasn't until after I told my wife about it, and SHE pointed out to me that you were hurt by my actions as well that I even slightly considered what, if any, pain you might experience.

 

So that my WHOLE TRUTH. You said the wives couldn't take the WHOLE TRUTH, Casoria. My wife took the WHOLE TRUTH, because I told her the whole truth, every bit of it. Every bit of disgusting feelings, thoughts, actions. All of them. I hid nothing. We are together now because we love each other.

 

This post is quite harsh towards the OW.

 

By having an affair because you were angry with your wife and then to project even more anger at the OW, leads me to believe you have little respect for women in general.

[bullhunter]

This post is quite harsh towards the OW.

 

By having an affair because you were angry with your wife and then to project even more anger at the OW, leads me to believe you have little respect for women in general.

 

As I said, I'm ashamed of what I did. I was angry with the OW at the time, and in reality for quite some time afterwards. This was the truth of my feelings during the affair.

 

If you are reading anger at the OW into what I wrote here, you are misreading.

[norajane]

This post is quite harsh towards the OW.

 

By having an affair because you were angry with your wife and then to project even more anger at the OW, leads me to believe you have little respect for women in general.

 

Is that really a big surprise? If MM had respect for women, they wouldn't serve either the W or OW with table scraps. MM take a very self-centered view - it's all about what they want/need, and the women in their lives are secondary to that.