Crystal Posted November 29, 2001 Share Posted November 29, 2001 i have a serious problem here. i've been doing some work in a couple books about co-dependency. i found out one reason why, well maybe why, i have this icky feeling towards my boyfriend. he reminds me of my brother and i hate my brother. is this possible to work through something like this? i feel bad cause he is a pretty good guy but like the rest of us he has his moments too. but my brother was/is the biggest ass hole in this world and now i wonder since i figured out who my boyfriend reminds me of if i can get over this? what do you think? i feel like if i stay with him that i have a better chance of recovery since i will be in a situation that will make me work in my mind but then again, it is tense and sometimes stressful to be reminded of my growing up years and my brother as he reminds me of him and i hate my brother. my boyfriend says some mean things to me when he is mad just like my brother use to, maybe they are true then? any ideas, thoughts or suggestions on this? Link to post Share on other sites
Harvey Posted November 29, 2001 Share Posted November 29, 2001 Everyone percives people as someone they know, wether they love/hate them. They are not the same person, so don't hold that against your boyfriend, b/c he has no control over who you see him being like. His actions on the other hand, is something he has total control over. Maybe it's the actions that makes you not like or see your boyfriend in a different light? i have a serious problem here. i've been doing some work in a couple books about co-dependency. i found out one reason why, well maybe why, i have this icky feeling towards my boyfriend. he reminds me of my brother and i hate my brother. is this possible to work through something like this? i feel bad cause he is a pretty good guy but like the rest of us he has his moments too. but my brother was/is the biggest ass hole in this world and now i wonder since i figured out who my boyfriend reminds me of if i can get over this? what do you think? i feel like if i stay with him that i have a better chance of recovery since i will be in a situation that will make me work in my mind but then again, it is tense and sometimes stressful to be reminded of my growing up years and my brother as he reminds me of him and i hate my brother. my boyfriend says some mean things to me when he is mad just like my brother use to, maybe they are true then? any ideas, thoughts or suggestions on this? Link to post Share on other sites
Ed Posted November 29, 2001 Share Posted November 29, 2001 It's entirely possible that if you quit hating your brother, you may feel better about a lot of other things? Link to post Share on other sites
Lilly Posted November 30, 2001 Share Posted November 30, 2001 Personally, I think you "have this icky feeling" towards your boyfriend because he "says mean things" to you when he's mad. No matter how angry someone is at you, they have NO right to spew forth every nasty, degrading thing that comes into their mind. Anger is NO excuse. Even in anger, respect should be present, especially if they profess to love you. Link to post Share on other sites
Crystal Posted November 30, 2001 Share Posted November 30, 2001 i have to totally agree! he said some extremely hurtful things to the point that i felt like crying. i told him that next time he loses his temper like that and takes it out on me by saying things like that, that i WILLL leave! and i mean it too since this is NOT the first time but it theee last time that i will tell him that! thanks for the support. Personally, I think you "have this icky feeling" towards your boyfriend because he "says mean things" to you when he's mad. No matter how angry someone is at you, they have NO right to spew forth every nasty, degrading thing that comes into their mind. Anger is NO excuse. Even in anger, respect should be present, especially if they profess to love you. Link to post Share on other sites
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