Guest Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 Me and my gf just broke up a couple weeks ago. Previously she had about a year long relationship. She broke up with me becuase she said that her feelings for her ex were too strong and it wasnt fair for her. Basically she didnt know what she wanted. Of course, she gets back together with him. In doing she she told her ex that she still had strong feelings for me. And now she wants to be friends and says: she still wants to hang out a lot and that she still wants to be with me and she wants to continue what we had if something goes wrong and also that she doesnt want to get over me. Now we both agree what we had was different than every other relatioship but we were only seriously dating for a couple of months. Now I dont know what to do. I've tried hanging out with her twice and both times something happened at the last minute and she told me that it was her bf that didnt want her seeing me and he was like controling her. But now she says that she doesnt care what he thinks any more and is willing to hang out. So what to do now? I know she still has feelings for me so do I A) be " friends " and hang out with her. or B) dont be in contact with her for a while so she realizes what I meant to her. In doing this I risk her getting over me and then she'll have no feelings for me and Ill have no chance. This one is a keeper so what should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
BatteredByLove Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 If this one was a "keeper" she wouldn't go back to her ex. Start NC, give her time to think about what she wants, she clearly doesnt know what's going on in her world, NC helps you think about your own self, about what's going on in the world around you, take a step back, relax, chill and let time decide, as for now, NC is best. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 If this one was a "keeper" she wouldn't go back to her ex. Start NC, give her time to think about what she wants, she clearly doesnt know what's going on in her world, NC helps you think about your own self, about what's going on in the world around you, take a step back, relax, chill and let time decide, as for now, NC is best. yea but if I do that I risk her getting over me. And like thats what her ex did. he f***ed up our relationship by being around her..he called her...was around her because they have the same friends. But still NC is the best bet to get her back? Link to post Share on other sites
gfto Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 I know she still has feelings for me No, she doesn't. In doing this I risk her getting over me She was over you a long time ago. This one is a keeper so what should I do? Any woman who is still hung up on an ex-boyfriend is not a keeper. Get new phone numbers. Link to post Share on other sites
scrybe74 Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 yea but if I do that I risk her getting over me. She is over you. She wants her cake and to eat it too. She's SLEEPING with another guy for pete's sake! Is your self esteem and self respect so low that you can't let go of her? And like thats what her ex did. he f***ed up our relationship by being around her..he called her...was around her because they have the same friends. Listen very carefully youngin', He. did. not. f*ck up your relationship. She CHOSE him over YOU. If she was serious about you....any man hanging around her wouldn't have swayed her. There are plenty (thousands....millions) of women who are capable of being in a relationship with one man without being sweet talked out of it. She let her self get sweet talked....but it was her that was talking. But still NC is the best bet to get her back? Listen again....NC is not a tool to manipulate someone. It never works if you do it to get someone back. Why??? Because 9 times out of ten you don't get the result that you want. NC is for your benefit....not to teach someone else a lesson. You need to break off contact so you can think straight (which you certainly are not right now) When you finally get a clear head you'll realize that you deserve better treatment than that and will demand it by your refusal to be played for a fool. (which you are now) Get it through your skull that she left you. If....If after NC you contacts you and wants to get back together....you must decide whether to take her back or not. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
Chinook Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 Me and my gf just broke up a couple weeks ago. Previously she had about a year long relationship. She broke up with me becuase she said that her feelings for her ex were too strong and it wasnt fair for her. That's where it ended... right there. Basically she didnt know what she wanted. Of course, she gets back together with him. In doing she she told her ex that she still had strong feelings for me. Woaaaah! She has you TWO running around after her now..? And now she wants to be friends and says: she still wants to hang out a lot and that she still wants to be with me and she wants to continue what we had if something goes wrong and also that she doesnt want to get over me. In the UK we call that having your cake and eating it.. or covering your bases... or being second best. Uh uh no thanks. Not for me. Now we both agree what we had was different than every other relatioship but we were only seriously dating for a couple of months. Now I dont know what to do. I've tried hanging out with her twice and both times something happened at the last minute and she told me that it was her bf that didnt want her seeing me and he was like controling her. But now she says that she doesnt care what he thinks any more and is willing to hang out. This guy made her do these things... to him and you...? She's yanking both your chains. Sorry but she doesn't respect you OR HIM. So what to do now? I know she still has feelings for me No, she doesn't. Sorry, if she did she wouldn't be doing this. so do I A) be " friends " and hang out with her. or B) dont be in contact with her for a while so she realizes what I meant to her. She already had a shot at realising what you meant to her and look how she's treating you. You're setting yourself up for the Noble Doormat role.... forever living in hope whilst being run up and down that old love rollercoaster. In doing this I risk her getting over me and then she'll have no feelings for me and Ill have no chance. This one is a keeper so what should I do? She isn't a keeper. A keeper wouldn't treat you or HIM this way. She has no feelings for you at all. If she did she would love and respect you implicitly without reservation. What do you do...? You walk. You don't look back. No contact is for moving on. It is not for getting her back. Link to post Share on other sites
Da_1_n_OnlyN3na Posted July 8, 2006 Share Posted July 8, 2006 originally posted by Guest And now she wants to be friends and says: she still wants to hang out a lot and that she still wants to be with me and she wants to continue what we had if something goes wrong first of all i agree with who ever said she wants the cake and eat it too...this gurl wants to keep you around just in case something goes wrong with her ex.....you said it yourself.....dont you get it? shes not a keeper if shes doing this to you, she doesnt know what she wants. A keeper is someone who is worth everything who always sticks around even on youre bad times happy times whenever who is always there for you when ever you need her....does she do that? no its the opposite she wants YOU to stick around so she can come back when ever she wants to...she doesnt have that much feelings towards you to tell you the truth..excuse the language but she just wants some ass lol if she gets bored of the other guys-u know- downstairs friend- shes going to come back to you watch out dont fall for people like her lol some gurls are EVIL!!! but not all others are KEEPERS! Link to post Share on other sites
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