About Nice Guys...

[Push Comes to Shove]

I read the post from a few days ago recently about the whole "NICE GUY" and about the "BAD GUY"..

 

I'll admit, I've learned from my mistakes, I used to be overly nice and got used and walked over. But as I said I learned from that experience and now I usually see those using me and trying to walk all over me.

 

Cause no matter how nice you are, and if you're not just desperate and you learn from your mistakes, us, "NICE GUYS" can only take so much.

 

And a few friends of mine don't like me the same way as I was before.

 

And this is to everybody that always has that attitude of , I must be doing something wrong because of whatever, when in fact, it's not you at all.

 

Yes, I used to feel this way, but like I said, I learned from my mistakes and recently i've woken up due to unfortunate circumstances in my family. But somehow, this all made me see things more clearly.

 

And just because you do not DROP everything for either a friend or a lover AT ALL TIMES, just because you have a life of your own, that does not make you a bad person.

 

Funny thing is, sometimes you actually find out who your friends and who you can really count on, aka friends and lovers, when you do have a life, when you seem to be acting "SELFISH" and when I guess some may say you're acting like a "JERK".

 

I mean I'm still nice, but if I have something important to do in my life, I no longer just drop everything I do for somebody else, just because they want a ride or anything. I mean in an emergency, that's different, but sometimes, you need to just be SELFISH..

 

Sad to say, but, if not dropping everything in your life just so somebody else can go to the mall, needs a ride, etc for no real reason makes you a "JERK" than honestly,

 

I'd rather be known as a Jerk.

 

Sometimes it takes time and unfortuante happenings to make you realize that if certain people only like you if you are constantly a "NICE GUY", constantly going out of your way and never doing anything for yourself just because you did something for somebody else, and then one day you do have something you really need to do and a friend or lover gets pissed off and doesn't want to be your friend or lover anymore,

 

well, put it this way,

 

It's not on you, it's on them.

 

Sometimes It's better to be alone than to be with somebody.

 

And being a "Nice Guy" sometimes makes people hate you because some people, not all, have this tendency to think that by showing kindness you're actually showing weakness.

 

As I said, stay who you are, if you're a "NICE GUY", stay nice and remain nice, just don't let anybody tell you differently and be "SELFISH" once in a while, cause most of the time, you really do learn who you can trust.

 

As for girls, honestly, this is not a generalization, but, Age doesn't matter. There are 50 year old women who date "JERKS" and there are 16 year old women who date "Nice Guys" and vice versa. I honestly don't think age has anything to do with it.

 

True some people learn over the years while others, don't know why, but it seems they never want to learn.

 

And as for us, "NICE GUYS", honestly, I'll do the little romantic things here and there, and i'll open doors for my date, I'll send her flowers when she's feeling sad, etc etc. I won't buy her flowers or gifts all the time, but on some occassions, it just feels right.

 

But honestly, if a women can't deal with my being "Nice", or if she thinks I bought flowers or I am "Nice" only because I'm trying to play her or do whatever she thinks, than honestly, I really don't care. Like I said, it's not on me, if somebody doesn't believe what I do is sincere because she has issues, she thinks all guys are "jerks", or the fact that she just likes "jerks" etc, than you know what, it's not on me, it's on her and guess what, She can go date those infamous "Jerks" she likes so much. Just don't call me when that "Jerk" screwed her over.

 

Get what I'm saying,

 

A Nice Guy...

[Carrie]

Let's not forget about nice girls. Guys aren't the only victims. It's a bit different for us. Nice girls get the treated poorly too, but sometimes it's a bit different. Guys at a young age will date a nice girl or (girls that are deperately in love with them and want a serious relationship - available) and know that the girl is crazy about them. They'll try to get sex from her (knowing she's in love with him) and then will dump her or if the girl won't put out, they'll dump her anyway for someone else - because these guys are not ready for a relationship. Unfortunately the nice girls don't want the nice guys, because they're not as much of a challenge and the nice guys don't want the nice girls for the same reason, which is why the nice people (available people) are always having their hearts broken.

 

Let's face it, everyone likes to go after the guys and girls that are a challenge. We all want what we can't have and that's why half the people are here on this lovesite asking for help to get through all their heart aches.

[Push Comes to Shove]

Yeah.. So true... Sorry I left out the whole female thing. That is so true that there are "NICE GIRLS" who are heartbroken and used as well..

 

Sad thing is, many of these, "NICE GUYS" and "NICE GIRLS" eventually turn into "BITTER PEOPLE" who don't trust anybody. Hopefully that's not the case for many people, but we all know that's not really the case at all now don't we.. Sucks, but it's the truth.

 

I have no problem with people going after what they can't have, AKA, guys or girls going after the "JERKS" and after they find out that the person their seeing is really a "JERK" cause we all know some "JERKS" are really smoothe and can get away with it in the beginning,

 

but the issue is, when these "JERKS" screw over these "NICE PEOPLE", then they come running back to you, "NICE PERSON" when everything is chaotic.

 

And then they get pissed off when basically, you aren't there "ESCAPE FROM THEIR CHAOTIC WORLD ANYMORE" and "YOU'RE NOT always going to pick them up from their mistakes, cause basically, you have your own life"

 

You know it's not that you're not being a "NICE PERSON" but it's just that you just can't let people walk on you, you know..

 

Nice Guy

[Carrie]

I also think what happens is when nice people get older, they get so sick of the ups and downs and the hurting and they finally "learn" from their mistakes and realize that they can't change people or make them become what they want (an unavailable to become available and attentive)they finally start looking for the "Nice" available people. These people aren't going to be too much of a challenge, because they realize life is too short, and the ups and downs are just a waste of time. Instead they could be spending that time getting to know the other and exploring the other person good qualities, rather than trying to decode the "unavailable" persons feelings and trying to figure out why they keep pulling away and hurting them.