Mr baseball Posted July 9, 2006 Share Posted July 9, 2006 Is it ok to date new people if separated to divorce? Link to post Share on other sites
Plato1969 Posted July 9, 2006 Share Posted July 9, 2006 This seems like something that you and your wife should talk about and come to an agreement on. I imagine it would anger most people to "find out" that their STBX was dating/sleeping with another. Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted July 9, 2006 Share Posted July 9, 2006 This seems like something that you and your wife should talk about and come to an agreement on. I imagine it would anger most people to "find out" that their STBX was dating/sleeping with another. I agree, but wanted to add that you should make up your own mind about this and that if you are not sure you will divorce , you may regret it later. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr baseball Posted July 9, 2006 Author Share Posted July 9, 2006 No Im sure its done. She has a live in boyfriend and b.t.w I am cool with that. I just notice that most women seen to avoid a guy who is separated......even if the divorce will be final in a few months. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted July 9, 2006 Share Posted July 9, 2006 So exactly what do you mean when you ask "is it OK?" Do you mean is it moral and/or ethical? Or is it a good idea from the point of view of your own well-being? Or is it OK from the perspective of your kids? Or might it affect your relationship with your STBXW in the later days of finalizing your divorce? These are all different issues... Link to post Share on other sites
GuySimple Posted July 9, 2006 Share Posted July 9, 2006 No Im sure its done. She has a live in boyfriend and b.t.w I am cool with that. I just notice that most women seen to avoid a guy who is separated......even if the divorce will be final in a few months. Most couples will discuss the dating issue when they decide to separate or soon after. From what I understand from you is that your STBXW is ok with it. Regarding the comment about women avoiding guys who are newly separated. You are very right here, just as guys avoid newly separated women. I would also add that you should probably avoid anyone who has not come to terms with their separation/divo., no matter how long it has been. They maybe looking for you to fill a void in their life that is just not healthy for you at this point in your life. From my experience women who have been single for a while are generally looking to settle down. However, as you are newly single and discovering all the great stuff that you couldn't do when your were married, or didn't even know about, you will not probably want to settle down just yet. If you do, don't, as you will simply be trying to replace your ex with a new version of the same model and that relationship will also sour. Be honest with women and don't try to hide that you are newly separated. Tell them that you are still discovering so they will know that upfront. If they want to get to know you better it probably won't scare them off but it will allow them to protect themself from getting hurt. There are lots of good books out on the subject of dating during separation. It can be very fun and rewarding and a great way to discover what you want in a relationship. I dated someone who was open enough to give me great feedback on a few things that would have impacted my previous marriage, that I had not seen before. Hope this was a help Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Under those circumstances it's a very personal choice. I chose not to during the two years the divorce took even though the STBX already had her boyfriend living with her and my children but that was a personal preference. As for women being wary, that certainly wasn't my experience. As soon as the ex and I separated women seemed to be coming out of the woodwork and others were trying to set me up with their friends. However, that was probably because I was older (48-50). Link to post Share on other sites
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