Am I wrong?

[Idontknow]

My girlfriend broke up with me, 2 days ago. I tried to get back, but she would not. After 2 years of a relationship, it was over. I messaged her online, and said that I would not bother her any longer about that and I was going to get on with my life. I said that I was moving to the other college campus, (reason being.. I'm only at this location for her). She said no, she said that she'd never see me again. What! She dumped me and now wants to see me? I told her that I want to see her again, and that I do love her. She said she just needs time. She said she needs time to think about it. I asked how long, she said she didn't know. It had already been 3 weeks. I asked about a round figure. She said 3 months. I told her that I may not be here, or that my thoughts may change in three months. She said that is the risk we are going to have to take. I have decided that it was best to stop contact, ex. online, phone, in person. We usually always talk online. Today, in work, was the last time I talked to her in which I said for the final time, "I love you, goodbye" ... she just said "bye". No "I love you". I have not talked to her since, and I do not plan to at all. Is playing hard to get the best policy here? I really do want to be with her, but I need to make her realize this. Everyone tells me she never had it so good with me. Her last boyfriend hit her, and did other mean things, really mean things. I have never done any of that. I've treated her with respect and have loved her the whole time that I've been with her. I have been there when times have been bad for her, to cheer her up. I've even saved her life once. We've had so many things that we've done together. I'm in my second year of college, and she's a Senior in high school. I am not sure if what I did was right. In my mind, talking to her might make her less likely to go back with me. I am not sure though. Please help with your input.

[Tony T]

In my opinion, this relationship is over. Many women don't want to say a final good-bye until they are firmly planted in another relationship. It sounds like she wants to keep you available for her in case nothing else works out. Both men and women do this all the time. But I promise you she would not have broken up with you if she didn't have her eyes on someone else.

 

A person who truly cares for another doesn't break up with them. Please try to understand this. I know it's painful. Not only should you play hard to get but you should play impossible to get. The only way you're going to get over this lady is to cease all contact.

 

I know this isn't what you want to hear but if you annoy her you will ruin any and all chances for getting back with her in the future...if there is even the slightest chance anyway.

 

It you hang around waiting for her, you will be playing yourself for a major fool. Try to get this love stuff straight. When a lady tells you to take a walk, tell her better yet you'll take a rocket ride...right out of her life.

 

Why give her the ego boost of knowing you are squirming to have her back? There are just too many wonderful ladies in the world to wait around for this one. The is playing you like a Nintendo game. If she cared for you, she wouldn't have broken it off...and she wouldn't be wanting you to stick around while she tries out the rest of the store.

 

Now, please, for the sake of your own dignity...leave her alone.

[Idontknow]

I just wanted to add that she is definately not checking out other guys. I know that for a fact. This all happened over a arguement. I thank you for your input Tony, you have confirmed my planned actions. I plan to follow them so very much. I even sometimes have to drive down her street to get places, but since my car is easily spotted (rare) I will NOT. I will drive far away, and go around. I realize the relationship is over. Some people have even suggested I start dating again, and have even told some girls that I was free. I don't know if I can start dating again so soon. I also realize now that there is many fish in the pond.

In my opinion, this relationship is over. Many women don't want to say a final good-bye until they are firmly planted in another relationship. It sounds like she wants to keep you available for her in case nothing else works out. Both men and women do this all the time. But I promise you she would not have broken up with you if she didn't have her eyes on someone else. A person who truly cares for another doesn't break up with them. Please try to understand this. I know it's painful. Not only should you play hard to get but you should play impossible to get. The only way you're going to get over this lady is to cease all contact. I know this isn't what you want to hear but if you annoy her you will ruin any and all chances for getting back with her in the future...if there is even the slightest chance anyway. It you hang around waiting for her, you will be playing yourself for a major fool. Try to get this love stuff straight. When a lady tells you to take a walk, tell her better yet you'll take a rocket ride...right out of her life. Why give her the ego boost of knowing you are squirming to have her back? There are just too many wonderful ladies in the world to wait around for this one. The is playing you like a Nintendo game. If she cared for you, she wouldn't have broken it off...and she wouldn't be wanting you to stick around while she tries out the rest of the store. Now, please, for the sake of your own dignity...leave her alone.

[Tony T]

No, don't start dating right away. Give yourself a chance to heal from this before you start seeing other ladies. The fact that you would even think about doing this indicates either your relationship was not very deep or this hasn't sunk in for you yet. Keep yourself free for a while.

 

If you're lady doesn't have a guy in mind, and I personally think she does but we won't go into that now, she is using a truly nasty power play here. She is very confused and you don't need somebody in your life who has to break up with you just to get her head straight.

 

Whether or not she has a guy in mind, someone who cares about you doesn't break up with you just to decide what she wants to do and asks you to wait around for while to see what happens with her. That's just a bunch of bunk.

 

Now, if this is just PMS and she comes running back to you in a few days...you don't need that either. If this is as bizarre as she gets during her periods, you certainly don't need a life of that every month either.

 

I always say a break up is a break up. If someone announced ONE TIME that they don't want me around, their wish is instantly granted for all time.

 

I'm glad you are being very level headed and rational about this. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. One day you may have women totally figured out. At that time, please come back to this forum and tell us what you know!!!

 

And, yes, there are millions of ladies out there who would love you and wouldn't have to break up with you to get unconfused about themselves and life.