Can love come back?

[dwh]

I posted a previous thread on this site and appreciated everyone’s encouragement. Here’s the story:

My husband of two years told me a couple of weeks ago that he no longer desires me. After many more talks, he told me he didn’t think he was ready to get married when we did (we were 23). Not that he wasn’t sure about me, but settling down at that point in his life.

 

He says he wants passion in a marriage, and ours has died. He hasn’t come out and said it, but I think he is missing that spark of being “in love.” We didn’t have an awful relationship, it was pretty good most of the time, but we obviously didn’t talk about the big issues, or this would have come up earlier. My H has said that he knows marriage is work, but that maybe we waited until too long to try and solve this problem.

 

He is sleeping in our spare bedroom right now. I have tried to give him the space he asked for. He says he wants to figure some stuff out. But he believes that the feelings should just come back. I think that’s something that can be worked on.

 

Anyway, I have been trying to act as if we are divorcing so as not to get my hopes up for us. Yesterday I came home and I could tell he had been looking through our wedding pictures and old cards I had given him. Then he mentioned that he was open to going through this book I bought called “All About Us” in the hopes that talking about some of our earlier moments would bring those feelings back.

 

I’m not sure where to go from here. Last night got my hopes up that there is hope for us, but then when I asked him for a hug he gave me a sorry excuse for one. Maybe those feelings CAN be lost forever? I know that if we make it through this we will be stronger, but my emotions are on a rollercoaster right now.