Jon Posted October 3, 1999 Share Posted October 3, 1999 hey i'm kinda stuck here.. i just started going out with this gal and she's really nice and everything..but...i don't trust her i've been hurt heaps and i have alot of trouble trusting female's but wot bothers me most is she openly and happily tells me how cute n sexc other guys are liek on tv and in real life and i dunnno if i'm just being selfish but..I want the attention i feel really unwanted it feels like she's sucked me into the worlds hardest "hard to get" game.. i've talked to her about this and she says it's meaningless and she can't help it but i don't care it bothers me alot.. how do i turn the table around so she knows how i feel? i dunno wot to do..help? Link to post Share on other sites
J.P. Posted October 3, 1999 Share Posted October 3, 1999 The best thing to do is to tell her exactly how you feel. Just saying that a guy looks good or whatever isn't an advertisement for betrayal. Admiration of beauty is one thing; meeting that person later is another. From what you've described, she seems to be caring and understanding about your feelings, so she'll care about what you have to say. Just remember, she's with you, not the guys she comments on. She's with you for a reason - she cares for you. Remember that and the comments will pass. Link to post Share on other sites
Lena Posted October 4, 1999 Share Posted October 4, 1999 As a girl, I would say this behavior is perfectly harmless. I personally like to look at a lot of guys, but would have absolutely no interest in actually dating them. Girls tend to take into account personality more than looks (of course there are exceptions), and just because she's looking, it doesn't mean she really wants them. However, I do think that she should take into account your feelings and at least cut down on the comments when she's around you. If you want to continue the game, you should make comments about georgeous women and see how she handles it. Maybe then she'll see your point. hey i'm kinda stuck here.. i just started going out with this gal and she's really nice and everything..but...i don't trust her i've been hurt heaps and i have alot of trouble trusting female's but wot bothers me most is she openly and happily tells me how cute n sexc other guys are liek on tv and in real life and i dunnno if i'm just being selfish but..I want the attention i feel really unwanted it feels like she's sucked me into the worlds hardest "hard to get" game.. i've talked to her about this and she says it's meaningless and she can't help it but i don't care it bothers me alot.. how do i turn the table around so she knows how i feel? i dunno wot to do..help? Link to post Share on other sites
Totally Confused Posted October 4, 1999 Share Posted October 4, 1999 hey i'm kinda stuck here.. i just started going out with this gal and she's really nice and everything..but...i don't trust her i've been hurt heaps and i have alot of trouble trusting female's but wot bothers me most is she openly and happily tells me how cute n sexc other guys are liek on tv and in real life and i dunnno if i'm just being selfish but..I want the attention i feel really unwanted it feels like she's sucked me into the worlds hardest "hard to get" game.. i've talked to her about this and she says it's meaningless and she can't help it but i don't care it bothers me alot.. how do i turn the table around so she knows how i feel? i dunno wot to do..help? you are stuck in the Seduction/Switch stage of a relationship. girls can be merciless when they find a man that's whipped by them, which is how it sounds in your case. first of all, you said you don't trust her. that's what a relationship is made of love and trust. that's a biggie. why do you chose to stay with someone who you don't trust? she purposely doesn't complement you, because she knows it bothers you. that's also why she'll complement everything under the sun, but you. it's all a game. she likes the reactions you give her. it feeds her Ego, because she's insecure. When your girlfriend cuts you down, it's cause she's really more afraid to lose you. by giving you this challenge it keeps you insecure and therefore keeps you around, wondering why this girl doesn't think you're wonderful. overtime, you'll get sick of it and then the Switch will come into play all on it's own. unfortunately, you'll be so sick of her and the game that you won't want her and she's going to end up the miserable one. Play it cool, don't care and things will reverse, slowly, but surely - i promise. Link to post Share on other sites
odyne Posted October 5, 1999 Share Posted October 5, 1999 You may want to take a look at something someone posted a few days ago and people's responses to it. Your situation sounds similiar except the link i'm giving you is from the viewpoint of a woman. I hope things work out for you. http://www.loveshack.org/cgi-bin/lovetalk.pl?read=3211 -Odyne Link to post Share on other sites
mitch Posted October 11, 1999 Share Posted October 11, 1999 you are stuck in the Seduction/Switch stage of a relationship. girls can be merciless when they find a man that's whipped by them, which is how it sounds in your case. first of all, you said you don't trust her. that's what a relationship is made of love and trust. that's a biggie. why do you chose to stay with someone who you don't trust? she purposely doesn't complement you, because she knows it bothers you. that's also why she'll complement everything under the sun, but you. it's all a game. she likes the reactions you give her. it feeds her Ego, because she's insecure. When your girlfriend cuts you down, it's cause she's really more afraid to lose you. by giving you this challenge it keeps you insecure and therefore keeps you around, wondering why this girl doesn't think you're wonderful. overtime, you'll get sick of it and then the Switch will come into play all on it's own. unfortunately, you'll be so sick of her and the game that you won't want her and she's going to end up the miserable one. Play it cool, don't care and things will reverse, slowly, but surely - i promise. this advice is sweet.I have the same problem with my girlfriend only not quite as bad.but no matter what kinda game she plays i could never get sick of her Link to post Share on other sites
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