brenda829 Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 Please can you tell me how you planned a separation? I feel so lost, and alone:lmao:.I don't have any friends, or family just my daughter, I don't have a job or any type of financial support. You have read some of my threads about the type of man I am married too. Some times he is so nice to me (15%) of the time that is, then (85%)of the time he is not here or is being really mean to me, I am not happy I have asked him to move out a few times not and I was really serious and he always thinks I am not serious and says I know you love me and never does leave, what can I do, if I can't get help here is there any other sites you can tell me about where I can find the information I am looking for, please.:lmao::lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 I guess this is not a conversation that you can have with him... because he is just not going to accept it? Do you see your daughter living with you? (Obviously the answer is yes, but what role do you see for her father?) 15% isn't even close to 50%. And 50% is only half of 100%. I'm just showing off my amazing grasp of maths. Sometimes in life you don't know whether to laugh or cry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brenda829 Posted July 12, 2006 Author Share Posted July 12, 2006 How do I leave I am so confused and he is not helping me by not leaving and granting my wish that I want to separate, why should I spend the rest of my life miserable with someone that treats me like crap and never sees me as a person only as a door mat, he never takes me out or shows me he cares. Link to post Share on other sites
Becoming Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 Legal separation papers or divorce papers should do the trick. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brenda829 Posted July 12, 2006 Author Share Posted July 12, 2006 In canada where can I get legal separtaion papers? Link to post Share on other sites
Author brenda829 Posted July 12, 2006 Author Share Posted July 12, 2006 I really wanted to do the separation as clean as possible with no hurt feelings, or feelings of hate just as painless as possible... Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 Painless is not a realistic goal. Ending even the worst marriage will be painful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brenda829 Posted July 12, 2006 Author Share Posted July 12, 2006 I know that the whole process is going to be emotionally draining on me, but the way I am living with this man is just as draining:( either way I am going to struggle Link to post Share on other sites
Becoming Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 So you might as well struggle for good, huh? Good for you. I really don't know the answers to your question in Canada. Is there someone/somewhere you (and child?) can stay for awhile until you get on your feet? Link to post Share on other sites
Author brenda829 Posted July 12, 2006 Author Share Posted July 12, 2006 I don't want to get my family involved I really want to do it all on my own as I don't really have much of a support system:( I have tried to leave abusive relationships in the past and my sister steered me right back to the abuser, and my eldest sister told me basically you made your bed, you know how the saying goes............And my two brothers are living in abusive relationships as well, I would just be a burdon. Link to post Share on other sites
Becoming Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 No, you don't want to go into another abusive situation that will make you think all this is "normal." What about a friend with an extra room who'd be willing to let you stay a couple months until you can get on your feet. I hardly know you, and I'd let you stay with me. Often the domestic abuse center knows of such folks. Seriously, contact them. TODAY! Link to post Share on other sites
Author brenda829 Posted July 12, 2006 Author Share Posted July 12, 2006 Hi I actually don't have any friends but I am willing to make it to a meeting where I can hear other womans stories and such that is if anything like that exsists. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brenda829 Posted July 12, 2006 Author Share Posted July 12, 2006 hi I hope noone gave up on me:( I am trying very hard to follow through with the suggestions that I so long desire, please don't give up on me I am not a hopeless case:( Link to post Share on other sites
Becoming Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 Not giving up. It takes a lot of courage to do what you're trying to do and you've been beaten down so long you don't know what to believe anymore. It takes awhile to see all the lies for what they are. So we're here, cheering you on, but you're going to have to be the one acting despite the difficulty and all the fear that's enslaved you. Go dial the number to the domestic violence shelter and talk to the person who answers. Start off by telling them you're so afraid. They understand. They get this all the time; that's what they do. Tell them all you're afraid of so they can help you. Your heart pounding and being afraid is your body's way of telling you this is a matter of life and death. Use the adrenaline to choose life because to stay could mean death for both you and your daughter. Choose life! Link to post Share on other sites
Author brenda829 Posted July 13, 2006 Author Share Posted July 13, 2006 I did follow through with calling the domestic violence help line and now I have an appointment to see a counseller tomorrow. Link to post Share on other sites
Becoming Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: YEAH, YOU! :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: Let us know how it turns out tomorrow, ok? Remember, stealth is your friend right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Craig Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 I did follow through with calling the domestic violence help line and now I have an appointment to see a counseller tomorrow. Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!! Thank you for making the call. :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
Haunani Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 Trust in yourself that things will work out. My head was fogged for I don't know how long trying to decide what needs to be done. In what order are they done? Who deals with legality all the time, certainly not me. But there comes a time in your life when you just know - 'this is it', you've had enough and when that time comes whatever you need to do for the sake of you and your child, then you do it. For your sanity and protection, get help, Women's shelters, Emergency Shelters, anything and call everyone. Protect yourselves. It's not easy living in fear and having to think you have to 'deal with it', and that's all there is in life...there is much more, you just have to take that first step and do it. It's terrifying as all hell., but not more terrifying than staying in a relationship you don't want or need. This is yours and your daughters life. Don't let her see what this is doing to you. Stay strong and keep your head held high, things will work out. Count your blessings daily. Congrads on this call you made, it may be the one call you needed to change your life. hang tough! Link to post Share on other sites
Becoming Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 Just checking . . . how're things going? I'll be away for a couple days, but I just wanted to let you know you're in my prayers. Link to post Share on other sites
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