Exclusive or not??

[Janice]

My boyfriend of 3 months is continually on travel and never here. His job is transfering him to another city 12 hours away. We were exclusively dating, but since his transfer he created an account on Match.com and is sending out his profile to women in Atlanta. I talked to him about it and told him I was willing to work w/ him on this because I liked him. He told me he could only take things day by day. He calls me when he is in town, but not to see me....just to say hello. This has been going on for 3 weeks and making me crazy. He has enough stress because of travel and this move I don't want to make more. I did try to talk and he is not talking to me. He has no time to date anyone so I really doubt he is dating. I do think the intent is there through Match.com. I wonder if I should start dating because he says "one day at a time" etc. This sounds like we are not exclusive along w/ never seeing him. He is out of country until Christmas now so I cannot talk to him and he won't email me becaue he hates it. He will though email the new girls...I guess. What should I do? I really love him.

[Carrie]

This guy is not interested in pursuing a serious relationship with you. He's also not around and his intentions are to make a life for himself in Atlanta. It doesn't mean he doesn't like you as a person or that it's anything you've done to turn him off, but he already knows it's not going anywhere with you and doesn't want to put forth the effort to do so. If he did, you wouldn't be wondering what's going on with him right now. So really, you have your answer - nothing much.

 

Also, never make excuses for anyone by saying, "Well, they're too busy to date" or "they're under a lot of stress." Who isn't. I'm stressed and busy at work, but I find time to date, eat, shop, etc. I even work late at night and still find time to see someone I really like. Nobody is too busy when they find someone they want to be with or date. Even if you work everyday, 12 hour shifts, people still find the time.

 

His profile is on Match.com. That's a dating site. If he wanted to be with you or be exclusive with you or have anything substantial with you, he would not be endangering chances with you by putting his profile online to meet other women. Right there is a big sign. The only thing you'll end up getting from him is a visit when he's in town (because he does like you and is most likely attracted to you)and a possible booty call. If that's what you want, then that I'm sure he'll give you, but if you expect anything more, expect a broken heart.

[BeenThere]

So sorry for you, Janice. Seems your friend is moving on, however gradually. I can only hope you find the confidence to do the same. Don't spend too much time grieving over this one. Afterall, you've only been dating 3 months. Most people won't even commit to an exclusive relationship that early on in the game. Better to cut you losses now...

My boyfriend of 3 months is continually on travel and never here. His job is transfering him to another city 12 hours away. We were exclusively dating, but since his transfer he created an account on Match.com and is sending out his profile to women in Atlanta. I talked to him about it and told him I was willing to work w/ him on this because I liked him. He told me he could only take things day by day. He calls me when he is in town, but not to see me....just to say hello. This has been going on for 3 weeks and making me crazy. He has enough stress because of travel and this move I don't want to make more. I did try to talk and he is not talking to me. He has no time to date anyone so I really doubt he is dating. I do think the intent is there through Match.com. I wonder if I should start dating because he says "one day at a time" etc. This sounds like we are not exclusive along w/ never seeing him. He is out of country until Christmas now so I cannot talk to him and he won't email me becaue he hates it. He will though email the new girls...I guess. What should I do? I really love him.