Am I crazy for thinking like this?

[Guest]

My girlfriend and I have only been together for a short period of time. 4 months to be exact.

 

Here is the thing I am 22 and have had my goals set and work hard to accomplish them. I work full time and bought my house when I was 19 I just bought a new car and started a business that is going well so far. I am at the least pretty established for my age I think. I always told myself that I would never even entertain the idea of marriage until I was at least 25 I never even thought about it in past relationships that have lasted over a year.

 

All of a sudden I am dating this wonderful girl. I can't stop thinking about. My whole persona of being busy and keeping myself busy with work and my business and doing things around the house and a social life. All of it has changed because of this wonderful person. Now instead of wanting to keep myself busy I find myself wanting to see her or even better include her in things I like to do. The greatest thing is she loves to spend time with me doing things that I like to do well because she has the same simular interest.

 

A little background on her she is 22 fresh out of school and just started her full time job. Still lives with her parents and has been engaged before. The engagement before she says she felt pressured to say yes because it was on stage at a concert in front of thousands of people. She called it all off about 9 months ago.

 

We started dating and everything is great. The fact that i can honestly say I am in love with her which is unusaul for me because I am not one that is quick to say I Love you to anyone. My business is in the Wedding industry and we were at a bridal show recently. Well just the other day we talked about how comfortable we felt together and so fast and how it is so unusal because it isn't like either of us. We started talking about us and our future but made it clear that you know this wouldn't happen tomorrow, next week or next month for that matter. But I can't stop thinking about it and niether can she. so I figured that ok if things are the same or even better in 6 months would it be to early to actually pop the question?

 

Sorry for the novel.

[Mirage222]

Crazy no! In love yes!

 

If she is your *one* then go for it.

[bab]

6 months from now, you'll have been dating for 10 months. Not quite out of the honeymoon period yet, but it is certainly not unheard of to be engaged by that point. Just try and be objective about the positives and don't put potential pitfalls on the back burner, because when you are talking marriage NOTHING stays on the back burner forever. When you get there, do the whole pre-martial counselling thing. Congrats on finding someone you connect with!

[beachlover]

I would say go ahead and get engaged but try for a longer engagement... like a year or more... It is easier to break off an engagement than to get a divorce.

 

One thing to also consider is that you are young (I am too... I am only 20) but just because all of your friends from high school and college are getting married doesn't mean that you have to as well. I know you said that you didn't even want to think about marriage until you were 25, so keep that idea in the back of your mind. If you date her for another year or so then get engaged you will probably have a better chance of not getting divorced than if you were to get married this year, and you will be closer to 25, Thjngs change over time, you will be surprised how much will change in a year, hopefully they are good changes.

 

Sorry for all the random thoughts. Just make sure you are getting engaged/married for the right reasons.

[chryssy83]

I think that at your age, you can know what you want. I thought I wouldn't date anyone seriously until after I graduated from college, so that I could move off anywhere and find the perfect job with no geographic ties. Then I met the guy I am with now and everything changed.

 

We both swore we would never be in an LDR. We are now, and it works (even though it's hard).

 

When you are making these abstract "plans," you couldn't possibly anticipate the person who will make you realize that plans can (and often should) be changed. You sound like a VERY responsible guy. I bet you don't do much spontaneously. Marriage is a huge decision and commitment, but I think that if you are sure you want to marry this girl in 6 months, getting engaged wouldn't be a bad thing. I agree with other posters that a longer engagement (maybe a year, which I thought was pretty standard until I read this board!!) would be good too. It gives you time to make sure you are ready for the marriage (not just the wedding) and to learn more about each other. I am ultra-responsible like you--I've done one truly spontaneous thing in my whole life. I consider engagement a new phase of the relationship, so I think it's good that it lasts a while so that you can get everything out of it that you should.

 

Don't stress too much about this--you don't really have a problem here!! Most people would kill to find the kind of relationship you are in. Cherish the relationship, cherish her, and don't be too scared. Every marriage takes a leap of faith.

[norajane]

Congratulations on being in love! It really IS the most wonderful feeling

 

Don't confuse it with love, though. Loving someone takes time, time to know them and yourself under all kinds of circumstances and in different situations that can only come up over time. Time to see what kind of person you are, who she is, to see where your compatibilities are and where they aren't, time to learn how to deal with your differences, time to see how you communicate with each other when things aren't going well, and time to understand what will make you happy in the long run.

 

Your 20's are a time of great change - enjoy what you have together without worrying too much about the future and forever. Revel in it, have fun with it, deepen your bond. You'll know when the right time is to consider marriage and an engagement.