Does anyone feel the same way I do about this ...her with my man

[drkhairbeauty]

Ok. I'm going to try and make this short.

 

There is this girl that works with my boyfriend. She has grown up with the family so to speak. We've been together for almost 3 1/2 years now. My boyfriend owns his business with his parents. It's family run. A concrete/mini storage thing. Anyways, she (up until recently) has only worked around the place doing odd jobs. I was always OK with that.

 

The past few months (about 2), she's been going on jobs with my boyfriend and starting to involve herself into personal aspects of his life. For example, we were supposed to go camping a few weekends ago. It was going to be my boyfriend, me, his best friend, and a few of his friends going up to his parent's cabin. He told me it was only gonna be us.

 

Well, I saw this girl at the "shop" and she said, "Oh, it's too bad that you guys aren't going camping, cuz it would have been fun." My boyfriend had last minute jobs, so we couldn't go at the last minute. Well, SHE WAS GOING. He already knows that she makes me uncomfortable when she's around him so much. I told him that without nagging or ragging.

 

So, the 4th of July he knew for two weeks that I was going to my parents because they are getting older and I needed to be with them. Boring as it would be, about a week before the holiday he kept saying, "What are you going to do for 4th?" HE KNEW!! He said that he was invited to go to the same cabin again and how much fun it was going to be, but that I would probably feel weird up there because of some of his best friend-friends ... totally putting words in my mouth. It made me feel like he was trying to make me not go. I said, "Well who will be up there?" He said immediate family and that's it.

 

Well, two days before I showed up at the shop and he was inside with the girl, his best friend and some chick that his friend picked up the night before. I walked up and I just heard, "We could leave early in the morning," from his friend. Then they saw me and stopped talking about it. I didn't say anything. I just asked, "Oh, who's going up to the cabin for the 4th?" The "picked up chick" said that she might go but didn't know and the girl that works at the shop said she was. I was soooooooo pissed. I didn't act it, though.

 

We went upstairs and he was getting clothes to come to my house. He was obviously mad at me because I told him the other day that the girl makes me feel uncomfortable and I feel threatened by her. I never told him what to do about it, I only stated what I felt. It was up to him to deal with it, however. He was acting like such an ass to me, because he's feeling like he shouldn't go up there (because SHE'S going up there and didn't want any problems with me). I told him that is his decision. He knows how I feel about her.

 

The night before the 4th, he told his friend that he wasn't going because I have a problem with the girl being up there. So, his friend said that he would tell her, no, not to go (since she kind of invited herself anyways, my boyfriend said). I told him, "Hey, go up there and have fun." She wasn't going up there and I didn't feel threatened (I didn't tell him that part). He said he wasn't going and he went to the shop and worked all day. He didn't come to my parents with me or anything. I didn't talk to him all day.

 

Last night, he informed me "Hey, it's a good thing I didn't go up there, cuz she was up there!" I have an idea that they were all planning on meeting at the shop, loading their dirt bikes up (girl has one) and going up together. I don't have a bike. He said that the girl gets on his nerves ... bla bla ... but yet, he takes her on jobs with him that he's always done alone since I've known him. All of a sudden he needs her to help??? My son's friend comes in this evening and says, "Hey, I saw your boyfriend today, he waved at me." and "There was some blonde girl with him" and he was pulling the concrete pump."

 

I am so mad right now. I hate to be jealous but I am feeling threatend by this girl. Why the hell, if she bugs him so badly, is she going with him on jobs all of a sudden and he's wanting to do things that he knows she's going to be at? He obviously hasn't done anything about it.

 

She doesn't have to go on jobs with him, or get lunch with him. He's always done it alone. I don't want to mention this to him yet cuz it will end up in an argument. Yet, isn't it true that if you start hanging around with someone of the opposite sex enough (she's cute too) and spending the day working together that feelings could come up?

 

I just don't think he should put himself into a position to let that happen. I sound like a jealous winch I know, but do I have good reason? My gut just won't let it rest. There were a few other times that she was with him not work related such as going with him to pick up a car and then going to Carls Jr. for lunch.

 

He mentioned to her that I had a problem with her riding around with him..that i didn't like. OK. I'll stop ... Please help me before he comes down tonight. I need some advice on if I should continue on with this relationship feeling like I do or just let him go since he isn't changing anything about it. I don't ask much from him at all. I never have...just this girl thing that makes me very uncomfortable recently. HELP

[lovestruck234]

G'day,

 

Ok. Wow, so much for making it a short thread. Lol doesn't bother me....

 

So before I begin if you would like to (if you have time) to read the thread I have been writing in helping out a girl with a jealousy problem. It's called "but he never calls me beautiful..". I have been helping this girl out for about a week and there is some advice I gave her that she found really helpful. If you'd like, have a scan of that. I've found by helping this girl it has made me less jealous as well, and I'm getting so much better at controling my jealousy probelm.

 

Ok, so YOUR problem. No offence, but your bf, what a dick! Sorry. Ok, now that's out of the way, is this the same girl you mentioned in your other posts? By the way, did you change your name as well? Anyway, if this is the same girl you were talking about in your other post, does she know that he's with you? I'm not sure if you've mentioned that before in previous post(s). If she DOES know that your together, time to ANIALATE! (If that's how you spell it). She is a dog if she does know. I can just tell that she knows full well that you get pissed off with her being around your bf. She knows for sure, and she's doing it for that reason.

 

If you have already talked to him about it making you feel uneasy, he shoudln't still be doing it.

 

Maybe one day when you've got nothing on, ask him if you can spend the day with him at work and go out with him to jobs etc as your really curious to learn about his job. See what he says...if you do end up going, make sure you make it really enjoyable and so he loved the day he spent with you...

 

Bottom line. Tell him straight out that you really don't like this girl and that you hate him spending time with her as much as he does. Ask him why she goes out on more jobs with him now when she never used to, and why the FRIGGEN HELL the both of them have lunch together??? Grr! That would piss me off! I'm not sure whether you have a job, but if you do, tell him your going out to lunch with a fellow work mate (male) and really go, lets see how HE reacts in this situation! Cos by the sounds of things, you've stuck by him and haven't done anything like this to him, so he's taking advantage of that, by thinking "Oh, she'll always be there to fall back on, she doesn't care if I hang out with this girl etc etc" and you DO!!

 

Guys have trouble seeing shades of grey. Tell him in black and white that your just NOT picking up what he's putting down. That you down right hate it!

 

Do you feel as though you still trust him and just don't trust this other girl? Or vice versa? If the first option is the case, tell him that too. Tell hi that your loosing trust in him because of it.

 

It looks like to two of you are drifting apart. Tell him that too. Really, he should be having lunch with YOU on his break, not some girl he works with, he should be going camping with YOU and not inviting anyone else.

 

 

Actually my bf and I are going to the snow in August and it was originally going to be just us two, then he comes out and says the other night "Oh, my Uncle is coming with the snow too" ahem....Your UNCLE??? WTF?? GRRRRRRRRRR!!! I acted happy about it but man oh man, what is with men???????? I don't want his f*kin UNCLE to come!!!! He reckons he'll probably change his mind...hmmm...he better...

 

 

Anyway, back to you. I'm a little stuck for what to say here but I think try talking to him again and just, like I said, tell him straight out that your fed up with this SH*T and it either stops, by that, I mean, if this girl really does get on his nerves, then he has to tell her, or you will. One way or the other, play time is over, children.

 

You don't have to sit back and put up with this. Put your foot down!

 

Anyway, I strongly recommend you read the thread "but he never calls me beautiful.." I think it will help you ALOT!!

 

By the way, you're probably waaay hotter than this chick anyway, just cos she rides dirt bikes and you don't, you're probably better in the sack than her! For sure!!

[john2776]

Firstly, I think that your feelings are valid. Ideally after talking to him, he would simply spend less time with her and more with you. But what to do if he doesn't? I think this is such a grey area. Given your objections, if he continues the way he does, it probably means he is at least a bit of a selfish person. Is this reason to break-up? Personally I don't think so - especially if everything else is great in the relationship. Make your feelings very clear to him and hopefully he will understand.

[lovestruck234]

I totally agree...

[drkhairbeauty]

yes. SHe's the one in the other posts. Yes I changed my name. Didn't like the other one. I tried talking to him about it last night. He just gets defensive and I hate to freakn argue. I didn't do it in a confrontational way. I just simply (again) told him that she makes me uncomfortable and that working at the shop is understandable but her starting to "invite herself" (so he says) into personal parts of our lives just isn't good. He has always told me "she works for me". Well, she's never worked so closely with him before. I just don't understand the change. I have been burned twice before and he knows this. The circumstances were a little different but not much. These two other times were both "she's just a friend" and "like a sister to me"..bla bla...they ended up screwing each other. Granted, I don't think that would happen in this case but I am bringing a little evil into the relationship from my past two bad times. He knows this. His remark last night when I was talking to him about it was "well, my friends girl (one night stand) didn't mind Drew going up there and she wasn't going". THAT IS SO DIFFERENT. If I just met someone hell ya I'd be like the "cool chick" and say it wouldn't bother me either...but I have just over three years invested in this man and I don't want him to be putting himself into any situations that might progress with some kind of feelings. He does say that she gets on his nerves and all that. It might be true. He also says that He doesn't know what to do about all this with her. last night he said "well why don't you just tell her that you have a problem with her"..kind of sarcastic like. if I did that, then his mom and sister would probably think I'm a s***. She is close to the family you know. I think i might feel different (a tad) if he were to just say to me at the end of the day..hey this girl (leaving out name) went on some jobs with me today just wanted you to know. I think that would be cooler than not saying s*** to me and I hear it from some other kid later. Oh yeah, I told him that my sons friend saw him and he said "oh ya I saw him too" . He never mentioned having Drew with him until I asked. I'm sure I would lose him if I continue to bring this s*** up. It just bugs me EVERY DAY. Yes, I work. I own my own business. I work hard every day. SInce he got back from his trip over a month ago he has been at my house EVERY night. I just don't know if I have a right to feel this way. I don't care if the other girl - one night stand from his freind is okay with those kinds of things....I"M NOT HER AND I DON'T FEEL THAT WAY. Am I really just analyzing things to much? He does eat out every day tho. SOmetimes he skips breakfast so I'm sure he takes her on the way from a job. Still tho. I'm wondering if I should just keep silent about things from this point. It eats at me every day and I hate it.

[drkhairbeauty]

Oh yeah..he's 27 I'm 37 and shes 19:o

[drkhairbeauty]

and yes she knows he and I are together. I've known her since day one.

[nicki]

Hey, I completely understand where you are coming from

 

He is an idiot for telling this other girl ANYTHING that you say. That just fits into her little plan of getting him (if she has one.)

 

He should back himself off of being around her and say NOTHING to her -- except that he is busy, and that he is very happy with his girlfriend.

 

So, does he go to lunch with male buddies, or just her? If he is friendly with all the guys at work, then I understand him treating her like he does them. Lunch once in a while might be okay, but only if there is no attraction on either side...and you know about any lunches, and have a standing invitation to any lunch, too.

 

But don't believe him when he says that she "gets on his nerves." I'll bet that he is flattered by her attention, especially when he tells her how jealous you are and she plays coy by saying "Oh, really? I had no idea."

 

Yeah, right. You have good instincts. He should be more sensitive, especially in light of your past experiences with cheaters. I like your idea of telling him how you feel and letting HIM figure out what to do.

 

I once read that we should step back and see what people freely give. Keeping that in mind has cut down on my demanding attitude. Now I make requests to change behavior. I don't demand. I let people know how I feel, and what I would like them to do about it.

 

If he is clueless, then you may have to tell him what you want. For instance, having lunch with you, not her (unless maybe in a group?) And not telling her anything that you say. And not doing anything she would consider to be flirting.

 

Oh, and I would drop the hint that you have a hottie work vendor/associate who asks you out to lunch all the time....but you didn't think that you should do that given the fact you have a boyfriend.

 

Sorry this is so long! I know how you feel. Good luck!

[drkhairbeauty]

He goes to lunch with her. I'm not sure if it's every day, but still. They do a job then grab a bite on the way back to the shop and I'm 99.9 percent sure that he picks up the tab. She's very tomboy....rides dirt bikes, won rodeo queen this year, bla bla bla....some people would think she's gay, but she's not. So, she's not to girly girly but very "cool girl" and cute. Just a little description. He did back off a little by not going to the 4th party because he knew I'd be pissed if she was up there. I will give him credit for that one, but he didn't come down and spend it with me either. I have explained my feelings about things with her, but the work thing just isn't changing. I told him last night that I had a few days off next week and want to go on jobs with him and learn the ropes ;-). He said okay. Now I'm worried because she's been going on so many with him that now I'm going to look like a dumb ass. Oh well. I want him to know exactly how I feel but I don't want to keep mentioning it every day. Is it to much to ask him just to mention to me the days that he has her on a job with him and if they went to lunch? It would be nice if he just mentioned it on his own knowing how much it bugs me. I don't want to be jealous/demanding/controling....oh hey, this is good. Last night my cell rang and it was this guy that I had never met. To make a long story short..he was asking me out because he was told that I was single and really good looking and bla bla. A girl from my previous work gave the number to him. My boyfriend was sitting on the couch and I said to caller (Jack) "I'm flattered that you're asking me out but my boyfriend and I got back together". We talked for a few minutes and then hung up. My bf never asked who it was right away. I could tell he got a little bugged. A few minutes went by and he asked "who was that" and "did he ask you out" and "how did he get your number". I told him someone from old work must have given it out. I guess he had an idea of who gave it and said "that f**** fat ass Whor*". Couldn't have been better timing. Anyways, I'm going have my work partners bf's friend come help me with work on Monday and see how that flys with my bf. I'm just so sick of this crap. Your replies are really helping me. How do I bring all this up one last time and get everything out into the open with out him getting mad? I want one time to just say everything and never have to mention it again.

[nicki]

This is something that bothers you. I'm guessing that you don't feel truly heard. That's why it keeps coming up.

 

When confronted, a lot of people get defensive and don't HEAR how the other person is FEELING....Instead of repeating back what the upset person is saying and asking questions, they blow it off or defend themselves. So the person who brought the whole thing up feels frustrated, backs off, and nothing really gets resolved.

 

I think it is perfectly reasonable for your boyfriend to tell you the days this girl is on the job with him. And he should mention when they go to lunch. As another poster said on this site once, it's simply about sharing your day.

 

When he shares what happened during his day, it should come up naturally. No big deal, so he mentions it, right? If he keeps it to himself, it makes you wonder why.

 

Talk to him. Tell him that you feel uncomfortable. You don't know if this girl is after him or not, but he needs to avoid the appearance of inappropriate behavior. That means no trips together without you....think about what else you want him to do and calmly request he do that.

 

Point out how you handled the guy who called you. You let that guy know you were taken. Maybe your boyfriend needs to show through his speech and actions that he is also taken. Decide what that behavior would look like, and ask for that...you have the right to feel secure and happy.

[Guest]

one question - is there a chance that she will ever go away??

 

shes a family friend, she works for him, will this ever end? its hard to ask him to not speak to her because of these factors but if this is going to be an ongoing problem for a while, break it off. its not worth it all.

well i can't really say its not worth it because i don't know your relationship, but he's not making any changes and if they are its very minimal.

i understand about you not wanting to bring it up everyday, i'm sure its dampening what could be a good relationship. this GIRL is getting in your way of a great relationship and hes not doing anything about it. OF COURSE HES NOT GOING TO. hes got the perfect excuses for keeping her around and shes barely legal and cute (so you say).

i don't mean to tell you to break up and then have you regret it, i just know i would be really mad at this point and really considering breaking up with him. i don't know......its tricky

was there ever talk of getting married anytime soon? how serious is your relationship?

[drkhairbeauty]

She's always been AROUND. Just doing pittly things at the shop such as sweeping bla bla little things. She was in high school and going to the shop to work for them for a couple hours a day. Now she's graduated and there all the time working and NOW going on jobs with him. I am not asking that he not speak to her just tone it down. I don't want him having lunch with her and I don't care if its Carls Jr, and I don't want her going on jobs with him unless its absolutely necessary. Get this. Last night my bf and his sister and I joined up for a late movie. It started at 10 so we went to Applebees for a drink beforehand..my bf's sister wasn't there yet. My bf says "hey Drewskies here" (that's the girl) and he said "I have to go say hi". She was there with two of her other friends sitting near us. He got up, left me and went over to say hi. Now, forgive me for being a bitc* but wouldn't it have been a little more respectful towards me if he just waved given that I am sensitive to this one issue? Or no? THen to make it all even better...my bf, his sister and me went over to the movie. Guess who comes in with her two other friends and sits with us? You got it. I am so sick of her being everywhere. My bf obviously knew that wasn't right. I acted cool tho. I didn't get all pissy. I didn't hold my bf hand tho. I was fuming inside and keeping to myself and he sensed it. I didn't say s*** tho. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I'm sure it's harmless and she has no idea, but then again I dont know that and neither does he.

 

My bf and I haven't really talked about marriage. I wouldn't marry him at this point anyways with all this going on. Seeing that how something bothers me so and he isn't doing really much of anything to change it. I love him so much its awful. We went to a wedding yesterday and they were doing the speech stuff saying how these two people are meant to be and bla bla bla. I couldn't help questioning myself "what am I doing with him" and "are we right for each other after all". I have seriously considered breaking up with him over this thing because I don't like going on every day with this knot in my stomach. I want to bring this up to him one more time but unsure how to do it without looking like I am dwelling.

[lovestruck234]

Get this. Last night my bf and his sister and I joined up for a late movie. It started at 10 so we went to Applebees for a drink beforehand..my bf's sister wasn't there yet. My bf says "hey Drewskies here" (that's the girl) and he said "I have to go say hi". She was there with two of her other friends sitting near us. He got up, left me and went over to say hi. Now, forgive me for being a bitc* but wouldn't it have been a little more respectful towards me if he just waved given that I am sensitive to this one issue? Or no? THen to make it all even better...my bf, his sister and me went over to the movie. Guess who comes in with her two other friends and sits with us? You got it. I am so sick of her being everywhere. My bf obviously knew that wasn't right. I acted cool tho. I didn't get all pissy. I didn't hold my bf hand tho. I was fuming inside and keeping to myself and he sensed it. I didn't say s*** tho. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I'm sure it's harmless and she has no idea, but then again I dont know that and neither does he.

 

I would've absolutely BLASTED this girl!!!!!!! You're right, enough is enough and this girl obviously knows full well how pissed off you get.

 

No. You are going to put an end to this cos you don't have to put up with this anymore!!

 

Tell her to get going. This girl's even starting to s*** me...

 

Good luck!

[drkhairbeauty]

Okay then...how do I do it tactfully without making my bf's sister and my bf s***ty at me? His sister is such a wonderful person. She's sees the best in everyone...I really don't want her mad at me or their family. Should I just direct this all to my bf and not the girl?

[purspeed]

Your problem is with your acceptance of his behaviour, his behaviour and your needs to have a good relationship with this cat.

 

No one is going to blame you for defending yourself if you are wronged, his family included. Now, family sticks by family, but they probably know the boy's bad for you.

 

Direct all your energies into BF and not the girl. If it isn't this girl, it would be another. She's generic.

 

Keep a cool head and set the example in the face of stupidity.

[lovestruck234]

Okay then...how do I do it tactfully without making my bf's sister and my bf s***ty at me? His sister is such a wonderful person. She's sees the best in everyone...I really don't want her mad at me or their family. Should I just direct this all to my bf and not the girl?

 

Hmmm...well, this is just me but if that situation came up and I was in your shoes that night, I'm not sure I would really "hold back" from saying anything. I would probably just tell her what I thought of her...

 

But obviously your situation is different. Maybe one day (if and when the opportunity comes up, don't force a deep and meaningful with this girl) and just say to her how you feel.

 

Example...

 

 

"Hey Drewskie, um, look as you know me and my bf are a pretty strong couple, and I am crazy about him. I just get the feeling that you like spending ALOT of time with him, not that it's a bad thing, well, to be honest, I get intimidated by you. I feel as though my bf is enjoying his time spent with you more than his time spent with me. I guess I just don't see why you need to go on so many jobs with him now. I mean, weren't you just helping out around the place when you first started, you weren't really going out on any jobs? Ok, I'm just going to be straight-forward here, I get really uncomfortable when I find out your going out to lunch and going everywhere with him. I'm not trying to be the protective-motherly-no one can touch him-girlfriend, I just don't like knowing that your out to lunch with him as often as you are, and it seems as though you spend an excessive amount of time with him, an unessesary amount of time with him. Do you understand where I'm coming from? It's not that I don't like you (ahem..hmmm) but I just don't like the fact that my BF is spending more time with one of his WORK MATES than with his GF. If you get my drift....how do you feel about it all? You may not have even realised that you we're doing it, I just felt it was time to say something..."

 

 

So that's just an idea of something you could say to him.....

Just a few ideas, you don't have to use them.

[drkhairbeauty]

That just might work. I MIGHT try it. I'm going to talk with my bf tonight one last time. I need to explain to him that its making me sick every day wondering about her and I can't be that way any longer. You know, I have two friends (one of em an ex) that are guys that I can't have as friends any longer because of their gf's. It's cool and I understand. My ex e mailed me the other day and said that we can't wave at each other or anything anymore. That's a little extreme but I understand her side. Also, a good friend of mine (8 yrs and never romantic with him) told me that he and I can't text each other anymore or email because his gf feels threatened and he doesn't want to lose her. AWWWW! I told him I understand...which I do. It sucks but I do understand. Well, how come I am having such a hard time with my bf understanding? I see all these other people changing small things for their significant other so they can have a better relationship and I can't even get this one thing. ANYWAYS, I'm laying it on the line tonight. I was actually consumed with thoughts about this whole thing this morning and couldn't fall back asleep. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being jealous yet I can't let go of it. I don't do things I wouldn't want him to do. that's the way I do things. I dont know. I just see so many red flags with this relationship and not sure if I want to continue it.

[witabix]

The two things you need to sort out in your own mind are...

 

1 Your jealous tendencies.

 

2 Your bf's actions vs your expectations.

 

You have to let him know what you expect a relationship to look and feel like, this is your right. You have every right to define, for yourself, what a relationship is. How your SO should behave etc.

 

It is of course your SO's right to do the same for himself.

 

It is the clash or the meeting of these two perspectives that will make or break a relationship.

 

He must behave in his own inimitable way and you must decide if this is acceptable to you. If it is not you either compromise or end it.

 

I have made it sound very black and white but that is what it boils down to.

[drkhairbeauty]

You are right. Thank you for your reply. I wish I could just turn off my feelings but I can't. I'd give anything to not be jealous but I am. I am not very good with words when I try to explain myself. I know what I want to say but it never comes out like I want it to. I'll try.

[lovestruck234]

That just might work. I MIGHT try it. I'm going to talk with my bf tonight one last time. I need to explain to him that its making me sick every day wondering about her and I can't be that way any longer. You know, I have two friends (one of em an ex) that are guys that I can't have as friends any longer because of their gf's. It's cool and I understand. My ex e mailed me the other day and said that we can't wave at each other or anything anymore. That's a little extreme but I understand her side. Also, a good friend of mine (8 yrs and never romantic with him) told me that he and I can't text each other anymore or email because his gf feels threatened and he doesn't want to lose her. AWWWW! I told him I understand...which I do. It sucks but I do understand. Well, how come I am having such a hard time with my bf understanding? I see all these other people changing small things for their significant other so they can have a better relationship and I can't even get this one thing. ANYWAYS, I'm laying it on the line tonight. I was actually consumed with thoughts about this whole thing this morning and couldn't fall back asleep. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being jealous yet I can't let go of it. I don't do things I wouldn't want him to do. that's the way I do things. I dont know. I just see so many red flags with this relationship and not sure if I want to continue it.

 

It's good that your finally making a stand. But a big no no is comapring yourself to other relationships. You and your bf are, well, you and your bf, you shouldn't feel worse off just by taking a look at other people's circumstances.

 

Your right, all you can do now is try. And when trying fails, then just DO IT. DOn't just TRY and make it happen, MAKE it happen.

 

You can do it!!

 

All the best, let us know how you went....!!

[Guest]

i'm guessing you already have had your talk with him just haven't posted on here how it went. but i wanted to wish you good luck. theres not really much i can say at this point, just think about what you want out of life. you don't want to be with someone that you are constantly worried about, thats for sure.

you only live once and you want to be able to have fun and NOT feel threatened every day about some GIRL. its frustrating, but i believe you can make your decision about what you want

if he changes some of his actions then thats a very good sign that this relationship can work through its problems and that hes willing and committed to you!

if not, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

and yeah, you shouldn't compare your relationships to others... BUT i know exactly how you feel , when all other guys around you are making decisions to better their relationship and your guy isn't, its a slap in the face.

anyway

i hope everything works out for the best.

[drkhairbeauty]

That didn't go well. he came in tonight, sat on my counter and went on to tell me that he has a triathalon that he wants to do. Drew (that girl) gave him a flyer that her brother had. Her brother is putting it on and now he wants to do it. He sarcasticlly asked me if I had a probelm with it. I said "no" why would I? I then reminded him that he and I were going to meet for lunch tomorrow because we are working close to each other and I had told him this earlier in the day..he seemed happy about it. Then tonight he tells me "well, Drew will be with me tomorrow". FUC* that. I unleashed. Not in an abusive beligerant (?spell) way...he was being so sarcastic to me and all that asking me "if its a problem for me" and all that. He was an a**h*** when I was trying to tell him how she made me feel uncomfortable and that I feel threatened by her. He never really listened to me...he asked sarcastically "well, why would you have been so mad if I would have went up to the hills with her and my friend". He told me that "you are 38 years old and you need to grow the fuc* up". He is acting like a complete a**h*** right now. He wont do anything about it guaranteed. I wish he would leave my apartment. I am so sick of him right now. I'm sick of tyring to talk to him about my feelings about ONE thing. I never have ever put demands on him and I have never told him what to do just expressed an uncomfort. I also told him that it made me feel uncomfortable when I go to the shop and he doesnt' even acknowledge that I am there. I opened a door to an office that he was in talking with another guy and he didn't even look my way or give a little wave or anything...I didn't know if I should go in or go away. I walked away and waiting til he came out. I explained this to him that it would have been nice to have a little nod or something that I was there. He said "wow" thats being needy wow".

[drkhairbeauty]

I dont know why I put this one in there..it was supposed to be angry face! NO LOVE HERE!

[lovestruck234]

I'm really really sorry to hear about all of this....

 

And I'm really really sorry that I'm about to type this cos I know you don't want to hear it....

 

Break up with the a**h***!! he has treated you like a piece of DIRT and you don't deserve that. PERIOD. You shouldn't have to put up with s*** like this.

 

Think about it, once he is out of your life, you will not worry about him and Drew anymore. You won't give a f**k, and you know how good that feeling is going to be???!!

 

You tried, and that's what matters. You will walk away knowing that this was brought on by him, and that you did your so very best to make it work. Sometimes people can be such selfish jerks that "trying" isn't good enough for them...

 

This is NOT your fault. It is his. Let him go on his stupid triathlon. And tell him to pack his bags as well.

 

You are better than all this, remember that!!

[drkhairbeauty]

I know I should break up with him. He's still here. He's in MY bed watching tv and I'm out here chattin to all you. I'm feeling like I am being totally stupid for feeling this way and he's making me feel like I'm the bad guy for having feelings. He says " Drew is the only thing we argue about". Well, we wouldn't be arguing about it if he would just LISTEN to me about what I'm tryin to say. I'm not telling him what to do at all or asking anything of him..I'm just trying to simply tell him how I feel and he's making me look like an idiot for feeling that way. Like feeling this way isn't something someone my age should be feeling...thus the "you're 38 so grow the f*** up" line. It's not like I'm continually harping on him about every other woman or telling him what to do...just this ONE thing. He's making me feel like a piece of s*** for doing this..I told him " You want me to be some doormat and not mention s*** when something wrong on my side and you just want things to be rosy rosy all the time well I'm not like that". He said "I know. You are always thinking about things and always serious". I asked if that was a problem...he's always known me to be like that....I am a quiet person. I'm not a loud obnoxious person and that's what he's always said he likes about me. I can't even go into my own room right now because I'm so pissed. I just feel like such a fool for feeling like this. I even mentioned the past two bad times when this has happened to me before and that I was hoping he'd be a little sensitive that way..he said " so you don't trust me then". It's such a mess when I try to say anything to him.