Kenyth Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 I know if my current marriage ever ends, it will take one HELL of a woman to convince me to marry again. Mind you, I'll ride this one out to the end. I'm not a quitter. I still have hopes for it. IF it happens though. I have two children now and I feel I have successfully propigated. From past experience, I feel one of the worst things you can do to children after the divorce is give them a step-parent to deal with. Marriage has been bittersweet for me. My life enriches with children and household possessions, but I am generally otherwise miserable as every person I care about fights around me and want's me to choose them at the others expense. I don't need the drama. I'm a little lonely while single, but otherwise reasonably happy. I feel many women see men not as a husband to love, but a resource to control. That's not to say all women will treat men so, but rather that I didn't previously have the wisdom to differentiate between them. I'll try my best to make sure I have this wisdom before marrying again. I get more sex when I'm single and dating and I have more freedom. I really don't see the reason to get married again unless I found a REALLY great woman. So, what I'm saying is that trying relationships and the complications of mixed family ties from previous marriages probably have a lot to do with people deciding to remain single. Every time you start over, your savings and many of your life's dreams disappear. As a man you usually lose your home, daily access to your children, and sometimes pets too. It's a lot to ask someone to risk that again. Link to post Share on other sites
Kenyth Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 I'd also like to add that from my experience, being lazy in the relationship department leads to many of our woe's. I ignored many red flags in retrospect. My indifference to these flags cost me a lot. I have to spend the first few years of marriage trying to make it work when a little diligence on my part would have made sure it worked BEFOREHAND! If it's not working well when you're dating, you can't be afraid to let it go and try again. Don't delude yourself by saying, "It will all work out in the end.", and certainly don't lie and temporarily act different to try and keep the other person around. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Ahhh, Kenyth! Some wisdom what a breath of fresh air Link to post Share on other sites
Kenyth Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Ahhh, Kenyth! Some wisdom what a breath of fresh air If only I didn't have to learn things the hard way! Link to post Share on other sites
riobikini Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 re: Padameckla: " I am curious to know why you have chosen to remain single for the rest of your life? " Although, I've never made the statement, "I'll never marry again.", I *have* chosen to stay single for very long periods. Similar to being in an incubater, I've *needed* the time to adjust, accept, recover, and reform regarding having gone through particularly life-changing events and circumstances, and with situations that caused my emotions, attitude, and general perspective to demand some especially major attention and subsequent 'overhaul'. Those were times when diving into another romantic relationship was the last thing I needed. I believe choosing to remain single during those times -no matter how long it takes to acheive the outcome- is a *good* thing; it can only make you a wiser, stronger, and a more positively-focused individual, provided you went about it in the right way. As for being single versus being married, or in a romantic relationship (either committed or uncommitted) -I don't think either one is better than the other; I think it depends on who you are and, where you're at in the specific given period of change. -Rio Link to post Share on other sites
Mirage222 Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 It just baffles me how people can just ignor companionship...my mother says she will not marry again. But for younger people. 20s 30s and 40s how can one say they will never marry..?? Easily. I don't understand how you are baffled about people ignoring campanionship because they don't want to marry? Campaionship does come with out marriage so does many other 'feelings of a relatiobship'. Marriage is not everything when you already have everything you want in a relationship. I will not say I will NEVER (too harsh a word this day and age) get married but I am happy how my relationship is without marriage. I do have the companionship, the honesty, the friend, the love already... Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 I find that when I'm dating someone I have a lot less time for myself and my own activities. Life is easier and less stressful when i'm "flying solo" (not to mention much cheaper ).... My experience has been that when i'm with someone then i want to be by myself and when i'm not with someone I want to be with someone. You just cannot win, i guess. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 I find that when I'm dating someone I have a lot less time for myself and my own activities. Life is easier and less stressful when i'm "flying solo" (not to mention much cheaper ).... My experience has been that when i'm with someone then i want to be by myself and when i'm not with someone I want to be with someone. You just cannot win, i guess. I could have written this. I totally agree. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 I could have written this. I totally agree. hmm, yes b_O...you and I do have some symbiotic connection.... Link to post Share on other sites
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