Guest Posted July 9, 2006 Share Posted July 9, 2006 So about 8 months after my ex broke up with me, she has started contacting me. We were together for 5 years and broke up over my lack of attention to her and other similar issues. She has made it clear to me that she wants to try again. She has called crying saying she misses me and all that stuff and always reminiscing about the past. For the most part, I have moved on since but there's still a part of me that wants to try again as well. She tells me she can feel that I have moved on and seems hurt by it. Basically, the ball is in my court and the decision has to be made by me. The issue I'm having here is that I'm afraid of how things will be if we do get back together again. She use to be a very innocent and reserved girl (we are both in our early 20s). Since the breakup she has changed a lot in terms of lifestyle in that she goes out a lot to club, drink, etc. She has also been going out with a new group of wild friends that she has met since the breakup in which she tells me a few of the closest guys in the group have a thing for her. I know that if we get back together, I will have to deal with these issues and I don't know if I can or want to handle it. Has anyone been in this situation before? Any opinions are appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted July 9, 2006 Share Posted July 9, 2006 If you have to look behind your back because of those guys with things for her. those can develop into Emotional affairs. Since you are confused with part of you wanting to get back, the other part moved on. Write down what you like about the new her and what you don't like about the new her. IMO, meet up and see, but I fear something may change a few weeks down the road. Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise Posted July 9, 2006 Share Posted July 9, 2006 You've moved on, don't make the mistake of going backwards. Especially since she has these guys who want her as friends. That will just cause problems and could lead to infidelity (on her part). My advice is to cut her out of your life completely (no reason to talk to her at all) and find someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
heartnsoul Posted July 9, 2006 Share Posted July 9, 2006 These 'guys' in her social group, had she any interest don't think she'd be contacting you, no? I say, if you want to appease that "part of me that wants to try again" you should. Otherwise, you'll always have that little spark of 'what if'. See her again. Don't jump back in with both feet but do test the waters. You won't know if you turn your back, that's for sure. In short ... you won't know if you don't try. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted July 9, 2006 Share Posted July 9, 2006 Girls love attention, even when they have no intention at all in pursuing them. You know her best- can you trust her? If she has other prospects and is still contacting you after 8 months, I'd say that's at least one strike in her favor. But you nkow her best. Although, I'd say take a chance only if you think this is a girl who might be "the one". Link to post Share on other sites
gfto Posted July 9, 2006 Share Posted July 9, 2006 Don't go back. As sure as death and taxes, a woman who dumped you once will most certainly dump you again. This is so, because in her mind, the things about you that caused her to dump you the first time are still there, regardless of how much you might have changed. Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted July 9, 2006 Share Posted July 9, 2006 And as sure as death and taxes, a guy will get dumped because of his lack of attention to her and other similar issues. My guess is part of what happened had to do with the relationship becominge a bit too "comfortable" and she stopped feeling special. Guys (and girls) should take note that a long term relationship requires effort whether 3 months, 3 years, or 30 years down the line. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts