Guest Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 i would rather not give out ages but we aren't teens. Between 22 and 30 and he is older than me Link to post Share on other sites
lovestruck234 Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 Pick up the phone, ring the closest counsellor, and make an appointment. You are being very very silly. I will admit I have a few insecurites, but not to this extreme. Relationships are based on trust. You will soon discover how important it is. If you can't trust your own bf, what are doing with him? I can't believe this is over a phone! Because he opened it and took a look at it, you assumed he got a message from a girl he's been cheating with? Come on mate! You know yourself that's going too far. I don't even know where my bf's phone IS half the time. Sometimes he leaves it at work over the weekend, sometimes he has it in his pocket, sometimes he probably has it in the bathroom, big whoop! Who cares? If you're between 22 and 30 and you're acting like this, I must be pretty God damn mature cos I'm younger than you and I don't carry on like this! I'm sorry for being so harsh, but this is ridiculous. You have some serious trust and insecurity issues here. And you DON'T trust him. At all. See? Now you've got nothing cos you've got no trust. I have problems now and then with certain things, but I learn there is more to life than obsessing over you're bf taking his phone into the bathroom or putting it on the charger or putting it into a differernt position. Really, think about it, love. Link to post Share on other sites
P1xie Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 Hmm that is why my bf after he did he the remodel added a phone line in the bathroom. I thought it was weird but he said that people always seem to call him when he's on the crapper, the thought never crossed my mind that he could be calling sitting on the toilet pooping talking to some other girl. I think this whole post is fake. Though we really do have a phone line in our bathroom for the first reason lol. Yes my bf is a little weird. I told him that was what portable phones were for. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 Should i be suspicious that his texts are always deleted except for the ones locked of course which are pics of me? He says its usually me and a guy friend once in awhile who texts. Link to post Share on other sites
P1xie Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 Should i be suspicious that his texts are always deleted except for the ones locked of course which are pics of me? He says its usually me and a guy friend once in awhile who texts. You shouldn't be snooping on his phone and you should let the man *hit in peace. I erase my txts, I erase my e-mails, I erase my voicemails that does not mean I'm cheating on my bf. He isn't doing anything else that makes you suspicious so you should let it go and get a grip. Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 Should i be suspicious that his texts are always deleted except for the ones locked of course which are pics of me? He says its usually me and a guy friend once in awhile who texts. My bf erases every text message and all recent calls as soon as he hears them or reads them. He's not cheating. He does keep a few locked. Those are the ones from me. Call the counselor. You'll drive him away with the insecurity. Link to post Share on other sites
lovestruck234 Posted August 7, 2006 Share Posted August 7, 2006 See a counsellor sometime this week... No you shouldn't be suspicious becuase it's probably just a habit...and old habits die hard. You probably have a few habits yourself I presume? Just lay off him for a while. My guess, he probably deletes any that aren't from you (even if they are just from a guy friend) so he doesn't cop the detective talk. He probably feels as though he can't talk to anyone from society because it will upset you and you'll hit him with 101 questions, so he erases the evidence. And this evidence ISN'T from a girl, which you keep thinking it is. Really, a cousellor is the only thing you turn to, because if you try and turn to your bf, he'll probably end up deleting himself from you! Link to post Share on other sites
Rooster_DAR Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 Cell phones are one of the largest avenues of cheating there is. Although I agree with some of the post on trying to trust, his behavior sounds suspicious to me. He obviously knows you are concerned about this issue, so he should be spending his moments trying to make you feel better about it instead of jumping on you or getting offensive. (Getting offensive when questioned is a huge red flag). I also agree that you need not be too suffocating, but keep your eye out for any other red flags that may stand out. Some other things to look for are, sudden change in appearance, a sudden glow about him, being secretive, distancing himself from you, calling you by your first name (if he used to call you honey or babe before), or sudden change in sexual behavior (no sex, or sudden interest in sex). Your gut instinct is probably the most sensitive intuition you have, and most of the time gut instincts are accurate. Another note, people who cheat or have affairs will go through extreme measures to hide what they are doing, so getting any information out of them will be fruitless. (Do detective work, but don’t get caught) Bottom line here is what you need to do. Sit down and have a nice quiet discussion with him and let him know you are feeling, and ask him to try to be sensitive to that. Talk about your future plans together and see if things are still tracking to a positive future. If all he gives you is nonchalant conversation, or becomes offensive then be on the lookout babe. If he is talking to someone no matter who it is, he should be able to give up who it is if he knows it's bothering you. Once he does open up to you, and you find out that the whole thing was innocuous, then you really need to work on getting your trust back in place before things get out of control. Once again, cell phones are the latest avenue of blossoming affairs, and it's just plain immature to spend so much time text messaging somebody when all you have to do is pick up the phone and call them, and it’s just plain annoying. Beware!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 Hey i really appreciate your response---he said he would not do that again-take it in with him when showering--and he hasn't--do u think thats good? or still be suspicious? Link to post Share on other sites
Rooster_DAR Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 You should trust him, but don't become aloof. Have you sat down and had a good serious converstation about this and what you future looks like together? If you have not, then this is absolutely essential. You have to communicate effectively. Also, as I stated before if he knows your onto him and if he truly is hiding something, you may have forced him into more secrecy. That's okay though, one sure thing that happens to cheaters is they make stupid mistakes that eventually give them away. Don't live every minute trying to find something wrong, but be wary of the environment around you. Regards Link to post Share on other sites
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