Guest Posted July 9, 2006 Share Posted July 9, 2006 Hi everyone, I've been reading posts on this site for quite some time now and think that I could use some in-sight. My bf and I have been together for over 1.5 years and I still haven't met his family (We're both in our early-mid 20s). Do you guys think that that's strange? I've asked him about meeting his family before and he got kind of defensive and brushed it off. The last time I asked, we got into a huge fight about how him and his family don't get along and they have family issues to deal with so meeting me is the thing on their priority list. So I never asked again...and that was 4 months ago. Also, when his family got a new phone number, he didn't even offer it to me until months and months after when I had to ask him about 3 times for it. I have to mention that even when we were friends, I always thought he was the nicest, coolest person. He still is nice but he sometimes gets into these moments where it's as if I don't really know him at all. What do you think of this? Do you think he's hiding anything? Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 First of all I wonder why you insisted on having his family's number, especially since you've never met them. He could have viewed that as controlling. As for the rest, I can think of two things off the top. The first is that he's really not committed to you or the relationship so he doesn't think it necessary to introduce you to family. The second is that he finds his family embarassing and is uncomfortable around them himself and doesn't weant anyone else to meet them. They could all be drunks, dopers, bigots, slobs, hicks, you name it, and he's afraid you'll think less of him by association. I'd go easy on this one. Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Pushing the family issue won't work. Either accept it, or find someoen who's views on family are more like your own. I haven't met my bf's family (2.5 yr relationship), I probably won't unless by accident. He doesn't like his family and tries hard not to make them a part of his life. I don't always understand because I love my family and like spending time with them. Anyway... some families are just not happy and wonderful, and your SO may have good reason not to want to bring you into that environment. If you understand what's going on in the family, then it shouldn't bother you that he isn't introducing you. If you don't understand, then maybe you should seek to learn more about what your bf is dealing with and how it's affecting him. And not in order to manipulate him into introducing you, but to attempt to help him deal with his problems, or be supportive of him. Sounds like you have other issues in addition to meeting the family. What do you mean regarding he "gets in these moments", not really knowing him? Can you explain a little more. Link to post Share on other sites
stacym75 Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Does he talk about his family at all?Has he told you anything about them .Could he be hiding something?That could be it that he is hiding something.I have a brother in law that lied about almost everything to a couple of his wives and one woman he was gonna marry but then left her on the weekend of her bridal shower cause he wasn't divorced from his last wife.It is defantly a Jerry Springer show.But i guess if there is truly somthing there he will eventually talk about them and for you to meet them . Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 him and his family don't get along and they have family issues to deal with Sounds like he's already told you why he's not introducing you to his family yet. Why can't you accept that and let it go? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 the reason i make a big deal in meeting his family is that the culture we come from, family is a huge thing and meeting them is a sign that the relationship is progressing and very serious. he told me he wants to marry me "soon", but soon could mean anything. and we take our families very seriously. which makes me wonder if he is serious with me...or that he's just leading me on, giving me false hope that we will marry... Link to post Share on other sites
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