My ex is an addict

[sno]

Ok my ex is in prison at this time for trying to kill me. He was a cocanie addict. I have never had a drug addiction so I was wondering if when he gets out will be more than likely go right back to using or will this couple of years in prison helped him....No I don't want him back. Never. But I was just wondering because he would not be abusive until he got on the drug and started coming off...otherwise he was a very sweet guy. And I accually in a way am scared because he will be getting out soon....will he get high and coming looking for me. I'm just curious.

[blind_otter]

He very well could, you should have an unlisted phone number, and try to make it a difficult for him to find you as you can. I hope you're not living in the same place.

 

I have an ex in prison for trying to kill a friend of mine, while he was cracked out. I plan on moving to the other side of the country before he gets out.

[sno]

I am living back home with my parents and he had only came here maybe one time. I dont think he could find it here. I just wish he could get some help. I dont want to be with him but I wish he would change, not be on cocaine or in jail for the rest of his life. I think I should be safe though.

[blind_otter]

Stop right there. You need to stop hoping he'll change. He is an adult, responsible for himself, and he has to deal with the consequences of his actions. If he can't find it within himself to get sober, he never will. I myself am a recovering addict. I hope you've at least gone to crisis counseling about your attempted murder.

[sno]

Stop right there. You need to stop hoping he'll change. He is an adult, responsible for himself, and he has to deal with the consequences of his actions. If he can't find it within himself to get sober, he never will. I myself am a recovering addict. I hope you've at least gone to crisis counseling about your attempted murder.

 

Yeah I have...I dont really care. About him at least... I just dont want to see anyone else hurt. Anyother females, people in general. when he is on drugs he is a very very violent person.

[stronger_daily]

Of course he could come back to find you. That would be the case even if he wasn't an addict. Prison doesn't change people unless they let it. He can get meaner or he can get nicer. None of it matters. All that matters is that you take the proper precautions to keep yourself safe.

 

And stop worrying about other people and other families. They're not your concern. What he decides to do is what he decides to do. You'll drive yourself nuts thinking about everyone else. Just hope for the best and then let it go and put yourself first.

[sno]

Yeah Im not really worring about it too much..It isnt something I stress..I was just more or less thinking about what the probablity would be of him becoming sober is.

[stronger_daily]

Hmmm...that's a tough one. Once an addict always an addict. That doesn't mean that someone can't be sober for a long time and even forever, but that possibility is there and the struggle is daily whether he's had access to the drugs for a long period of time or not.

 

It isn't that the craving lessens, but the coping with the craving strengthens. So it all really depends on the individual. I wish I could tell you something more, but honestly there is no one answer.

[sno]

Hmmm...that's a tough one. Once an addict always an addict. That doesn't mean that someone can't be sober for a long time and even forever, but that possibility is there and the struggle is daily whether he's had access to the drugs for a long period of time or not.

 

It isn't that the craving lessens, but the coping with the craving strengthens. So it all really depends on the individual. I wish I could tell you something more, but honestly there is no one answer.

 

 

I know everyone is different. and it will just have to be in the hands of God. I was just curious on how likely it is. I guess I have just been thinking the past couple of days. I hope since it has been a couple of years he will sober up. But then at the same time he could have people sneaking it in to him because he does have 19 infractions and now in admin segregation...no I have no contact with him I looked it up on the nc doc website. Also those years could not have any affect if everyday he just wanted to get out to use again. I know it depends on him. And hopefully I will never know what he does I hope to never see him again. I guess its curiousity that cant be answered??

[Ladywithafan]

...he likes to get high & when he came out, you know that was the first thing he wanted to do, besides me.

 

If he's an addict, yes he probably will...and once he starts back up, he may have different coping and or minimizing skills in regards to the drug...but, it could get much worse before it gets better, especially if he gets back in with the same crowd which equals same problems...

 

Mine has at least learned to stay away from everyone...still smoking but by himself.

 

and all of our fights are because once he starts, even by himself, he always wants more when it's gone...

[sno]

...he likes to get high & when he came out, you know that was the first thing he wanted to do, besides me.

 

If he's an addict, yes he probably will...and once he starts back up, he may have different coping and or minimizing skills in regards to the drug...but, it could get much worse before it gets better, especially if he gets back in with the same crowd which equals same problems...

 

Mine has at least learned to stay away from everyone...still smoking but by himself.

 

and all of our fights are because once he starts, even by himself, he always wants more when it's gone...

 

I hope you are very careful. I know how stressful it can be to be with an addict. I remember oh so well the nights my ex couldn't get anymore cocaine...it was a nightmare. My ex crowd is his family, the only place he has to go when he gets out....So I am sure he will start right back again....when it is right in front of his face.