agnf666 Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 Okay, so Me and My boyfriend are going thru a ruff patch right now. He thinks that I constantly have an attitude with him or something to that extent. I told him if he doesn't want to be with me then we need to break up. I said this repeated times... but why does he go and say "It's up to me, do I want to give it a second chance or we breakup?"... I gave him the out door alot of times, why is he doing this to me. Is he trying to make me feel guilty about breaking up with him so I won't do it or does he really want to do it but is afriad. In my past relationships we just basically decided to call it quits when we knew it was over, with this one it is wierd... He doesn't want to break up with me but leaves it up to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Buttaflyy Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 Okay, so Me and My boyfriend are going thru a ruff patch right now. He thinks that I constantly have an attitude with him or something to that extent. I told him if he doesn't want to be with me then we need to break up. I said this repeated times... but why does he go and say "It's up to me, do I want to give it a second chance or we breakup?"... I gave him the out door alot of times, why is he doing this to me. Is he trying to make me feel guilty about breaking up with him so I won't do it or does he really want to do it but is afriad. In my past relationships we just basically decided to call it quits when we knew it was over, with this one it is wierd... He doesn't want to break up with me but leaves it up to me. You can only say something a certain amount of times before you're crying wolf. Maybe you should be sure of what you really want before you threaten with break ups. Maybe he doesn't want to feel the guilt either. Maybe he's playing the same game you are. Or, maybe he doesn't care anymore. Don't say it if you don't mean it. If you mean it, YOU do it! Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 he has no balls he does not want to be "the bad guy" he fears change he'll lose sex Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 If he leaves it up to you, then you break up with him. Problem solved. Link to post Share on other sites
Chinook Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 In my past relationships we just basically decided to call it quits when we knew it was over, with this one it is wierd... He doesn't want to break up with me but leaves it up to me. Sometimes a partner will continue in the rough behaviour and things don't improve but they won't make a decision. Instead they enable a situation to develop where the other partner decides they have had enough and they call it quits. It's exactly because they don't wanna be the bad guy. I think you're going to have to decide what YOU want. Link to post Share on other sites
Author agnf666 Posted July 7, 2006 Author Share Posted July 7, 2006 WEll, I am going to have to be the bad guy... there are way too many reason why it needs to be over. I'm going to list them and you guys tell me you wouldn't do the same thing as I am . 1. Can't keep him happy 2. Making me sad 3. We are looking for the same kind of relationship but we are on different levels of that. He wants a serious relationship but he doesn't understand that you can't become serious with someone with only dating them for about a month... NO WAY. 4. He doesn't like me for me, He wants me to lose wieght, and not drink and smoke. 5. He has not made any effort to come to see me at my house. I have drove to his house over 5 times now, and there has been no "Want me to come up". We have not been out in public together. So, he is like hiding me almost. 6. I got into an accident coming home from his house and he didn't even ask me if I was okay or not. 7. Tries to make me jealous 8. Talked about me moving into his house down the road the three days after I talked to him... way too overbearing for me. That is something you don't talk about that soon. So, he is making me an emotional wreck. My friend is telling me to get out of it... So, I think I am going to have to be the one to pull the plug. I liked him alot but he was way too overbearing and wanted to change me too much. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 From your list there are some very serious red flags...... I vote to pull the plug. Link to post Share on other sites
Buttaflyy Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 WEll, I am going to have to be the bad guy... there are way too many reason why it needs to be over. I'm going to list them and you guys tell me you wouldn't do the same thing as I am . 1. Can't keep him happy 2. Making me sad 3. We are looking for the same kind of relationship but we are on different levels of that. He wants a serious relationship but he doesn't understand that you can't become serious with someone with only dating them for about a month... NO WAY. 4. He doesn't like me for me, He wants me to lose wieght, and not drink and smoke. 5. He has not made any effort to come to see me at my house. I have drove to his house over 5 times now, and there has been no "Want me to come up". We have not been out in public together. So, he is like hiding me almost. 6. I got into an accident coming home from his house and he didn't even ask me if I was okay or not. 7. Tries to make me jealous 8. Talked about me moving into his house down the road the three days after I talked to him... way too overbearing for me. That is something you don't talk about that soon. So, he is making me an emotional wreck. My friend is telling me to get out of it... So, I think I am going to have to be the one to pull the plug. I liked him alot but he was way too overbearing and wanted to change me too much. And you can add to that list that he is manipulating you to break up with him. I think he's playing games with you, giving you signs and motivating you to do so. Let it go girl! He's not worth all of that! Luckily for you it sounds like the "R" is pretty new. Dump him quick! Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 Pull pull pull pull pull:bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 ... He doesn't want to break up with me but leaves it up to me. He does want to breakup but he wants you to initiate it... Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 I have a bad track record with men, but all the guys I dated except for ONE, about 7 years ago, made me break up with them. It's not so bad being the bad guy. It's kind of liberating. I thought all men did this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author agnf666 Posted July 7, 2006 Author Share Posted July 7, 2006 And you can add to that list that he is manipulating you to break up with him. I think he's playing games with you, giving you signs and motivating you to do so. Let it go girl! He's not worth all of that! Luckily for you it sounds like the "R" is pretty new. Dump him quick! We started dating on June 11. So, it was almost a month. Glad it wasn't too much longer. He is driving me crazy. I have not been happy with him in a week. Even going to his house the other night I was thinking that it should be over. I had that accident while talking on the phone with him and he didn't even ask me if I was okay. Talk about not caring at all. Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 He does want to breakup but he wants you to initiate it... ...so he can play *victim*, huh? What a cowardly wuss! Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 Ahhh can't you hear us all chanting PULL IT PULL IT PULL IT..... from behind our keyboards..... get rid of the loser...... do it ...... do it now! Better yet just go Stealth NC....... don't give him the satisfaction of a call or chat Link to post Share on other sites
Buttaflyy Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 We started dating on June 11. So, it was almost a month. Glad it wasn't too much longer. He is driving me crazy. I have not been happy with him in a week. Even going to his house the other night I was thinking that it should be over. I had that accident while talking on the phone with him and he didn't even ask me if I was okay. Talk about not caring at all. He's an insensitive a$$hO73! He's giving you all the motivation. Don't look back. Don't waste another min on him. I wouldn't even call him a relationship if I were you. He sounds more like a bad experience. You'll be fine! Better off actually. Sounds like he was starting to getcha down. Pick yourself right back on up and keep walking! Link to post Share on other sites
Buttaflyy Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 Ahhh can't you hear us all chanting PULL IT PULL IT PULL IT..... from behind our keyboards..... get rid of the loser...... do it ...... do it now! Better yet just go Stealth NC....... don't give him the satisfaction of a call or chat I'm witcha on this one A4a! Link to post Share on other sites
Author agnf666 Posted July 7, 2006 Author Share Posted July 7, 2006 I plan on talking about it. I wanna speak my mind finally. He needs to know why I am breaking up with him. Going stealth will not work. I need to close this situation... Link to post Share on other sites
Buttaflyy Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 I plan on talking about it. I wanna speak my mind finally. He needs to know why I am breaking up with him. Going stealth will not work. I need to close this situation... If you must. Just don't let him sucker you into making bad choices. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 I plan on talking about it. I wanna speak my mind finally. He needs to know why I am breaking up with him. Going stealth will not work. I need to close this situation... I can almost guarantee that he will never understand why you're breaking up with him. Women tend to have this overwhelming urge to explain themselves. I used to do it, too, until I realized I was really just talking to myself. Why do you need to explain anything? Link to post Share on other sites
Author agnf666 Posted July 7, 2006 Author Share Posted July 7, 2006 I know ther eis nothing to explain... I'm just done with it. I'm tired of having to worry about if he is going to break up with me after every sentence I write... Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 Why do you need to explain anything? ahh..b_0 is the voice of reason. if there is a "talk" then it will just give him one more chance to hem and haw and then you'll both decide to stay together and then the whole cycle will start over. and you two have only been dating for a month?? WT*! how much can you invest in someone after 30 days? Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 I know ther eis nothing to explain... I'm just done with it. I'm tired of having to worry about if he is going to break up with me after every sentence I write... Well I would be worried too.... he is so considerate, kind, and compassionate towards you...... what a catch.... I would worry if he would break it off with me too..... Girl wake up and smell the rancid milk.... this dude is a LOSER.... with a big fat L. Link to post Share on other sites
Chinook Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 You got your concensus... he's looking for a break-up. Lots of red flags here. Oh, also... if you do break up with him... he's likely to also be all "wounded soldier" too !!! ... and not to mention you'll obviously be the ex-from-hell-b!tch who had the nerve to dump him!! Drama drama drama, do you need this..? Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 it HAS only been a month and he HAS been a complete ass..... so that make it a little better! Link to post Share on other sites
Chinook Posted July 7, 2006 Share Posted July 7, 2006 Holy cow, I try to post and like 8 posts appeared since I pressed send! Link to post Share on other sites
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