I'm only getting half of the signals.

[Guest]

It almost makes me wish we weren’t friends first.

 

I’m the type of girl that tends to have a lot of guy friends because let’s be honest ladies, we tend to be a bit catty. About 2 months ago I realized that I have feelings for a friend. Me and this guy started hanging out a lot back in March, when we’d get off work, on our days off… and we’d do all types of things, from going to happy hour, watching a movie, to grabbing a late night bite to eat. Things that are strictly platonic.

 

I’ve recently told him how I feel but I don’t think he takes me seriously. Because I felt our friendship was strong and we are comfortable with one another, I would share with him information about guys I had “crushes” on or how my dates went. I feel like I almost have to prove to him that my feelings for him are real because of past indiscretions.

 

I’m by no means a saint but when I’m in a relationship, I’m all in. I’m not a cheater, nor promiscuous. I can tell that he likes me at some level that is more than friends but I feel he thinks he’s just a dime a dozen. I have been in 4 serious relationships so far in my life and it wasn’t until my last boyfriend and I broke up that I actually did the “dating” thing. I think this guy thinks that’s how I always am but I’m not.

 

So for those willing to help, what do I need to do to prove to him that I am serious? How do I show him that he doesn’t have to be scared about a potential “us”, that I can be the one for him?

[Max Overclock]

First of all, it's important of course that there is a chemistry between you both that has the potential to be on a romantic level.

 

To get his attention, you need to be able to sit him down somewhere comfortable where you know you'll both be alone, and tell him that you need to talk to him.

 

Then, just be honest. Tell him how much you enjoy having him as a friend, and that you think very highly of him. Let him know that you've been doing a lot of thinking and that you have feelings for him that are deeper than just friendship. Tell him that even if he doesn't feel the same way, that you would never want him to feel awkward around you, or lose his friendship because of it, but that you'd always be wondering if you didn't let him know how deeply you feel for him.

 

Be prepared however. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, things do change when we voice our feelings of affection for another person. Sometimes, when we make that gamble, it turns sour on us.

 

Nonetheless, if you can feel at the end of the day that you did the right thing by letting him know your affection for him, no matter what the outcome, then go for it.

 

Even if you do lose the friendship, I believe that you should let him know. It is better to regret those things we have done or said, than to forever wonder what would have happened if we had done or said the things we wished to do or say.

 

Keep us informed.

 

Max