What the hell happened?!

[precious99]

My BF of almost 7 months has been amazing - caring, loving, and devoted. I have never once questioned his feelings or loyalty to me - until last night. We attended a wedding reception together - I should say that these were all friends of his who have not been very kind to me on the few occassions that I have met them. So I, being the bigger person, went anyways determined to have a good time. At other functions that we have attended together my BF has never left my side and has always been just plain wonderful. Before I go any further I should tell you that neither of us were in a good mood going in to this (we had had an argument about the common decency involved in calling when you say your going to and it was my daughter's birthday - she was with her dad making it the first birthday of hers that I have ever missed) So maybe in hindsight I shouldn't have gone at all but of course I did and it was a disaster. Everything started out ok - we weren't really talking alot but we were ok. We went to the bar and got a couple of drinks then proceeded to the table where his cousin and his wife were sitting. He thought that I should sit (I think just being courteous) next to his cousin's wife while he sat by his cousin - putting us across the table from one another. The empty chair next to his was soon filled by this b**ch who has a thing for my BF but is also engaged to my BF's best friend (Sorry - its complicated) So, while he didn't do anything wrong her presence just blackened my mood even further. Anyways this other friend came and started talking to him - one I hadn't met yet - well I don't know exactly what was said but she came over to me and said "Hi I'm Pam - why are you mad at Joe?" I of course denied anything was wrong afterall I didn't know her at all, it semmed very "highschool" and her tone was accusatory. I got up from the table and went to get another drink while she proceeded to the dance floor and told all her little friends. I was so upset - he knew that my one vulnerability was the fact that his friends didn't like me - he knew how much it bothered me and how hard I tried to change that - and yet he used it aginst me like a weapon. Am I over analyzing this at all - I mean it came so out of the blue - he has never been anything but loving and kind to me - so what gives? I made him take me home after this happened and he apologized and says that he feels embarrassed and ashamed by his actions but I am so deeply hurt. He said he thought it would be funny - but I don't know anyone who would find his behaviour funny. I should say that he is not much of a talker - he has great difficulty expressing himself verbally (his actions have always told me all that I needed to know) so now he has withdrawn from me - he says that he doesn't know what to say or do - do I cut my losses? I really love him - any ideas anyone??

[lovestruck234]

Hmmm...this does seem out of the blue, judging by what you have told about him and his personality.

 

You're right, it was very "high school" of him, and he shouldv'e known better. I'm not sure why he did it, but by him saying he thought it would be funny is just plain childish again, and along with apologizing to you in the 1st place, he shouldv'e just left it at that.

 

I would also be very hurt if I were you. In my opinion, I am sensing that he may of been all caught up in the chatter of the girls that he sort of joined in, and like I said, was wound up in it all, wasn't really thinking. Also, I'm not sure how much he may of had, but you said you were having a few drinks. That may have resulted in his smart-arsey ways that night.

 

I wouldn't worry too much for now, unless/until he does it again. If he makes a habit out of embarrassing you like that, then that will be the time to put an end to it and pull him into line.

 

best of luck!