I don't understand: you love someone and then they rip your heart out

[Guest]

Well I met my ex g/f about 5 years ago we dated for almost 4 of them. The whole time I was with her I was completly faithful to her not once cheated on her.

 

 

Well l started a tech school last year to be an automtive technician and my ex and I got an apartment together because at the time our relationhip was fairly good. Well as time went by we started struggling with money issues and one major one was because she didn't have a job and she had basically gave up on finding one cause she said no one would hire her. In the mist of this some of few good times we had she would say she wanted to get married.

 

Yes I loved her and I wanted to but at that time our relationship wasn't the best and I was in school and plus we were not in the best financial situation and I told her hoping she would understand. But I promised her we would get married but at that time it was just hay wire.

 

Then there was a point she wanted a baby I'm like oh my God we can't even take care of ourselves but she says I always say no to her. At one time she was dead broke and I was trying to take care of both of us and her family would absolutly not help her only way they would help her is if she went back home. My family and myself have been the only people her.

 

Well I finished school in north carolina and I got accepted to a grad program in florida. When I told her that seems like things got worse she was positive that I would leave and find someone when I never gave her a reason for thinking so but I guess her mom and friends told her that. I told her I loved her and I would come back to her and I promised her that and I had to be in fl for 3 months thats it. I left for florida at the end of april.

 

She cheated on me at the beginning of april and she told me in june and to make it worse when she told me she cheated she was talking to someone else. Well we broke up in june needless to say the guy she was messing with used her and she was basically his convenient peice of you know what.

 

Well things I guess got screwed up with them and she tells me she made a big mistake and she would do anything to get me back and so we talked and talked and it seem things would get better. Well lastnite she says lets get married in Sept. I'm like are you serious. I'm thinking you ripped my heart out a month ago and you talking about marriage in 2 months.

 

I just don't get it, so now shes saying that I will never change and I will never give her what she wants. I don't understand how I've loved her was loyal to her helped her out as much as I could and even my family helped her and she does this. It hurts

[JackJack]

She's a needy clingy person who is looking for marriage and a baby to make her complete. I say its time to move on from her. Keep doing what you're doing, go to school study for whatever you want to do, get you a job and become at least become some what finacilly secure before getting married and having kids. Some people are looking for a free ride, which is what it sounds like shes wanting. Even after you told her you wanted to be more secure money wise, she went and cheated and still doesn't care about what you have said.

[Spectre]

Just drop her, let the next guy deal with her skanky tendencies

 

 

I know how you feel, youre confused cuz u dont wanna let her go, youre wondering if its your fault.

 

Well, it isnt, it takes very little will power to not put a penis inside you, this girl lacks even that small a degree of self control? its not worth it

 

Do not fall for her, do not be effected if she says she will change, even if she DOES, it doesnt change the fact she betrayed you and cant possibly love you the way you love her. atleast this came out now, instead of 20 years down the line

 

edit: and do NOT marry her! any girl who cheats, whether she does a complete 180 afterwards or not, is NOT wifey material, any man who thinks otherwise is delusional. Do not make the mistake some many others have by taking her back

[ronnieromance]

She's an attention whore. Make her come over to your place, by bus, prefferably and on her own coin. Make sure you have something to do the following day...early...Screw her in the most debauched depraved way you can and tell her it was really nice knowing her.

 

Let her take the bus home so she can think about what a whore she is during the ride. She doesn't respect you. If she did, she wouldn't think you'd be weak enough to entertain marriage.

 

Treat a ho like a ho.

 

 

-R-

[norajane]

Selfish, needy, and basically looking to you to take care of her for the rest of her life without doing a thing to help you.

 

I think your warning flag should have been when she decided to stop looking for a job because 'no one would want to hire her'. WTF?

 

Do you really want a life with someone who think you will never give her 'what she wants', who cheats, who will be dependent on you financially forever, who seems to have no common sense about responsibility?

[Outcast]

I will never change and I will never give her what she wants.

 

Ohh good heavens! She's one of those women who thinks men are born to serve them. RUN AWAY FAST, guy! You can do WAY better than that one. Honestly. Marry her and you'll be miserable.

[Computer]

Hi,

 

WTF!!! She asked you to give her a child when you two barely can take care of yourselves? Next time, use this line: "Are you crazy?!! Bytch we poe (= a slang for 'poor')!! I don't know what YOU think we are, but I think that's the case." LOL

 

Alright, now on a serious level, she's actually a GONER. She cheated - which means she disqualified herself as a potential long-tern partner. She's not marriage material. I think Spectre said it the best way possible. Now what YOU did wrong was hold a conversation with her afterward. After a while she will feel no remorse for what she did b/c she had a chance to make you feel less bitter about her little situation. But I think you should handle this differently than most men would. Have some class and pride; leave her and don't look back on this. After today you should try and have no words for her. She will learn the hard way.

[purspeed]

Purspeed to the rescue:

 

Your g/f suffers from classic low self-esteem. She liked you at first, then novelty wore off, low self esteem kicked in and said, "I'm a loser and this loser likes me? He must be an idiot...I'm going find a real man". You started chasing her now (the dynamic changed, you see), the more you chased, the more she despised you.

 

Then, she decided to bang another sausage. She realized that he ain't gonna throw down cash to support her (as he lost interest). Now, she said, let me go back to the sucker.

 

So, tell me. Are you a sucker? How low is your self esteem?

[john2776]

She's an attention whore. Make her come over to your place, by bus, prefferably and on her own coin. Make sure you have something to do the following day...early...Screw her in the most debauched depraved way you can and tell her it was really nice knowing her.

 

Let her take the bus home so she can think about what a whore she is during the ride. She doesn't respect you. If she did, she wouldn't think you'd be weak enough to entertain marriage.

 

Treat a ho like a ho.

 

 

-R-

Oh Ronnie! If I wasn't at work I'd be pissing myself laughing and rolling around the floor! What a brilliant idea. I just love the fact that it leaves her on a bus thinking about what a whore she is. Just brilliant. It is what this girl deserves.

[Outcast]

All right people. There's no need to call someone names. Cripes.

[purspeed]

If she's cute, would you mind forwarding her number?

[bananas]

Purspeed to the rescue:

 

Your g/f suffers from classic low self-esteem. She liked you at first, then novelty wore off, low self esteem kicked in and said, "I'm a loser and this loser likes me? He must be an idiot...I'm going find a real man". You started chasing her now (the dynamic changed, you see), the more you chased, the more she despised you.

 

Then, she decided to bang another sausage. She realized that he ain't gonna throw down cash to support her (as he lost interest). Now, she said, let me go back to the sucker.

 

So, tell me. Are you a sucker? How low is your self esteem?

 

This guy is spot on as usual, If this doesn't strike a chord I don't know what will. Do you want to be a sucker? Do you want to be a mere "provider" while she is out getting her jollies with "real men"?

[Pantero]

You did nothing wrong.

[Computer]

Still, I think this is A LOT easier said than done. And I'm sure we've all be in a situation where we had to make a choice: stay or opt out. But I'll bet 25k on his ticket

[Nice Guy21]

Hello everyone I'm the one that started this thread and I thought I would join the site. The thing is I do love her thats the only reason a part of me wished it would work but I realize more and more that there is a woman out there that would appreciate me. Right now its still kinda hard although the stuff I've mentioned is pretty screwed up but you still love that person. Another thing is she would just settled for what she wants meaning if I married her and got her preagnant thats all she wants and nuthin else and thats not appealing at all. She doesn't even wanna have a job with responsibility she says she would be just fine making 12 to 14 dollars an hour. That money isn't awful but atleast set your goals high but oh well.

[JCD]

You need a more mature girl, one that can take care of herself. I was just thinking that your girl could have child with you then dump you and you end up paying child support for next two decades while she screws another guy who you would be indirectly supporting. That would be a whammy.

[crazy_grl]

I think you're lucky she didn't poke holes in the condoms. Be glad she went looking for another meal ticket instead of trapping you.

 

Be done with this one. Hopefully she'll learn her lesson from this and grow up a little.

[Outcast]

the stuff I've mentioned is pretty screwed up but you still love that person.

 

Yes but you can't always live with a person you love. The screwed-upness kills the love pretty fast when you're stuck living with it.

[sooth]

OK you may love her and want to keep her but clearly trust is an issue - so why not tell her you'll stay with her but you won't get married for a long time - then see what she does. If she won't buy that, she's not worth it. If she agrees, but later is unfaithful again, finish it. If she stays faithful, that's good and will re-build trust - and one day you'll know for sure whether she loves you (she may not now, but may come to).

Trust is 2-way, she has to trust you too.

[Nice Guy21]

She won't buy that she still says shes not getting what she want. The funny thing its almost like she thinks I"m supposed to work to get her back but when in fact she screwed up. I'm pretty much ready to be done with the whole situation the only thing is now we had an apartment together and gotta finish out the lease only 1 more month.

[bananas]

ditch the nice guy schtick and start bringing home women.