Re: Should it be this confusing?

[Daisy]

Seems like you answered your own question. You know what you really want and desire, you just need to work past your fear of commitment.

 

Think of it this way ... the grass is NEVER greener on the other side. Especially in this case. Granted, there are some cases where abuse may be taking place ... but that's the only time the grass is EVER greener on the other side. You have a wonderful, beautiful, caring woman at your fingertips ... in which plenty of other men would die to have ... and your sitting there wondering if there's someone better out there. Why not be satisfied with what you have?

 

Because you'll NEVER EVER figure out the answer to the question that keeps running through your mind "What if there's someone out there who's better"? Never. All you'll do to yourself is make your life miserable, because there's no feasible way for you to actually find out. It's a hopeless way to live.

[Lilly]

I posted part of this response to someone else's problem awhile back... seems appropriate to re-post it to address your concerns:

 

Consider that the grass probably isn't greener on the other side.

 

Seems we live in a 'trade-up' era. We trade smaller homes for bigger ones, older cars for newer. We want, we want, we want. Something or someone else is always going to be better.

 

Why would our relationship be the one exception to the rule?. Maybe, with a different partner, our needs would be met and met more often and we'd finally be satisfied.

 

Obviously there are times when a new partner is the answer... seems as if that's exception rather than the norm. Often the fantasy of someone different is a lot better than the reality of someone different. I know many people who left their partners for someone else - someone younger or better looking, or someone who gave them more attention, be it in the bedroom or not, or who had more money or whatever. Without exception, the fantasy was better than the reality.

 

New partners may be great, but, like the rest of us, they have issues of some sort. Along with new partners come a new set of problems. You'd have to put up with something else. Guaranteed. There's just no way around it. NO ONE is perfect.

 

You just aren't ready for a committed relationship, no matter how much you try and fool yourself, you have commitment issues. Personally, I'm sick of guys who are aware they have this issue yet keep choosing to form relationships with women when they know it will eventually pop up... in the end it is us, the women, who then get emotionally screwed around. Have you stopped for a minute to consider how this may affecting your girlfriends head and emotions? Nope. It's all about you and what YOU want. It is extremely unfair to be with someone and put them through this when in fact it is YOUR problem. I wish to God men would deal with this recurring issue whilst they are single and unattached, BEFORE entering a relationship.

 

Commitment = serious emotional intent backed up by consistent actions, over time. Commitment is a continuous choice by two people to act in a certain way, with both maintaining a shared vision of the future.

 

Your current vision of the future is "could someone make me happier". You may just have to find out that the grass isn't greener on the other side to understand what commitment is.