Am I the one

[worm]

I have a boyfriend of three yrs in the service. Life has gotten in our way several times and led to breaking up..When I say life I mean growing up , moving away things like that. We are both 20. Well this last time we split was when he moved far away and we got back together. I even went to see him a few times. The time we spend together is so great for both of us and we dont want to part but I had to go back to my town. For a while we talked through phone and it was fine but lately we have been missing each other bad and its taking a toll on us. A month back he told his mom he wanted to get me a ring and have me move with him when he leaves the base he is at now in January.. All of a sudden the thoughts of marriage disapeared when he found out he was going out to sea for 6 months. He says he really loves me. And that his feelings havent changed he just realized its gonna be to hard and it wouldnt be healthy marrieage if we ended up getting married...I know he loves me by the way he acts when I am there.....Can you tell if a guy thinks you are the one by his actions....Does true love make it through everything....Im so sad I dont want us to end but its like he thinks it wont work or something and he says he wishes it could but he knows it cant....Has anybody beeen through this...

[Tony T]

If he really loved you, he would ask you to wait six months while he is at sea and resume your relationship when he returned.

 

Of course, he may love you enough to release you to find someone else since he will not be available to you during that time except through mail.

 

I suggest that if you ever hope to have any kind of meaningful long term relationship with this guy, you better learn to communicate with him more effectively.

 

Six months really isn't a very long time.

[little d]

Too many people think a ring and a peice of paper is this magical device that binds people together and if that were the case one in every two couples wouldn't end up in divorce. Love is only where it starts the rest is being able to comunication, grow and except changes in each other.

 

And love and be there for each other through all of it.

 

You say life has gotten in the way of your relationship and you break up. Growing up is something you and your boyfriend will do your whole lives. You both have two choices, grow together or grow apart. If this isn't how he wants to start or how he wants a marriage to be, you can't change that. A ring sure won't. It's a peice of metal, no magical binding properties.

 

I think you guys are already off to a bad start by leaving your choices to getting married or breaking up. Why not being 20, living your lives for yourselves, so it has to be seperate right now, should that matter? Visit each other, miss each other. Make friends, be happy. If it works it'll work, you both have to want that. He's living his life and you need to live yours. You can't just follow him to the ends of the earth and expect it all to work out fine because your married. It doesn't work like that. Like they say, if you love something set it free if it comes back.......

 

Good Luck,

 

d