Is she interested?

[agking]

Hey there, hopefully you can give me some advice on my situation and the essay doesnt put you off reading.

 

Here goes;

 

So theres a girl i like (im male), and we have been good friends for almost 2 years now since i started university (in the UK). I have liked her for over a year now, and over the past few months she started what i thought was flirting whenever we whent out. She would hold my hand, hug me, dance with me etc. After a while she started putting her arm around me all the time on a night out and kissing me on the cheek and i began to wonder if she actually liked me. Now these actions only happened when we were on a night out, and so pretty much while she was under the influence of alcohol, and while i see her in other situations it only ever seemed to be the usual just friends interaction.

 

So i decided there was only one thing for it and asked her outright if these actions were her being more than friends and if it could lead to anything? She told me that she could not remember doing any of the things ive mentioned as she was drunk, she was sorry if i had got the wrong impression and that she didnt fancy me and wouldnt.

 

Now i was prepared to accept that and move on, despite the fact i dont totally believe her that she cant remember any of it, as i know her well enough to think thats not entirely true. However the previous situation has esculated into her kissing me on the lips many times on an evening out.

 

This is just totally confusing me. Is she doing it because she actually likes me despite what shes said? Is she truely not doing it on purpose and doesnt fancy me? Why is she kissing me when she clearly knows i like her, surely she can see thats not going to help me. Does she just want attention, and knows she can get it from me because i like her?

 

Any advice or points of view from anyone (a female point of view would be greatful) would really be appreciated as the whole thing is playing on my mind constantly and like to either get it sorted or put it to rest.

 

Many thanks in advance.

[agking]

anyone? please.

[scrybe74]

Dude.....you are overthinking this WAYYYY too much. I'm a guy....I've been there before. Listen...you did the right thing asking her straight out...now she knows you're interested. If she had any strong interest in you she would have made a move at that point. Read any thread on here about a girl liking a guy.....think about it...if that guy would have come out and spoken up like you did...I think (know) they would have done something about it.

 

So....why is she so flirtatious? I think she likes you somewhere between a friend and a lover. It happens sometimes. It only happens when you guys are out and drinking....yep...it happens. It happened to me. Don't get your heart set on her. Eventually she'll find a guy that she really likes and get into a relationship. Even then she may not stop being flirtatious with you. What happened to me was that this girl and I become really good friends and I really fell for her. I tried reading into way too much like you are. One evening it happened...we had sex. i thought "for sure we'll start something now. She wouldn't make love to me without feeling the same way"

 

How foolish I was.

 

I was making love to her. She was f***ing me. She wasn't trying to hurt me. She only thought as me as a friend....and only as more than a friend when we were partying or drinking.....to this day(13 years later) I think she's the same way. Eventually I had to put some distance between us. We're still friends...but now that i have a real gf I don't let her hang on me like that anymore.

 

Bottom line...if you're single....enjoy the female attention and have fun. Keep your eyes open for a real oppurtunity and go for it.

 

If she actually does like you and for some strange reason won't act on it...she MAY act after you have a girlfriend. WARNING: do not use a new girlfriend as a ploy to make her jealous. it won't work. You'll crumble way too fast and kiss her feet too soon. Plus....there is like only a 2% chance that she actually wants a relationship with you....

 

Take it from me...enjoy her friendship and her affection while it lasts and ....stop thinking about it.

[trebon]

exactly, enjoy it. You obviously have a good friend there so enjoy the attention. Most girls get flirty when theyve had a couple of 'beverages' so you cant judge on that.

 

If there isnt any contact like that at other time then you know it is most likey 'just friends' but that's ok. If she did like you there wouldnt be this doubt in your mind - All that has happened is your wishful thinking taking control of your head unfortunatley. Ive been there too and its not nice, but a close friedn is way better than nothing.

 

good luck