flavius Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 It's a little late to do this thread under sexuality, ain't it? I'm telling you, that the whole notion that people were ignorant of female sexual pleasure/orgasm is just plain false. And I am glad its false. The "common people" had the "common knowledge" because they had "common anatomy." MOST children play with themselves just because it is there. MOST discover sexual pleasure without being instructed to. Don't tell me that a dozen generations could pass with all the girls failing to reach under the blanket to find their pussies. It s absurd. MAYBE among a few upper-middle-class Victorians with full-time oppressive supervision, but that is a tiny sample of humanity. Even then it would be something unspoken of, but still not unknown. If a concept is relatively unknown, it would require some explanation every time it is mentioned. Yet neither Shakespear (16th C) nor the great missionary anthropologists (19th C) were at a loss for words about female pleasure. Indeed there are dozens of vulgarisms from the 17th-19th centuries for orgasms male & female. (See Bawdy Language by Lawrence Paros) These arise from common speech, not from secret medical research. They called it female hysteria, but think about it. WHY would you treat anything by inducing orgasms? HOW would anyone making a pretense of science miss the analogy with the male orgasm? The answer? EVERYBODY KNEW! It was all just Victorian euphemism. (I guess it was therapeutic: "My husband is crummy in bed, Doc. Can you help me?") The first person who ever held an electrical device that vibrated felt the sensation in their body and made the connection. He put it to his wife, and then started making money the next day. My 7 year old daughter got a vibrating "magic sleep pillow" for her birthday and it took her not 10 seconds to start rubbing it on her pussy. And rubbing, and rubbing. When I was little we had an aquarium pump that buzzed noisily, and even that thing found its way into my pants. You do not have to be a scientist to figure it out. I have a 6 y.o. niece (with a prudish mother) whose "nasty little habit" is that she sits around masturbating like while she watches TV or whatever. (She's one of those luckylittle farts who can just cross her legs, squirm around, and hatch a little O. Repeatedly. Ain't that cool?) The sensation tells you to keep going, and eventually most girls get there. And they talk to each other. My little sister showed my prudish big sister how to get off, right in their bedroom. Girls can't keep secrets, secrets are for telling. And if a girl doesn't show you, then a boy or a man will. Nobody had to tell ME that a slick pink hole in the crotch was her pleasure-port. It is self-evident! And I distinctly remember playing Doctor with Nancy and Stephanie in the garage, and they BOTH got the same therapy, and each one watched while I successfully 'treated' the other, and we were just 11 and 12, and had ever heard of an orgasm! By the next morning Carla was at my door. And if any man didn't understand it before he started licking it (a near-universal male instinct) he sure understands it after she throws her head back and moans. As long as there are boys, girls, and garages, female orgasms cannot be kept secret. Link to post Share on other sites
climbergirl Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 I think you can know whether you have sexual chemistry with someone without actually having sex them. Kind of....but, reality is, you never really know if it's chemistry or just horniness until you get the pants off. And, really, give it a year before discerning if it's just to have sex rather than having sex with that person. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted July 14, 2006 Share Posted July 14, 2006 I think you can know whether you have sexual chemistry with someone without actually having sex them. I agree with this. For me, sex is all about intimacy and creativity - the latter I can seriously read from one's personality. No need to try before you buy. This one can be learned "on the job." Without question. Link to post Share on other sites
lil_angel Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 yep, a person isnt a product to test run, ur in for a rocky future if u judge them on how good they r in bed. and flavius, while i agree that they were aware of it, u make it sound like everyone masturbates, especially kids. i can honestly tell u have never masturbated or had any real desire to Link to post Share on other sites
climbergirl Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 yep, a person isnt a product to test run, ur in for a rocky future if u judge them on how good they r in bed. and flavius, while i agree that they were aware of it, u make it sound like everyone masturbates, especially kids. i can honestly tell u have never masturbated or had any real desire to With all due respect, this is what 'dating' is about...or else we would be marrying the first person we fell in love with. What seems apparent at the outset maybe isn't so after a few months. And I don't think anyone is judging how someone is in bed........rather how we are together in bed. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 With all due respect, this is what 'dating' is about...or else we would be marrying the first person we fell in love with. First, or only?? When I fall in love, it will be forever. Marrying for love is just nuts. And I still don't believe that dating has to involve testing the sexual waters. Link to post Share on other sites
climbergirl Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 First, or only?? When I fall in love, it will be forever. Marrying for love is just nuts. And I still don't believe that dating has to involve testing the sexual waters. I have fallen 'in love' in different respects at different stages in my life. Some (in retrospect) were more mature than others. Example; I 'thought' I was in love with my boyfriend when I was 15..... <<And I still don't believe that dating has to involve testing the sexual waters.>> Ahhh....don't think I stated that dating/sex were juxtaposed.......but, got me on that, if I'm serious about someone they do kind of go together. What I was saying is that dating, in essence, is testing a 'product' (your words, I believe) to see if the initial attraction is substantiated by other attributes.....(humor, values, goals, etc...........and SEX -IMO) But that's just me..........no offense intended on anyone's morals/values. Link to post Share on other sites
climbergirl Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 Magichands...........my apology to you. "product/test run" isn't something you said. I'm sorry I referenced it to you....... Link to post Share on other sites
nips5050 Posted July 22, 2006 Share Posted July 22, 2006 Sally - there are a lot of posts on here that are trying to steer you away from what you believe but it seems that you are confident to stick to what you believe. That is important to hold on to! I agree with what someone said, this post is about how to refrain. What works for me is knowing that sex is VERY powerful and lots and lots of prayer. Also, keeping yourself out of 'positions' that could make it tempting. I used to want to wait until marriage but I let my 'feelings' and desires get the best of me. Once I had sex, I realized that I opened a door that would be EXTREMELY hard to shut. And it has been. I'm waiting until marriage again but I can tell you that I struggle more with temptation and desires for sex MORE than I EVER did when I was a virgin. It's cuz I opened that stinkin door!! I tell people all the time - are you strong? Do you think you could push a door like that shut?? (sorry, I talk about this topic a lot so I wnated to share some of the advice I give them- I work with teenagers) When you do other things that you dont want to do, there's guilt. You feel guilty. I am positive that if you have sex before you get married, the guilt will be INTENSE. Do you want to also deal with that? So now you are dealing with temptation AND guilt. So not worth it. I believe that is why God tells us to save it until marriage - because he knows what happens when people have sex before marriage (I am sure you can think of all the 'results' and 'outcomes' of people having sex outside of a loving relationship - the list is LONG). I know that you wanted specific advice but I firmly believe that with knowledge comes perseverance(check out romans 5). When you know WHY you shouldn't/don't want to have sex before marriage and putting your CONFIDENCE in sticking to that...you will be strong. Remember, there is NOTHING wrong with sex. There is NOTHING wrong with desiring sex. NOTHING!! Right time, right place. God didnt tell us to wait until marriage to be mean...he did it to protect our hearts!! I am proud of you for all that you are doing...it is a rare, and strong person to save themselves. Trust in God's strength (Proverbs 3:5-6) - his strength is greater!!! Link to post Share on other sites
waitingforlove Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 Sally00, I'm glad you started the thread. It's not easy, but there are more and more girls out there starting to want to save their virginity until marriage. You can do it. Just maintain your very strong belief and confidence. It sounds like your boyfriend is very understanding, so you're very lucky! Since he can wait, that should take the pressure off you. Good luck and hang in there! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 good for you to wait for marriage--WAIT...it is hard, but i did it, also because of religious beliefs. you will be thankful you did when you get married--and all of the sudden all the "fooling around" that made you so anxious to have sex before marriage will just seem silly. but here is something to consider, and something i am struggling with--if he had sex before marriage (as my husband had), you may feel jealousy once you have had sex and realize the intimacy of the act. as i am struggling with it now and wish it on no one, i advise you to come to terms with it before hand--talk with him and between you and God. i thought i accepted that he was not a virgin before we were married, but i guess i didn't really understand how much it would hurt me. good luck, stay true to your beliefs, and happy love Link to post Share on other sites
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