Re: Viagra???

[Totally Confused]

After several months of dating, my BF and I have been living together for about 6wks. In the beginning things were pretty hot. Now sexual encounters are far and few between. He tells me he loves me and I love him dearly as well, but he never wants to have sex anymore. He's not a real affectionate person, but I am. I've come to accept that, although I'm dying for some human contact. I'm a very touchy/feely person. I didn't realize this about him until after we had lived together for a while. We are both in our late 30's and I have finally found the love of my life, so I'll do anything to keep him. He spends a lot of time on the web sex pages. I don't mind that, I hoped that it would give him some some incentive because apparently I'm not even though I try. What am I doing wrong?

I'm going to be totally honest with you. and i'm sorry if it hurts, but it's true. the 2 of you moved in together very quickly. you may think you know each other, but after a couple of months you really don't. when a man pulls away sexually, it's because they're losing interest in the relationship and the initial nostalgia has worn off, plus they're feeling trapped and resentful toward you for it. that is why moving in together was a big big big big mistake. if you hadn't moved in with him, things would probably still be progressing along at a smooth pace. now you know to never to do this with another man ever again. i don't think it's because he's found another woman, it's because he's re-evaluating his feelings and he's feeling trapped like he's made a mistake moving in. when a man feels trapped and resentful (even if he also decided it was a good idea to move in together) that apendage shuts down. my suggestion to you is to move out or have him leave ASAP, if you really want to keep this guy. it's not going to work out if you stay living with him. it's only going to get worse and then the fighting will start and you'll notice he'll be distancing himself, drinking, or staying away from the apartment more and more and eventually he will cheat on you and want you to find out so you will kick him out. you'll end up more miserable 1 mo. from now, than you are now. if you or he leaves, i guarantee, he'll get upset or stressed that he's going to lose you and mr. apendage will shoot right back up -no viagra necessary. If i were you, i'd sit down and discuss this with him, you'll find out that the living situation is the real problem, but you've got to ask him. and in the future, if you two decide to move in together, wait until you've been dating at least 2 yrs. and you know you want to spend the rest of your lives together.

[dl]

Some words of advice from one who is there.... My husband of 18 years and I had a very low level of sex during the two years we were dating before we got married. At the time I thought it was a little unusual but it never really bothered me. He was less experienced than I was and I felt I should and would give him time to get more comfortable with it in his own mind. After we got married, it continued in the same vein for some time until I started talking about it. Nothing was resolved. Time went by, we discussed it again - nothing. It's continued this way all these years. Now it's 18 years later and I can say we've probably had sex 20 times in 18 years, it's a major point of contention and resentment (on my part) in our marriage and discolors everything about our marriage. So, if you are an intimate person, like being touched and held and having loving sexual encounters with your mate, this is not the person for you - he is already pulling away from it.

 

Additionally, if he is just mooching off you now, and he is, it will only get worse if you're married. You may find yourself being the sole financial support in your marriage and this is not a situation you want to find yourself in. It will only cause resentment and bitterness down the road.