Parents need to respect their kids as well

[Maddy]

I believe most parents tend to view their sons and daughters as robots or property that do not have the same needs and rights as they do. Well I'm here to say that children and adult children are human beings too. Yes we have to respect our parents, but they have to respect us as well, it can't be one-sided. If parents really "love" their kids as they say they do, then be happy for them in the decisions they make in choosing a job or career if they're happy with what they do. Don't be so obsessed with them being "the best" or having a bachelor's degree or having a lot of money as if that makes them a better person because it doesn't. You're sending him or her the message that you only love them for what they do and not for who they are. So respect your kids and the choices they make. You'll have a healthier relationship if you do.

[angel915]

i couldn't agree with you more!!! there's so many parents out there who only cares about the achievements of their kids. i'm lucky to say that my parents love me for who i am and repect my decision whatever i choose to do with my life. i wish others are treated the same way.

[sno]

I believe most parents tend to view their sons and daughters as robots or property that do not have the same needs and rights as they do. Well I'm here to say that children and adult children are human beings too. Yes we have to respect our parents, but they have to respect us as well, it can't be one-sided. If parents really "love" their kids as they say they do, then be happy for them in the decisions they make in choosing a job or career if they're happy with what they do. Don't be so obsessed with them being "the best" or having a bachelor's degree or having a lot of money as if that makes them a better person because it doesn't. You're sending him or her the message that you only love them for what they do and not for who they are. So respect your kids and the choices they make. You'll have a healthier relationship if you do.

 

The bible says to Honor your mother and father, not the other way around

Ya know your parents are scared, worried, hopeful, joyful...etc etc etc. Why because they want you to be the "best". I don't know how old you are but you are obviously young. I want you to know about my story and ya know all this wouldn't have happened if I would have just listened and respected my mom. She was right not me....I am 21 years old now. At 15 I ran away with my boyfriend at the time....She searched all of North Carolina for me. Luckily she found me this time before anything bad happen to me. Ok three years go by....I am constently doing things my mom asked me not to, disobeying her, fighting with her, treatening to leave again. Now I am a 17 year old who has graduated...I think I am grown. I run away with my new boyfriend. First I am going to say he was a drug dealer, I worked had a pretty good job. Barely could make ends meat...you think its easy out in the real world its not. He begain beating me. But the last time he beat me it was to kill me. He was on drugs which I did't know about until we moved in togather. One night he was going through withdraw and he didn't have any money to buy some more cocaine. The beating began around 12 and ended about 2 am. He hit me, choked me until I blacked out then wrapped a belt around me neck to continue choking me, hit me with the metal part of the belt, broke my phone so I couldn't call for help. I'm not talking about a couple of bruises, when I looked in the mirror I looked as if I was a monster. My head was so swollen, bruises the size of grapefruit on my legs, you could see the whole hand print on my arm. After it ended he wouldn't go to sleep he sat and watched me, told me how much he loved me, cried while saying look what I have done to my baby. I was out of my head talking crazy. I would say something on accident to make him mad, and he would began yelling again. I quickly snapped back into it and would apologize. I could eat or drink it hurt too bad but that was good. Because 9 am the next morning the police showed up. I was so scared of him at first I wouldn't tell on him, they took him to jail and came back. That is when I told. I was transported to the hospital. I spent about two weeks in icu at Baptist. I had a broken orbit bone, broken nose, lose tooth, and mainly a hole in my trachea. I wasn't allowed to eat because even a chip of ice may go straight to my lungs and kill me. They wanted to put a feeding tube down me but I wanted to give it a couple of days. They lord let me live that awful experience, I defiantly wasn't going to starve to death. He wanted me here for a reason. And I was right the next day the hole was gone. It grew back on its own!!! If I would have just respected my mom instead of begged for her respect I wouldn't have had to go through that aweful experience, even after he was put in prison I had nightmare after nightmare...reliving it. Wake up think I was still with him. The point of me telling you this is my Mom who didn't love me or respect me is the only person in this world that came a sat by my bed in icu for every min of everyday that I was in icu. And she was the one who in her free time was searching all over the state for me.

[sno]

achievements.

 

What is an achievement to a parent....nothing. They try get you to do your best, and of course they are proud of you if you do. But in parents eyes even if you haven't achieved anything in this world they love you just the same. But what would a parent be if they said ok I don't care if you succeed, I don't care if you finish school, I don't care if you go to college, I don't care just lay around the house all day Party, etc. That isn't parenting. Oh I was there at one time, I ran away was gonna quit high school, My mom searched everywhere for me found me just in time. I hadn't yet missed to many days of High School to finish. Then I started cna classes right after H.S. dropped out, Then finially six months later took it again finished it, begain nursing school dropped out, begain cosmetology school dropped out, I have finially finished my medical transcription degree, and will start nursing next spring. But it would have been alot easier and I wouldn't have so many bills if I would have achieved everything when my parents tried to push me. When I was telling them to let me live, I was just a teen. I can go back to school later. Blah blah. The reason you don't understand this is right now you are a teen I assume who wants to live life instead of what their parents what. You want be this young forever, your parents want be here forever. One day you will wake up and realize what you parents are really doing when they try to get you to achieve....its coming from love.

[Elyssa]

Throwing bible quotes around to make a point is nonsense imho.

 

Sno, I'm sorry about all that happened to you and I'm glad you finally got in the right path, but not everybody is like you. Some people actually is pretty mature in their teen years.

 

I had the european equivalent to a bachelor's degree by age of 18. I would not have gotten it until later on if I had stuck to what my parents said (finish high school, then go to college!). I was ready for college and the only ones who didn't realize that were my parents. I ignored their wishes in that respect and got my way. I did wonderfully in college. Now I am 28, they are happy that I did not listen to them, and realize they were wrong at the time.

 

Respect must go both ways. Parents are only human... they want the best for you, but not always know the best way to achieve it. Being your own person and figuring out how to achieve your own goals and then doing it is the key to success. Of course, listening to your parent's experiences and points of view might help, but in the end, it's your life. You must make your own mistakes and learn from them.

 

-Elyssa

[sno]

Throwing bible quotes around to make a point is nonsense imho.

 

Sno, I'm sorry about all that happened to you and I'm glad you finally got in the right path, but not everybody is like you. Some people actually is pretty mature in their teen years.

 

I had the european equivalent to a bachelor's degree by age of 18. I would not have gotten it until later on if I had stuck to what my parents said (finish high school, then go to college!). I was ready for college and the only ones who didn't realize that were my parents. I ignored their wishes in that respect and got my way. I did wonderfully in college. Now I am 28, they are happy that I did not listen to them, and realize they were wrong at the time.

 

Respect must go both ways. Parents are only human... they want the best for you, but not always know the best way to achieve it. Being your own person and figuring out how to achieve your own goals and then doing it is the key to success. Of course, listening to your parent's experiences and points of view might help, but in the end, it's your life. You must make your own mistakes and learn from them.

 

-Elyssa

 

 

My first point....Whether you mature at an "early" age or not The world is a real world....At 15 I had a rent payment....at 16 i had a car payment, insurance etc. I know bills don't make you mature. But sweetie the "REAL" world is NOT fun and games. Your parents deserve respect because they provide a roof over your head, provide food for you to eat, a bed to sleep in, etc. What do you do for your parents? They do this for 18 years. For the most part your situation doesnt exist...Your parents was doing the same thing as mine and everyother one does yes they want you to achieve not fail. They thought this would be too hard for you. Your parents are your parents they are there to tell you what to do until you become legal age. Second...this is a forum ok...So I am allowed to throw any questions I please around...I am throwing around biblical questions to help people as yourself. Not trying to be rude but its true. It says HONOR YOUR PARENTS God bless your mothers womb with you. And he intended for her to guide you, help you, and parent you. It is a sin to do otherwise. I am not saying they should mistreat you in anyway but they don't have to let you do what ever you want to do. A biblical answer is the only way to answer this. Find anywhere in the bible it says Honor your kids. And kind of funny that Honor your parents is one of the Ten commandments.

[sno]

Ok while we are talking about it. Yeah I am glad you got your degree early...Ok but lets say you waited on your parents because they thought you wasn't ready. You say you would have still gotten it later right? Ok then what is the problem. For the most part teenager aren't like you. Most don't go to college while they are in high school. Most live a teenager life. I am not saying they are like me either. But they are somewhere in the middle. And a parent should or could listen to a childs veiws but they don't have to let a child do what they want. A parent is there to show you until you have the "knowledge" of making decisions yourself. At legal age is when you decide whether you should keep going in the same direction or should you choose your own path. And trust me I know what it can be like to bump heads with your parents. I am completely different than my mom still am somethings will never change. But no one will die because they obey their parents for a couple of years.

[Maddy]

I'm not saying parents shouldn't care, I'm saying they shouldn't be obsessed with your achievements and success.

[sno]

If parents where so obsessed with achievements would yours have wanted you to go ahead and get your bach. deg.? That would be a big achievement way more that honor roll at h.s.

[slinkysu]

I believe most parents tend to view their sons and daughters as robots or property that do not have the same needs and rights as they do. Well I'm here to say that children and adult children are human beings too. Yes we have to respect our parents, but they have to respect us as well, it can't be one-sided. If parents really "love" their kids as they say they do, then be happy for them in the decisions they make in choosing a job or career if they're happy with what they do. Don't be so obsessed with them being "the best" or having a bachelor's degree or having a lot of money as if that makes them a better person because it doesn't. You're sending him or her the message that you only love them for what they do and not for who they are. So respect your kids and the choices they make. You'll have a healthier relationship if you do.

 

Are you a parent?

 

I used to think your way and then i realised i was wrong. My parents wanted the best for me because they wanted me to have as good a life as i possibly could. At the end of the day they loved me regardless and it was me that thought they were obsessed with grades, degrees, education, when that wasn't the case. yes they wanted me to do well but above all they wanted me to be fit, healthy and happy.

 

You seem to focus only on what you think your parents want for you - i think you'd be surprised if you actually knew what they really felt - and unless you are a parent yourself, you will never fully understand. Give them a break - you have no idea what they have given up to give you a good life and education and one day you will appreciate what it is they are trying to instill in you and how they are merely trying to help you achieve in a competitive and generally uncaring world.

 

Be grateful that they care for you -many people have parents who neglect the, beat them, disown them and abuse them. If the worse you can complain about is that your parents want you to get a good education then you should consider yourself lucky.

 

if you don't believe me go and talk to a child counsellor who deals with abused kids and count your lucky stars.