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Alternate life, basically cheating...


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pezfallout

So, on a hunch, my girlfriend of 4 years found a life I've been hiding from her that's basically a polar opposite of everything she believes/approves of/is in to. I've tried to tell her why I did it, why I could do it, and how it didn't affect how I felt about her, that the reasons it even happened was a combination of youth factors, self-esteem, and an unjustifiable sense of loneliness whenever I was alone.

 

She feels hurt and betrayed, which is understandable, but I don't know how I can make up for this. She never lies. She's that blunt type that gets on your nerves because she won't even tell a little white one to save anyone some heartache. Here I stand, I basically lied and went behind her back for 4 years.

 

The worst part about all of this is that it all happens days after I made a personal resolution to get over my personal issues and dedicate myself completely to her and I proposed. She still loves me and still wants to plan a marriage but I don't know what to do to show I'm sorry. I can't grasp what I can do beyond flowers or gifts. I don't know how to prove to her that she really has been the only one I've loved, regardless of my actions...

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I think you are a very lucky guy that she still wants to marry you. How do you prove yourself? By not cheating anymore, and being patient with her if/when she ever becomes suspicious of you or points her finger at you even when you have done nothing wrong. You have broken her trust, and the biggest healer is time.

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